Flirting With Chaos

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Authors: Kenya Wright
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without…having a meltdown.”
    “It wasn’t a meltdown. You were just taken by surprise.”
    A Hispanic man in a suit stepped out. “Mr. Everett, is everything okay?”
    “Yeah. Could you bring us up two glasses of water?” He glanced at me. “Do you want anything else?”
    “Wine.”
    “No alcohol, remember? You already took E.”
    “Then just the water. That should be perfect.”
    The man disappeared behind the door. Jude grabbed my hand, lifted me up, and guided me several feet near the edge of the roof. A railing surrounded the space, but still my nerves remained jittery.
    “Come on and check out this view,” Jude said.
    I sat down on the ground. He got directly behind me, spread his legs open, and placed me right between them as he wrapped my body in a bear hug.
    He nuzzled the back of my neck. “Focus on how amazing our city looks.”
    South Beach glittered. Luxury hotels pierced the air and glowed in illuminating blues, pinks, and greens. Below, many strolled the streets in an eclectic fashion show typical of the city. That was the number one thing that I loved about Miami. Everybody fit in. All belonged. Some women walked in high heels. Others ambled by in flip-flops. Everything from bikinis to expensive dresses, torn shirts to high fashion suits, draped the people walking by. Dreadlocked hippies ambled toward designer suit-wearing guys with clean-cut hair and pricey shoes.
    Salsa music and Reggaeton dominated the air waves as people drove through, blasting their music. So many scents rode the breeze—grilled fish and perfume, to weed smoke and the salty scent of the sea. I breathed it all in deep into my core and focused only on that moment, that instance where nothing else surrounded me but Jude’s arms and our city.
    I exhaled. “Thank you.”
    Jude ran his fingers through my curls. “I love your hair like this.”
    “I did it for you.”
    “Really? Why?”
    I rolled my eyes. “To smooth you over so much so you could be excited about the idea of taking my virginity.”
    He chuckled. “Is that why you wore that sexy, tight dress?”
    “Yes.”
    “And you say I’m ridiculous. You thought you had to do your hair a certain way and put on some designer dress to get my attention?”
    Horns beeped below.
    “I was nervous.”
    Jude rested his hands on my shoulders and kneaded his fingertips into all the areas of built up tension. My skin tingled all over. A wave of calm poured over me.
    “I’m starting to feel better.” I inhaled and my heart sped up. “I mean, really, really better.”
    “The pill is doing its magic.”
    I stretched my arms. “Maybe.”
    He laughed.
    “What’s so funny?”
    “There was nothing to be nervous about. You didn’t have to style your hair like this or sport a tiny dress. I would do anything for you, Rain, but making love to you isn’t really going to be some huge sacrifice. I’ve thought about it…sometimes.”
    “Really?”
    “I’m a man and you’re a woman. Of course I’ve thought about it. Especially when you let me sleep next to you in your room in Sarasota.”
    “Now, that’s going to be awkward the next time you come up.”
    “Things may be weird regardless after we make love, but I—”
    “We’re not doing anything. I’m really serious.” I looked over my shoulder. “I don’t think you should take my virginity.”
    “Why?” He frowned and had the nerve to actually appear hurt.
    “I decided that I was being rash tonight.”
    “You’re never rash. You think shit through for weeks and months. Knowing you, I bet you had a chart listing out the good and bad possibilities of us hooking up.”
    He was right, but I had no intention of telling him so.
    “What changed your mind?”
    I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
    “You’re full of it. My dad got in your head.”
    “No. It really wasn’t him. I think it was more your whole…seeing my apple bag and just taking it all in stride as if it was no big deal and then running

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