a folding table by her cot, so that it was just at her eye level. He had put a row of great big dominoes on the table and said, âKnock them down, Vicky. Knock them all down.â And she had raised her hands to push them over, wanting to oblige, and the man had gently but firmly pressed her hands back down on her chest. âYou donât need your hands, Vicky,â he had said. âJust knock them down.â So she had looked at the dominoes and they had fallen over, one after the other. A dozen or so in all.
âIt made me feel very tired,â she told Andy, smiling that small, slantwise smile of hers. âAnd I had gotten this idea somehow that we were discussing Vietnam, you know. So I said something like, âYes, that proves it, if South Vietnam goes, they all go.â And he smiled and patted my hands and said, âWhy donât you sleep for a while, Vicky? You must be tired.â So I did.â She shook her head. âBut now it doesnât seem real at all. I think I must have made it up entirely or built a hallucination around some perfectly normal test. You donât remember seeing him, do you? Tall guy with shoulder-length blond hair and a little scar on his chin?â
Andy shook his head.
âBut I still donât understand how we could share any of the same fantasies,â Andy said, âunless theyâve developed a drug over there thatâs a telepathic as well as an hallucinogenic. I know thereâs been some talk about it in the last few years ⦠the idea seems to be that if hallucinogens can heighten perception â¦â He shrugged, then grinned. âCarlos Castenada, where are you when we need you?â
âIsnât it more likely that we just discussed the same fantasy and then forgot we did?â Vicky asked.
He agreed it was a strong possibility, but he still feltdisquieted by the whole experience. It had been, as they say, a bummer.
Taking his courage in his hands, he said, âThe only thing I really am sure of is that I seem to be falling in love with you, Vicky.â
She smiled nervously and kissed the corner of his mouth. âThatâs sweet, Andy, butââ
âBut youâre a little afraid of me. Of men in general, maybe.â
âMaybe I am,â she said.
âAll Iâm asking for is a chance.â
âYouâll have your chance,â she said. âI like you, Andy. A lot. But please remember that I get scared. Sometimes I just ⦠get scared.â She tried to shrug lightly, but it turned into something like a shudder.
âIâll remember,â he said, and drew her into his arms and kissed her. There was a momentâs hesitation, and then she kissed him back, holding his hands firmly in hers.
15
âDaddy!â Charlie screamed.
The world revolved sickly in front of Andyâs eyes. The sodium arc lamps lining the Northway were below him, the ground was above him and shaking him loose. Then he was on his butt, sliding down the lower half of the embankment like a kid on a slide. Charlie was below him rolling helplessly over and over.
Oh no, sheâs going to shoot right out into the trafficâ
âCharlie!â he yelled hoarsely, hurting his throat, his head. âWatch it!â
Then she was down, squatting in the breakdown lane, washed by the harsh lights of a passing car, sobbing. A moment later he landed beside her with a solid whap! that rocketed all the way up his spine to his head. Things doubled in front of his eyes, tripled, and then gradually settled down.
Charlie was sitting on her haunches, her head cradled in her arms.
âCharlie,â he said, touching her arm. âItâs all right, honey.â
âI wish I did go in front of the cars!â she cried out, her voice bright and vicious with a self-loathing that madeAndyâs heart ache in his chest. âI deserve to for setting that man on fire!â
âShhh,â he
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