me.
“Josef,” he said with wide a smile, revealing crooked yellow teeth, “I am your uncle Vladimir Petrovic.”
Before I could even begin to process what he was saying or what it meant, he’d wrapped his torpedo arms around me and tears were dripping down his face onto my forehead.
“My brother, God rest his soul, was married to your father’s sister, God rest her soul,” he said with a heavy Eastern European accent. “We are relatives!”
I knew that what this man was saying didn’t add up to his being a “relative.” But in the “it’s all relative” sense, this was the first person I’d ever met who had any connection to my real family, and despite the fact that he was pretty gross, I felt a little leap in my heart.
He pulled away enough to “get a good look” at me with his twinkly gray eyes. I was still in a state of disbelief when two of my father’s security men swooped in, separating me from Vladimir Petrovic.
Security man number one said to Vladimir, “Please come with me, sir.”
“But this is Josef,” Vladimir said, pointing at me.
“We know who he is,” said security man number two. “And we know who you are, and you’ve been warned not to come within two hundred yards of this property. Now please leave quietly with us or we will have to turn you over to the police. You don’t want that, do you, sir?”
Before I could hear Vladimir’s answer, security man number one was whisking me away, saying, “Don’t give that man any concern, young man; we won’t let him harm you.”
I looked over my shoulder and saw Vladimir Petrovic looking over
his
shoulder as he was escorted toward the back entrance. I hadn’t thought for a moment that Vladimir Petrovic wanted to harm me.
Later that night, after all the guests had left, I was in my room alone, halfheartedly unwrapping my gifts, when I heard Robert’s voice over the intercom asking me to come down to the library.
“Close the door and sit down, Joe,” said Robert when I entered the room. I sat in an overstuffed armchair opposite him.
“I’m sure you’ve been wondering about the man who snuck into your party this afternoon,” Robert said in his most serious voice.
“He said he was a relative,” I said anxiously. “Is he?”
“You’re too young to understand this,” Robert said, “but there are people in the world whose only aim is to take advantage of those who have more than they do.”
I understood what he meant, but I didn’t think it applied to the man who’d been whisked away by his security team.
“These people,” Robert continued, “are too lazy or lack the skill to achieve success on their own, so they prey on those who
do
have wealth or talent, or in your mother’s and my case, both. The man you met today is one of those people.”
What was he saying? That the man who had identified himself as my “relative,” Vladimir Petrovic, was trying to get money out of him? If that was his only aim, he was a better actor than Robert, because those tears rolling off his stubbly chin seemed real.
“This man,” Robert went on, “started sending you letters several months ago.”
“What letters?” I wanted to know.
“It’s not important.”
Someone who knew my family was sending me letters, and it wasn’t important?!
“But I didn’t get them,” I said, totally confused and frustrated.
“No, of course not. Joe, I’m your father and it’s my job to protect you…mine and my security team’s. They check the mail every day for any suspicious packages. This man…”
“Mr. Petrovic?”
“Don’t say his name,” Robert said disapprovingly. “This man sent you several letters trying to establish a relationship with you. He’s not a relative, Joe.”
“I know that, but he said his brother was married to my father’s sister. That’s almost related, isn’t it?”
“No, it isn’t. All this man wants is money. He somehow got the name of my attorney—”
“Uncle Larry?”
“Yes,
“Josef,” he said with wide a smile, revealing crooked yellow teeth, “I am your uncle Vladimir Petrovic.”
Before I could even begin to process what he was saying or what it meant, he’d wrapped his torpedo arms around me and tears were dripping down his face onto my forehead.
“My brother, God rest his soul, was married to your father’s sister, God rest her soul,” he said with a heavy Eastern European accent. “We are relatives!”
I knew that what this man was saying didn’t add up to his being a “relative.” But in the “it’s all relative” sense, this was the first person I’d ever met who had any connection to my real family, and despite the fact that he was pretty gross, I felt a little leap in my heart.
He pulled away enough to “get a good look” at me with his twinkly gray eyes. I was still in a state of disbelief when two of my father’s security men swooped in, separating me from Vladimir Petrovic.
Security man number one said to Vladimir, “Please come with me, sir.”
“But this is Josef,” Vladimir said, pointing at me.
“We know who he is,” said security man number two. “And we know who you are, and you’ve been warned not to come within two hundred yards of this property. Now please leave quietly with us or we will have to turn you over to the police. You don’t want that, do you, sir?”
Before I could hear Vladimir’s answer, security man number one was whisking me away, saying, “Don’t give that man any concern, young man; we won’t let him harm you.”
I looked over my shoulder and saw Vladimir Petrovic looking over
his
shoulder as he was escorted toward the back entrance. I hadn’t thought for a moment that Vladimir Petrovic wanted to harm me.
Later that night, after all the guests had left, I was in my room alone, halfheartedly unwrapping my gifts, when I heard Robert’s voice over the intercom asking me to come down to the library.
“Close the door and sit down, Joe,” said Robert when I entered the room. I sat in an overstuffed armchair opposite him.
“I’m sure you’ve been wondering about the man who snuck into your party this afternoon,” Robert said in his most serious voice.
“He said he was a relative,” I said anxiously. “Is he?”
“You’re too young to understand this,” Robert said, “but there are people in the world whose only aim is to take advantage of those who have more than they do.”
I understood what he meant, but I didn’t think it applied to the man who’d been whisked away by his security team.
“These people,” Robert continued, “are too lazy or lack the skill to achieve success on their own, so they prey on those who
do
have wealth or talent, or in your mother’s and my case, both. The man you met today is one of those people.”
What was he saying? That the man who had identified himself as my “relative,” Vladimir Petrovic, was trying to get money out of him? If that was his only aim, he was a better actor than Robert, because those tears rolling off his stubbly chin seemed real.
“This man,” Robert went on, “started sending you letters several months ago.”
“What letters?” I wanted to know.
“It’s not important.”
Someone who knew my family was sending me letters, and it wasn’t important?!
“But I didn’t get them,” I said, totally confused and frustrated.
“No, of course not. Joe, I’m your father and it’s my job to protect you…mine and my security team’s. They check the mail every day for any suspicious packages. This man…”
“Mr. Petrovic?”
“Don’t say his name,” Robert said disapprovingly. “This man sent you several letters trying to establish a relationship with you. He’s not a relative, Joe.”
“I know that, but he said his brother was married to my father’s sister. That’s almost related, isn’t it?”
“No, it isn’t. All this man wants is money. He somehow got the name of my attorney—”
“Uncle Larry?”
“Yes,
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