Read Online Fear Itself by Duffy Prendergast - Free Book Online

the antifreeze into the coffee cup Sarah asked me, “Daddy, what does that mean?” as she pointed to the skull and crossbones on the back of the container. I told her that it meant that it was poison. “If I drink it will I die?” Yes, I said. She said, “If you drink it will you die?” Yes, I said. “If mommy drinks it will she die?”
    Hearing Sarah’s voice in my head asking the last question sent chills down my spine.
    She couldn’t have done it. She wouldn’t have done it. She loved her mother too much. She was just your typical sweet little girl, incapable of such evil thoughts or actions.
    But, Sarah had the knowledge to accomplish the task. And, she knew that the wine in the decanter in the refrigerator was mommy’s wine.
    I closed the door slowly and made my way back to and fell into the couch. I was in a mild state of shock. I had to ask Sarah if she had done it, but I didn’t want to know the answer to the question; not if she had actually done it. I felt sick to my stomach for even considering that Sarah was capable of murder.
    If she had killed Catherine, deliberately, what would I do? I couldn’t turn her in. I couldn’t stop loving her. I was trapped, and I suppose the easy thing to do would have been to pretend that the notion that Sarah might have murdered Catherine had never occurred to me. But what if the police went to her school and inquired and the teacher told them about the experiment? They would come for her . I had to know if Sarah had killed her mother.
    “Sarah, can you come here honey?”
    I listened as Sarah fumbled with whatever toy she was playing with and then sauntered into the living room with her head down. She had tears in her eyes. I wondered if she was feeling guilty. But my paternal instincts made me want to erase her tears.
    “What’s the matter honey?” I pulled her to my lap and I hugged her.
    “I heard what the policeman said.” “Did what he said make you worry?”
    “Yes.” She whispered into my ear, her head resting on my shoulder. I held her tight. I didn’t want to see her face as I spoke to her.
    “What did he say that worries you?”
    “That mommy drank the freeze…like the stuff we did for my school project.”
    My heart raced. I couldn’t help myself. Tears began to trace down my cheeks.
    “Why does that bother you?”
    “Because they think you killed mommy with the freeze.”
    “Who do you think killed mommy with the freeze?”
    “I don’t know?”
    “Did you ever touch the freeze?” “Yes.”
    “Did you touch the freeze after I told you never to touch the freeze by yourself?”
    “No daddy.” She began to raise her head but I held it to my shoulder as my tears drizzled down upon her head.
    “Did you put the freeze in mommy’s wine?”
    Sarah started to cry again, at first with low sobs, and then, after tearing herself away from my grasp, with blubbering whimpers as she tried to contain her emotions, and finally she broke into a balling frenzy with loud incoherent yelps, like those of a cat crying out in the night.
    I held her in front of me grasping her by the shoulders. I looked at her face; at her reddened cheeks; at her still baby-smooth skin. I looked into her eyes and saw a crazy terrified confused mind.
    “Did you pour the freeze into mommy’s wine?” I asked her firmly, doing my best not to shout.
    “I don’t know.” She screamed at me. “Did you put the freeze in mommy’s wine?” I could hear my voice, as if listening to myself from outside of my body. My voice was deep and low and threatening.
    “No! No!” She screamed, “I didn’t touch the freeze! I didn’t do it!” she sniffled, drawing a stream of runny snot up into her nostrils. “I didn’t put the freeze into mommy’s wine! I didn’t do it!” she was shaking her head violently from side to side.
    I pulled her to my chest and I hugged her as hard as I could. “I know you didn’t baby. I know you didn’t!”
    “I didn’t do it daddy!”
    “I