said. âCharlie, you donât have to think of that anymore.â
He held her. The cars swashed by them. Any one of them could be a cop, and that would end it. At this point it would almost be a relief.
Her sobs faded off little by little. Part of it, he realized, was simple tiredness. The same thing that was aggravating his headache past the screaming point and bringing this unwelcome flood of memories. If they could only get somewhere and lie down.â¦
âCan you get up, Charlie?â
She got to her feet slowly, brushing the last of the tears away. Her face was a pallid moonlet in the dark. Looking at her, he felt a sharp lance of guilt. She should be snugly tucked into a bed somewhere in a house with a shrinking mortgage, a teddy bear crooked under one arm, ready to go back to school the next morning and do battle for God, country, and the second grade. Instead, she was standing in the breakdown lane of a turnpike spur in upstate New York at one-fifteen in the morning, on the run, consumed with guilt because she had inherited something from her mother and fatherâsomething she herself had had no more part in determining than the direct blue of her eyes. How do you explain to a seven-year-old girl that Daddy and Mommy had once needed two hundred dollars and the people they had talked to said it was all right, but they had lied?
âWeâre going to hook us a ride,â Andy said, and he couldnât tell if he had slung his arm around her shoulders to comfort her or to support himself. âWeâll get to a hotel or a motel and weâll sleep. Then well think about what to do next. That sound all right?â
Charlie nodded listlessly.
âOkay,â he said, and cocked his thumb. The cars rushed by it, unheeding, and less than two miles away the green car was on its way again. Andy knew nothing of this; his harried mind had turned back to that night with Vicky in the Union. She was staying at one of the dorms and he had dropped her off there, relishing her lips again on the step just outside the big double doors, and she had put her arms hesitantly around his neck, this girl who had still been a virgin. They had been young, Jesus they had been young.
The cars rushed by, Charlieâs hair lifted and dropped in each backwash of air, and he remembered the rest of what had happened that night twelve years ago.
16
Andy started across campus after seeing Vicky into her dorm, headed for the highway where he would hitch a ride into town. Although he could feel it only faintly against his face, the May wind beat strongly through the elms lining the mall, as if an invisible river ran through the air just above him, a river from which he could detect only the faintest, farthest ripples.
Jason Gearneigh Hall was on his way and he stopped in front of its dark bulk. Around it, the trees with their new foliage danced sinuously in the unseen current of that river of wind. A cool chill wormed its way down his spine and then settled in his stomach, freezing him lightly. He shivered even though the evening was warm. A big silver-dollar moon rode between the growing rafts of cloudsâgilded keelboats running before the wind, running on that dark river of air. The moonlight reflected on the buildingâs windows, making them glare like blankly unpleasant eyes.
Something happened in there, he thought. Something more than what we were told or led to expect. What was it?
In his mindâs eye he saw that drowning, bloody hand againâonly this time he saw it striking the chart, leaving a bloodstain in the shape of a comma ⦠and then the chart rolling up with a rattling, smacking sound.
He walked toward the building. Crazy. Theyâre not going to let you into a lecture hall at past ten oâclock. Andâ
And Iâm scared.
Yes. That was it. Too many disquieting half-memories. Too easy to persuade himself they had only been fantasies; Vicky was already on her way to
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