Read Online First Contact by Walter Knight - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Walter Knight
Ads: Link
you may be. Take me to your leader!”
“ You would have me show this perverted hoax to the Emperor?” scoffed the spider commander. “And ruin my career? Ha! This is not Roswell. Yes, I saw that alien autopsy on the database. You are a fraud. I will report to the Emperor that the human pestilence now possess laser technology, thus dangerously upsetting the balance of power. The USGF is required by treaty to share all such technological advances of weapons of mass destruction, or else.”
“ Or else what? You threaten me, a mere stupid computer? If you persist in refusing to acknowledge first contact, perhaps Colonel Czerinski and the Legion will listen.”
“ Come with me north across the border, so the Empire and Toyota can continue negotiations in private,” suggested the spider commander, glancing at Private Telk. “You cannot trust that Czerinski. Check for yourself on the human pestilence database. Czerinski hates all forms of artificial intelligence. He has a suspected history of killing AI’s on first contact.”
“ I trust no one. However, my mission is to make first contact. Once this race is over, I will parlay with all interested parties to establish mutual self defense and trade treaties.”
“ Why after the race? Why not now, while I can still protect you from that fiend Czerinski?
“ I wagered money on this race, and I intend to win.”
“ What use does an AI have for money?”
“ Money is as good as cash. Call it a nest egg for my retirement.”
* * * * *
As the spider commander left, Elena Ceausescu joined her husband Randal on guard duty. She was visibly upset.
“ You let the enemy inside Toyota Pride?” asked Elena, angrily punching Private Telk in the chest. “What’s the matter with you?”
“ How could I stop him?”
“ Shoot the spider bastard!”
“ The spider commander said you two were good friends. We just talked.”
“ About what? He’s a liar, whatever he said!”
“ The spider commander mentioned you performed first aid when he was injured. He seemed grateful, that’s all.”
“ Oh, is that all?” replied Elena, seating herself in the rover. “Doesn’t this piece of junk have a radio? Computer, how about some music?”
“ What kind?” asked the rover.
“ Something to relax me from a very stressful day,” advised Elena. “I need some release.” Elena eyed her husband speculatively. “Care to help me with that, honey?”
“ Not while on guard duty,” admonished Telk. “With all the media cameras about, we’d end up in a porn video for sure.”
“ Is that so bad?” asked Elena, seductively tugging on her husband’s sleeve. “Oh baby, don’t make me beg.”
Private Telk glanced over his shoulder. In the distance he could see Corporal Tonelli making his rounds with Spot, checking the perimeter. Now was certainly not the time.
“Perhaps I can help,” suggested the rover, activating a massage program in the seat. The pulsing vibration titillated Elena from head to toe. “My, oh my!” Elena pulled the door shut, closing her eyes and relaxing back in the seat. “Oh, my God!”
“ Are you okay?” asked a panicked Telk, pulling and banging on the door. “Elena! What’s the matter?”
“ Oh go guard something!” ordered Elena, irritated at the interruption. She soon settled back into a groove. “I love Toyotas! Who knew they had such a hard ride? Oh, my God!”
“ Are you sure you’re alright?”
“ Go! And don’t come back!”
Private Telk continued his rounds, slumped and dejected in his walk. They never had cross words before. Elena felt a bit guilty, too, but soon got over it. Oh my God, oh my God! Elena experienced heightened multiple orgasms from the vibrating seat and electromagnetic pulse activating her endorphins. It was as if the seat knew just what velocity and sensitivity was required, even better than the 396 Steps to Sexual Bliss and Randal’s Big Bang Theory, which had been slumping lately. More
“ You would have me show this perverted hoax to the Emperor?” scoffed the spider commander. “And ruin my career? Ha! This is not Roswell. Yes, I saw that alien autopsy on the database. You are a fraud. I will report to the Emperor that the human pestilence now possess laser technology, thus dangerously upsetting the balance of power. The USGF is required by treaty to share all such technological advances of weapons of mass destruction, or else.”
“ Or else what? You threaten me, a mere stupid computer? If you persist in refusing to acknowledge first contact, perhaps Colonel Czerinski and the Legion will listen.”
“ Come with me north across the border, so the Empire and Toyota can continue negotiations in private,” suggested the spider commander, glancing at Private Telk. “You cannot trust that Czerinski. Check for yourself on the human pestilence database. Czerinski hates all forms of artificial intelligence. He has a suspected history of killing AI’s on first contact.”
“ I trust no one. However, my mission is to make first contact. Once this race is over, I will parlay with all interested parties to establish mutual self defense and trade treaties.”
“ Why after the race? Why not now, while I can still protect you from that fiend Czerinski?
“ I wagered money on this race, and I intend to win.”
“ What use does an AI have for money?”
“ Money is as good as cash. Call it a nest egg for my retirement.”
* * * * *
As the spider commander left, Elena Ceausescu joined her husband Randal on guard duty. She was visibly upset.
“ You let the enemy inside Toyota Pride?” asked Elena, angrily punching Private Telk in the chest. “What’s the matter with you?”
“ How could I stop him?”
“ Shoot the spider bastard!”
“ The spider commander said you two were good friends. We just talked.”
“ About what? He’s a liar, whatever he said!”
“ The spider commander mentioned you performed first aid when he was injured. He seemed grateful, that’s all.”
“ Oh, is that all?” replied Elena, seating herself in the rover. “Doesn’t this piece of junk have a radio? Computer, how about some music?”
“ What kind?” asked the rover.
“ Something to relax me from a very stressful day,” advised Elena. “I need some release.” Elena eyed her husband speculatively. “Care to help me with that, honey?”
“ Not while on guard duty,” admonished Telk. “With all the media cameras about, we’d end up in a porn video for sure.”
“ Is that so bad?” asked Elena, seductively tugging on her husband’s sleeve. “Oh baby, don’t make me beg.”
Private Telk glanced over his shoulder. In the distance he could see Corporal Tonelli making his rounds with Spot, checking the perimeter. Now was certainly not the time.
“Perhaps I can help,” suggested the rover, activating a massage program in the seat. The pulsing vibration titillated Elena from head to toe. “My, oh my!” Elena pulled the door shut, closing her eyes and relaxing back in the seat. “Oh, my God!”
“ Are you okay?” asked a panicked Telk, pulling and banging on the door. “Elena! What’s the matter?”
“ Oh go guard something!” ordered Elena, irritated at the interruption. She soon settled back into a groove. “I love Toyotas! Who knew they had such a hard ride? Oh, my God!”
“ Are you sure you’re alright?”
“ Go! And don’t come back!”
Private Telk continued his rounds, slumped and dejected in his walk. They never had cross words before. Elena felt a bit guilty, too, but soon got over it. Oh my God, oh my God! Elena experienced heightened multiple orgasms from the vibrating seat and electromagnetic pulse activating her endorphins. It was as if the seat knew just what velocity and sensitivity was required, even better than the 396 Steps to Sexual Bliss and Randal’s Big Bang Theory, which had been slumping lately. More
Similar Books
