Read Online Finding Eden by Megan Dinsdale - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Megan Dinsdale
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dropped my hand back down to my side.
“ Blondie,” he groaned with frustration, “I don’t want these memories to resurface.”
“ I found that ignoring them is worse.” I gathered my courage and placed my hand against his shoulder blade.
He dropped to the ground, kneeling. I followed suit and knelt across from him. I cupped my hands over his knees. He recoiled at my proximity and touch, but I didn’t move. He had to realize that I was there to help, not to emotionally maim him. He looked at the moon and I knew he was mentally estimating how much time until sunrise.
He must have decided we weren’t in any real peril. “My wife’s name was Sarah and our daughter was Danielle. It happened when the tsunami hit.”
I sucked in my breath, holding it. My parents’ faces flashed before my eyes.
“ We were in our house, but the waves practically demolished it. Sarah was holding Danielle when it hit. She was four and still in the stage of constantly wanting to be held by her mom. Anyway,” he continued, “the sun had just disappeared behind the horizon, so it was still light, but not deadly.”
“ Thank God,” I murmured
Tex snorted. “Yeah, thank God for bringing that man over to our direction. Thank God that he decided to use my wife and daughter as his own personal floatation device. He dragged them down, drowning them, without an ounce of regret on his face.”
My hand planted itself over my mouth in a very dramatic manner.
“ If he suffered, then and only then, I’ll thank God.”
“ I hope you don’t blame yourself.” I frowned and without thought, reached for his face.
“ Stop touching me! You are always touching me!” He got to his feet so abruptly that I fell back onto my butt. He started walking again.
I didn’t apologize and followed behind him.
He cleared his throat. He was going to answer my question after all. “I tried my hardest to swim towards them, but the current was too fast and strong.”
“ Then it’s not your fault.”
“ I never said it was.”
“ True, but that’s what you believe.”
“ Why do you think that?”
“ It’s obvious, isn’t it?” I caught up to him. My shoulder accidentally brushed against his arm. “You refuse to open up to me. You try, but you can’t seem to get passed that barrier you built up, not just around yourself, but me as well. You’re afraid that if we become close, something will happen to me and you’ll blame yourself for not being able to save me.” This time I purposely brushed against him. “I think that’s also why you won’t tell me your name. It’ll mean that we have some sort of relationship rather than being strangers. You don’t want to have to care for someone in case you lose them.”
He was silent for a while. He knew I was right and he didn’t know what to say.
“ I’m not like you, Blondie. Admitting aloud that they’re dead won’t suddenly free me from my guilty binds.”
“ No, but it’s a start.” I stuck my hand in my pocket and found my forgotten pack of gum. I handed him a piece. He took it.
“ So, what do you want from me exactly?” He unwrapped the foil from around the gum, dropping the wrapper on the ground.
“ I want you to be okay. I hate seeing you so closed up. We can talk and joke, but at the same time, I feel it’s just a façade. I want to see the real you free of all these, as you call them, binds. I want us to be friends. I want to be able to call you something besides Tex. I feel like you should be wearing a cowboy hat and chaps.”
He barked out laughter. It was a beautiful thing to hear. Tex shoved the gum between his lips and began to chew.
“ You’re not going to tell me your name, are you?” I frowned; my voice was mopey and I felt defeated.
“ Nope,” he smiled. I saw his jaw muscles contract as he chewed.
“ Well,” I exhaled. “At least be more open to me. Be yourself.”
“ I’ll try.” He spit out the gum. “That shit’s nasty.”
I
“ Blondie,” he groaned with frustration, “I don’t want these memories to resurface.”
“ I found that ignoring them is worse.” I gathered my courage and placed my hand against his shoulder blade.
He dropped to the ground, kneeling. I followed suit and knelt across from him. I cupped my hands over his knees. He recoiled at my proximity and touch, but I didn’t move. He had to realize that I was there to help, not to emotionally maim him. He looked at the moon and I knew he was mentally estimating how much time until sunrise.
He must have decided we weren’t in any real peril. “My wife’s name was Sarah and our daughter was Danielle. It happened when the tsunami hit.”
I sucked in my breath, holding it. My parents’ faces flashed before my eyes.
“ We were in our house, but the waves practically demolished it. Sarah was holding Danielle when it hit. She was four and still in the stage of constantly wanting to be held by her mom. Anyway,” he continued, “the sun had just disappeared behind the horizon, so it was still light, but not deadly.”
“ Thank God,” I murmured
Tex snorted. “Yeah, thank God for bringing that man over to our direction. Thank God that he decided to use my wife and daughter as his own personal floatation device. He dragged them down, drowning them, without an ounce of regret on his face.”
My hand planted itself over my mouth in a very dramatic manner.
“ If he suffered, then and only then, I’ll thank God.”
“ I hope you don’t blame yourself.” I frowned and without thought, reached for his face.
“ Stop touching me! You are always touching me!” He got to his feet so abruptly that I fell back onto my butt. He started walking again.
I didn’t apologize and followed behind him.
He cleared his throat. He was going to answer my question after all. “I tried my hardest to swim towards them, but the current was too fast and strong.”
“ Then it’s not your fault.”
“ I never said it was.”
“ True, but that’s what you believe.”
“ Why do you think that?”
“ It’s obvious, isn’t it?” I caught up to him. My shoulder accidentally brushed against his arm. “You refuse to open up to me. You try, but you can’t seem to get passed that barrier you built up, not just around yourself, but me as well. You’re afraid that if we become close, something will happen to me and you’ll blame yourself for not being able to save me.” This time I purposely brushed against him. “I think that’s also why you won’t tell me your name. It’ll mean that we have some sort of relationship rather than being strangers. You don’t want to have to care for someone in case you lose them.”
He was silent for a while. He knew I was right and he didn’t know what to say.
“ I’m not like you, Blondie. Admitting aloud that they’re dead won’t suddenly free me from my guilty binds.”
“ No, but it’s a start.” I stuck my hand in my pocket and found my forgotten pack of gum. I handed him a piece. He took it.
“ So, what do you want from me exactly?” He unwrapped the foil from around the gum, dropping the wrapper on the ground.
“ I want you to be okay. I hate seeing you so closed up. We can talk and joke, but at the same time, I feel it’s just a façade. I want to see the real you free of all these, as you call them, binds. I want us to be friends. I want to be able to call you something besides Tex. I feel like you should be wearing a cowboy hat and chaps.”
He barked out laughter. It was a beautiful thing to hear. Tex shoved the gum between his lips and began to chew.
“ You’re not going to tell me your name, are you?” I frowned; my voice was mopey and I felt defeated.
“ Nope,” he smiled. I saw his jaw muscles contract as he chewed.
“ Well,” I exhaled. “At least be more open to me. Be yourself.”
“ I’ll try.” He spit out the gum. “That shit’s nasty.”
I
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