there’s any blame, it’s yours, not mine.”
“Where’s that heirloom sterling silver you had?” Nan ignored Mom’s too-close-to-the-bone barb.
“Where do you think? Sold for the money to pay the lawyers for your husband and your son.”
Nan shot Mom a look that would have scorched another woman, spun, and saw Tori and me trying to sneak upstairs to our bedroom. “Go get my suitcases. Now. Put them in the blue room.”
“But Nan,” Tori began. She and I each had our own rooms, but Mom had put us together in the blue room to open up a room for Nan. We were given that one because it was the larger.
“But Nan nothing. The blue room!”
I was lugging the last suitcase up the stairs, trying to figure out how Tori and I were going to get all our stuff in the yellow room, when Eddie appeared. I dropped the suitcase right where it was and ran to him.
“We’ve got to get out of here!” I was a mass of nerves, and all I could think about was how much worse it was going to be when they found out about the baby.
Eddie and I went to a movie, some martial arts thing he thoughtwas wonderful and during which I fell asleep. Then we went to our usual parking spot.
“I’ve got some important news,” I said, uncertain how he’d react but hoping he’d say, “Don’t worry, Libby. We’ll work it out. Everything will be all right.” After all, he had been there for me these past months, his love and affection the only things that got me through.
What I got was anything but sympathy.
“I’m not takin’ responsibility for your mess, Lib.” Eddie looked at me like I’d crawled out from under some rotten log. “You’re a big girl. It’s all yours.” Then he laughed. “And I don’t think I need to worry about anyone coming after me, do I?”
Though I saw him at school, I hadn’t spoken with him since that night, and every sighting was a knife in my young heart.
When the burden of my pregnancy became too heavy to bear alone, I finally told Tori. She looked at me with interest, an eyebrow raised. “Eddie Mancini, huh?”
And suddenly she was dating him. A couple of times he even came to the house as if he had no previous history here. I hid in our room and cried the evening away, feigning sleep when Tori finally got home.
Soon everyone at school knew about my predicament, and I was sure they all had a good laugh at my expense. Dumb Libby. Hadn’t she ever heard of the pill? Or a condom? Stupid Libby, whose father and grandfather were in jail. Idiot girl.
Well, they were right; I was dumb. Stupid. Add naive and blind and too trusting.
I was trying to get up the nerve to have an abortion. Mom and Nan sat around all day crying when they weren’t fighting, the blinds closed and the phones off their hooks. No one knew when and if Dad and Pop would be home again; jail was not a healthy place forcops, corrupt or not. No one knew where the money to live and pay the exorbitant, ongoing legal bills was going to come from. And no one knew what emotional ramifications the shame of everything would have on all of us.
There was no way I could bring a baby into such a mess.
I was sitting on the front porch, thinking about an abortion, when Madge pulled into her drive, her pickup loaded as usual. I watched her lug off a mirror as big as she was, its frame an ornate but ugly brown. Then came several cardboard boxes of what appeared to be crocheted and lacy linens. Even from a distance I could see they were yellowed and, to my eye, worthless. Who wanted old yellow stuff when you could get new, crispy white stuff in almost any store?
I had to wonder about Madge. What in the world made her love broken and ugly stuff?
She and her husband, Bill, had made their garage into a little store with red and white striped awnings over the windows and a red sign with white letters that read Madge’s Collectibles and Antiques. I actually went inside a couple of times when I was about twelve and the store was new, just to see how
“Where’s that heirloom sterling silver you had?” Nan ignored Mom’s too-close-to-the-bone barb.
“Where do you think? Sold for the money to pay the lawyers for your husband and your son.”
Nan shot Mom a look that would have scorched another woman, spun, and saw Tori and me trying to sneak upstairs to our bedroom. “Go get my suitcases. Now. Put them in the blue room.”
“But Nan,” Tori began. She and I each had our own rooms, but Mom had put us together in the blue room to open up a room for Nan. We were given that one because it was the larger.
“But Nan nothing. The blue room!”
I was lugging the last suitcase up the stairs, trying to figure out how Tori and I were going to get all our stuff in the yellow room, when Eddie appeared. I dropped the suitcase right where it was and ran to him.
“We’ve got to get out of here!” I was a mass of nerves, and all I could think about was how much worse it was going to be when they found out about the baby.
Eddie and I went to a movie, some martial arts thing he thoughtwas wonderful and during which I fell asleep. Then we went to our usual parking spot.
“I’ve got some important news,” I said, uncertain how he’d react but hoping he’d say, “Don’t worry, Libby. We’ll work it out. Everything will be all right.” After all, he had been there for me these past months, his love and affection the only things that got me through.
What I got was anything but sympathy.
“I’m not takin’ responsibility for your mess, Lib.” Eddie looked at me like I’d crawled out from under some rotten log. “You’re a big girl. It’s all yours.” Then he laughed. “And I don’t think I need to worry about anyone coming after me, do I?”
Though I saw him at school, I hadn’t spoken with him since that night, and every sighting was a knife in my young heart.
When the burden of my pregnancy became too heavy to bear alone, I finally told Tori. She looked at me with interest, an eyebrow raised. “Eddie Mancini, huh?”
And suddenly she was dating him. A couple of times he even came to the house as if he had no previous history here. I hid in our room and cried the evening away, feigning sleep when Tori finally got home.
Soon everyone at school knew about my predicament, and I was sure they all had a good laugh at my expense. Dumb Libby. Hadn’t she ever heard of the pill? Or a condom? Stupid Libby, whose father and grandfather were in jail. Idiot girl.
Well, they were right; I was dumb. Stupid. Add naive and blind and too trusting.
I was trying to get up the nerve to have an abortion. Mom and Nan sat around all day crying when they weren’t fighting, the blinds closed and the phones off their hooks. No one knew when and if Dad and Pop would be home again; jail was not a healthy place forcops, corrupt or not. No one knew where the money to live and pay the exorbitant, ongoing legal bills was going to come from. And no one knew what emotional ramifications the shame of everything would have on all of us.
There was no way I could bring a baby into such a mess.
I was sitting on the front porch, thinking about an abortion, when Madge pulled into her drive, her pickup loaded as usual. I watched her lug off a mirror as big as she was, its frame an ornate but ugly brown. Then came several cardboard boxes of what appeared to be crocheted and lacy linens. Even from a distance I could see they were yellowed and, to my eye, worthless. Who wanted old yellow stuff when you could get new, crispy white stuff in almost any store?
I had to wonder about Madge. What in the world made her love broken and ugly stuff?
She and her husband, Bill, had made their garage into a little store with red and white striped awnings over the windows and a red sign with white letters that read Madge’s Collectibles and Antiques. I actually went inside a couple of times when I was about twelve and the store was new, just to see how
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