Tags:
Humor,
Fiction,
Mystery & Detective,
Women Sleuths,
Mystery,
Travel,
France,
cozy,
Paris,
cozy mystery,
senior citizens,
tourist,
maddy hunter
me,” Jackie said in a voice breathy with apology, “but I believe those seats are taken.”
“I know they are.” The gentleman grinned. “By me and my wife.” He tapped his name tag. “I’m Leo. This is Izetta.”
“What I meant was, they’re being saved for me and my friend.”
“No they’re not.” Bobbi Benedict regarded Jackie from beneath the brim of her pale blue Western hat. “It’s first come, first serve. No seat saving allowed.” She glanced at her two blonde companions for confirmation. “Idn’t that right?”
Alligator Boots, whose name tag identified her as Dawna Chestnut from Nacogdoches, Texas, inched her rosy lips into a smug smile. “Sure is,” she drawled as she hiked her strapless bustier toward her chin.
Snakeskin Jeans dusted her cheek with the tail end of her long platinum hair, her eyes gleaming with satisfaction. “Ditto what Dawna said.” I glanced at her name tag. Krystal Cake. Abilene, Texas.
I tugged on Jackie’s dress. “There’s an empty seat over there. I’m going to—”
“Mom? Dad?” A middle-aged woman in a clingy cocktail dress intercepted Leo and Izetta before they could sit. “We’re saving seats for you on the other side of the room. You want to join us? I have your pill caddies.” She flashed a smile at the Mona Michelle elite. “Sorry.” Grasping her parents by their elbows, she gently navigated them away from the table.
Jackie shot a puzzled look across the table at Bobbi. “I thought you said there was no seat saving.”
“There isn’t. And if that gal had read through the booklet they left in her cabin, she’d know it, too.”
“I’ve failed to read any policy that prohibits guests from saving seats,” rasped Victor as he motioned for Jackie and me to sit down. He was without his oxygen pack tonight, so his breathing sounded a little more forced.
“You have no credibility,” scoffed Virginia. “You forgot to pack your reading glasses. You can’t read anything.” She turned in her chair to scan the room. “Where’s the sommelier?”
“The what ?” asked Woody, who had somehow ended up at our table rather than at his son Cal’s.
“The s um-el-yay ,” she repeated in three drawn-out syllables. “The wine steward.”
“Well, would you listen to those French words fallin’ out of your mouth?” gushed Dawna. “You sound just like a native. Victor never mentioned you could speak two whole languages. I am so impressed.”
“Don’t be.” Virginia fixed her with an imperious stare. “Sommelier isn’t a French word; it’s English. Perhaps instead of a new-and- improved retractable lip liner, you should think about buying yourself a thesaurus.”
Confusion clouded Dawna’s eyes, chased away by a sudden peal of laughter. “You are such a tease,” she scolded. “Go buy myself a thesaurus. You know very well those creatures have been extinct for at least two thousand years.”
Gee, Victor’s wife might not be the easiest person to warm up to, but I was really beginning to like her.
Virginia angled a meaningful look at her husband. “However do you manage to keep the company afloat? Creative bookkeeping?”
“Leave her alone, my pet. The day Mona Michelle expands into the dictionary business will be the day I listen to your complaint.”
Woody cast admiring looks around the table as he shook out his napkin. “I’ve lived a lot of years, ladies. More than I’ll ever admit to. But I have to confess, I can’t remember a time in my life when I’ve had the pleasure of being surrounded by so many beautiful women all at the same time. I feel like I’ve died and gone to heaven.”
“Aw, aren’t you just the sweetest man?” bubbled Krystal, reward ing him with a thousand-watt smile enhanced by flirtatious eye movements.
“And while I’m on the subject of dying, have any of you lovely ladies ever stopped to realize that your next meal might be your last?”
I dropped my head to my chest. Not again .
Dawna
Shirley Jackson
Patrick Kinney
Kate Whitsby
Jana DeLeon
Michael Grant
Justin Tussing
Bianca James
Alex Gray
Laura Resnick
Tessa Dare