me, I can tell, and I'm annoyed. "That shot might have just been at the rabbit, Junco."
I shake my head and laugh. "Get a grip, Lucan, you don't shoot cottontails on the sniper range. The shot came from behind me. He wasn't my target, he was my trainer. It was deliberate."
"Then why let you live after killing a trainer?"
I shrug. "Too much time to train another one? They had a job coming up and they needed me. I cannot imagine they could pull out a full-grown clone and expect her to be compliant, they'd have to start again, wouldn't they? They saw I was as well-trained as they would ever get probably, and took their chances."
I'm silent for a few more minutes. "That's how I know there's a God, Lucan. All these lucky breaks, all this training, and all this self-control and determination did not happen by accident. I was made by someone for something. And while everyone seems to think I was made for their purpose, I know that's not true. I have only one true purpose." I give him a crooked smile. "I don't mind doing the jobs you ask me to do, but none of this is my one true purpose. You should know that."
His face is serious when he speaks. "The truth now, Junco. Do you think I might be damned by your God?"
I frown. I don't want to think about this. "Maybe." I regret my answer instantly and look away, not meeting his eyes. "No?"
But I swallow and stare into his blue eyes and give him the truth. "I don't know and I don't want to know. I don't want to know, Lucan. So, it doesn't matter. I just feel like – like we're in this together, ya know? Somehow. We're tied together, you and me. So, if you're damned, Lucan – then so am I." I want to smile but the muscles won't co-operate. "And if we are damned, well, then fuck it. We'll go down together then, I guess."
He puts his arm around me and whispers in my ear. "Thank you for that. It means a lot."
"Unless, of course, God says he's gonna smite me." I feel Lucan's chest shake with a laugh. "Because a little baby smote across the teeth from your father is one thing, but being smoted by your God can't be good. The Bible is full of smiting and smoting. And I've always wanted to use these words in a serious conversation, but never had the chance. So–"
He laughs out loud now. "Junco, I think you're the best thing that has ever happened to me."
I pull back and look up. "Ditto, Lucan. You're actually one of the most reliable people I've had in my life, like – ever ." I let that sink in. "But ya do realize, that's a pretty low bar, right?" I grin at his surprised expression. "I mean, look at my parents. So, don't go getting a big ego or start thinking you're special or anything."
"OK, Junco. Well, you might not like me too much after I tell you this."
"What?"
"Isten will be here at 3 AM to take you to the simulated Earth firing range. You'll spend the next three days with him."
I draw in some air between my teeth. "Yeah, that stings. Isten was a major asshole today. Not friendly at all. You have any idea what that's about?"
His silence says he does, but he stands up and pulls me to my feet as well. "You'll have to work it out with him, Junco. I better let you rest, 3 AM comes pretty fast."
I give a sloppy salute and he's gone. I stay up there a little longer, then fly down and climb in the bed and drift off within seconds.
Chapter Six
Isten shows up half an hour early and pulls me out of bed by my feet, then picks up a bag he's already packed and drags me, still half out of it, to the waiting flyer that will take us to the spaceport. I sleep all the way there, rouse myself just long enough to buckle into the free-G harness, then pass back out.
When I wake up we are still fucking pushing through deep space. I check my vision screen for the time. It's just past noon. "Jasus fuck, Isten, where the hell is this place?"
He doesn't look up from his logs. "We'll be there in another hour."
I yawn. "Fuck it. If you're still gonna be a dick
I shake my head and laugh. "Get a grip, Lucan, you don't shoot cottontails on the sniper range. The shot came from behind me. He wasn't my target, he was my trainer. It was deliberate."
"Then why let you live after killing a trainer?"
I shrug. "Too much time to train another one? They had a job coming up and they needed me. I cannot imagine they could pull out a full-grown clone and expect her to be compliant, they'd have to start again, wouldn't they? They saw I was as well-trained as they would ever get probably, and took their chances."
I'm silent for a few more minutes. "That's how I know there's a God, Lucan. All these lucky breaks, all this training, and all this self-control and determination did not happen by accident. I was made by someone for something. And while everyone seems to think I was made for their purpose, I know that's not true. I have only one true purpose." I give him a crooked smile. "I don't mind doing the jobs you ask me to do, but none of this is my one true purpose. You should know that."
His face is serious when he speaks. "The truth now, Junco. Do you think I might be damned by your God?"
I frown. I don't want to think about this. "Maybe." I regret my answer instantly and look away, not meeting his eyes. "No?"
But I swallow and stare into his blue eyes and give him the truth. "I don't know and I don't want to know. I don't want to know, Lucan. So, it doesn't matter. I just feel like – like we're in this together, ya know? Somehow. We're tied together, you and me. So, if you're damned, Lucan – then so am I." I want to smile but the muscles won't co-operate. "And if we are damned, well, then fuck it. We'll go down together then, I guess."
He puts his arm around me and whispers in my ear. "Thank you for that. It means a lot."
"Unless, of course, God says he's gonna smite me." I feel Lucan's chest shake with a laugh. "Because a little baby smote across the teeth from your father is one thing, but being smoted by your God can't be good. The Bible is full of smiting and smoting. And I've always wanted to use these words in a serious conversation, but never had the chance. So–"
He laughs out loud now. "Junco, I think you're the best thing that has ever happened to me."
I pull back and look up. "Ditto, Lucan. You're actually one of the most reliable people I've had in my life, like – ever ." I let that sink in. "But ya do realize, that's a pretty low bar, right?" I grin at his surprised expression. "I mean, look at my parents. So, don't go getting a big ego or start thinking you're special or anything."
"OK, Junco. Well, you might not like me too much after I tell you this."
"What?"
"Isten will be here at 3 AM to take you to the simulated Earth firing range. You'll spend the next three days with him."
I draw in some air between my teeth. "Yeah, that stings. Isten was a major asshole today. Not friendly at all. You have any idea what that's about?"
His silence says he does, but he stands up and pulls me to my feet as well. "You'll have to work it out with him, Junco. I better let you rest, 3 AM comes pretty fast."
I give a sloppy salute and he's gone. I stay up there a little longer, then fly down and climb in the bed and drift off within seconds.
Chapter Six
Isten shows up half an hour early and pulls me out of bed by my feet, then picks up a bag he's already packed and drags me, still half out of it, to the waiting flyer that will take us to the spaceport. I sleep all the way there, rouse myself just long enough to buckle into the free-G harness, then pass back out.
When I wake up we are still fucking pushing through deep space. I check my vision screen for the time. It's just past noon. "Jasus fuck, Isten, where the hell is this place?"
He doesn't look up from his logs. "We'll be there in another hour."
I yawn. "Fuck it. If you're still gonna be a dick
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