had a great sex life. I wasn’t a virgin when we got together, so it’s not that kind of story. I didn’t stay with him because he was my first or anything like that. I mean, from day one, we had great physical chemistry. It wasn’t until later that our sex life became horrible, but I’ll get to that.”
“A couple of months after my nineteenth birthday, I skipped my period. Kent took me to the pharmacy and then to dinner. I took the pregnancy test in the bathroom of the restaurant to keep it from my parents. It was positive. I’m not sure how long I stayed in the bathroom, crying, but eventually Kent came in to get me.”
“I had contemplated telling him it was negative and finding a way to get an abortion. Who the hell wants to be a wife and mother at the ripe, old age of nineteen? In the end, I couldn’t hide it. I told him. He was excited. Elated even. He and I told my parents together. And you know what?”
Justin looks surprised. “What?”
“Those assholes, who had preached abstinence to me for years, were fucking ecstatic I’d gotten knocked up. I lost my mind. I actually stood up and screamed at all of them and then stormed off to my room. Kent stayed another hour talking to my parents.”
“The next day, I was informed by my mother that we were going shopping for a wedding dress. That if we remedied it fast enough, no one at their prestigious church would know I’d gotten pregnant out of wedlock.”
Justin interrupts, “Wait. What? They just up and decided what to do without asking you? They didn’t get your opinion on being married? He didn’t propose?”
“Nope. Getting pregnant made it not my decision in my family’s eyes. Good southern girls who get pregnant out of wedlock, and have parents that have a reputation to uphold, get married. It was a bonus for them that Kent was rich and had an amazing job. The perfect man to make their daughter an honest woman. He was going to settle me down. They were thrilled at the idea that someone might be able to do that.”
Incredulity being the winning expression of the day, Justin says, “So you married him. And you had a baby?”
I nod.
Still working it out, he asks, “How old are you now?”
I smile. “I recently turned twenty-eight.”
“Was it a boy or a girl?” he asks.
“A boy. His name is Ethan. He would be eight now.”
Puzzled he asks, “Would be?”
I nod. “Drink.”
Serving me another shot of vodka, I take a deep breath and stand to pace. “You see, I am the worst mother ever. I left him when he was three. I left him with Kent.”
“I’m sure you had your reasons.”
Once again, he’s right. I had plenty of reasons. Justin is seeing the tip of the iceberg. He wants to believe the best of me, and I think he’s precious for it. I know the truth. I was a coward. My biggest regret in life is that I never stood up to Kent.
“I did. I died. You see, Kent was the worst husband I could have found. To my parents, and the rest of the world, he was an amazing, successful provider. At home, he changed. It all started to shift after we got married. I was four months pregnant when he took me to dinner. Morning sickness was more like all day sickness for me. I made the mistake of getting sick at the restaurant where we were having dinner with some of his colleagues. I spent a good bit of time in the bathroom, and turned down dessert offered by his boss.”
I stop pacing when I think about the next part of this story. My breath hitches, and without looking at Justin, I continue, “When we got home, Kent beat me within an inch of my life. I was terrified. When he went to work the next day, I ran away to my parent’s house.
“My mother assured me I had misunderstood him, and I likely did something to deserve getting beat. My rebellions were aggravating for him. She said I would need to settle down for the beatings to stop. She instructed me to make his favorite dinner to make it up to him. I did. That night Kent came home
“A couple of months after my nineteenth birthday, I skipped my period. Kent took me to the pharmacy and then to dinner. I took the pregnancy test in the bathroom of the restaurant to keep it from my parents. It was positive. I’m not sure how long I stayed in the bathroom, crying, but eventually Kent came in to get me.”
“I had contemplated telling him it was negative and finding a way to get an abortion. Who the hell wants to be a wife and mother at the ripe, old age of nineteen? In the end, I couldn’t hide it. I told him. He was excited. Elated even. He and I told my parents together. And you know what?”
Justin looks surprised. “What?”
“Those assholes, who had preached abstinence to me for years, were fucking ecstatic I’d gotten knocked up. I lost my mind. I actually stood up and screamed at all of them and then stormed off to my room. Kent stayed another hour talking to my parents.”
“The next day, I was informed by my mother that we were going shopping for a wedding dress. That if we remedied it fast enough, no one at their prestigious church would know I’d gotten pregnant out of wedlock.”
Justin interrupts, “Wait. What? They just up and decided what to do without asking you? They didn’t get your opinion on being married? He didn’t propose?”
“Nope. Getting pregnant made it not my decision in my family’s eyes. Good southern girls who get pregnant out of wedlock, and have parents that have a reputation to uphold, get married. It was a bonus for them that Kent was rich and had an amazing job. The perfect man to make their daughter an honest woman. He was going to settle me down. They were thrilled at the idea that someone might be able to do that.”
Incredulity being the winning expression of the day, Justin says, “So you married him. And you had a baby?”
I nod.
Still working it out, he asks, “How old are you now?”
I smile. “I recently turned twenty-eight.”
“Was it a boy or a girl?” he asks.
“A boy. His name is Ethan. He would be eight now.”
Puzzled he asks, “Would be?”
I nod. “Drink.”
Serving me another shot of vodka, I take a deep breath and stand to pace. “You see, I am the worst mother ever. I left him when he was three. I left him with Kent.”
“I’m sure you had your reasons.”
Once again, he’s right. I had plenty of reasons. Justin is seeing the tip of the iceberg. He wants to believe the best of me, and I think he’s precious for it. I know the truth. I was a coward. My biggest regret in life is that I never stood up to Kent.
“I did. I died. You see, Kent was the worst husband I could have found. To my parents, and the rest of the world, he was an amazing, successful provider. At home, he changed. It all started to shift after we got married. I was four months pregnant when he took me to dinner. Morning sickness was more like all day sickness for me. I made the mistake of getting sick at the restaurant where we were having dinner with some of his colleagues. I spent a good bit of time in the bathroom, and turned down dessert offered by his boss.”
I stop pacing when I think about the next part of this story. My breath hitches, and without looking at Justin, I continue, “When we got home, Kent beat me within an inch of my life. I was terrified. When he went to work the next day, I ran away to my parent’s house.
“My mother assured me I had misunderstood him, and I likely did something to deserve getting beat. My rebellions were aggravating for him. She said I would need to settle down for the beatings to stop. She instructed me to make his favorite dinner to make it up to him. I did. That night Kent came home
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