Read Online Faded Perfection (Beautifully Flawed Book 2) by Cassandra Giovanni - Free Book Online
Authors: Cassandra Giovanni
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squeezing his eyes shut. “I’m sorry. I just–“
I shook my head, cutting him off. “Where’s the bottle?”
Adam took it out of the sink, and I put it in my purse before nodding to the trash can. “You’re going to want to put your head in that and make convincing vomiting noises. You already look like hell.”
“Thanks,” he mumbled, and I raised an eyebrow at him.
“Vomiting noises,” I said as he grabbed the trash can and pulled the half-full garbage bag out of it.
I smirked at him.
“What?” he asked as he dropped it on the floor. “I don’t need to actually be vomiting, do I?”
I shrugged, pursing my lips and he glared at me. “Ready?”
His eyes froze, looking down at the empty garbage can in his hands as he licked his lips. “I thought so.”
I squeezed his elbow as I opened the door. A part of me understood. Another part of me was screaming. I was already used to telling it to shut up, though.
Chapter 12
I wished I could sleep but I couldn’t. The first few weeks after Bobby left us sleep was the only reprieve from the darkness hanging over me. It had alluded me since I went back to work, though. My mind never seemed to shut off, and if I did fall asleep, I wasn’t able to rest. My dreams were horrible images. I squeezed my eyes shut and my mouth watered with the urge to gag. I planned on working instead of sleeping, but my whole body hurt and I couldn’t stop thinking.
Thinking.
Thinking.
Adam’s not going to get better. Work is going to make this worse.
I rubbed my eyes again as I tilted my head back and let my inhales come one at a time. I felt the eyes on me but stayed the way I was.
“I know you’re not sleeping, River,” Adam said, and his voice sounded raw from his slumber. I listened to his footsteps, counting them and knowing when he would arrive in front of me. “You never sleep anymore.”
I opened my eyes and stared up at him. Behind his frame, I could see the clock on the wall. Three AM.
He was right. I didn’t sleep anymore.
I was a virtual zombie.
And he was a drunk.
I wondered what Bobby would think of the monsters we became in the days following his death.
Forty-five days.
Ten hours.
Five minutes.
Thirty seconds.
“So,” I said, my throat parched.
Adam shook his head before going into the kitchen. I didn’t move as I listened to the sound of the fridge opening, and a bottle unscrewing. My lip trembled as I fought the tears. I counted his steps, expecting them to go to the bedroom and jerked forward as they stopped in front of me again. I looked at the bottle of water he held out to me, and he widened his red eyes expectantly.
“Come on, Riv. I can tell you’re dehydrated. Your lips are cracked.”
“No,” I began, but as I did, I felt the skin tear and blood trickle down the middle of my lip. Adam sat down next to me, handing me the bottle before letting his hand settle on my thigh. I took a sip, licking my lips with the dampness from my mouth. “Thank you.”
He nodded, pinching the bridge of his nose as he opened his mouth, but no words came out. After a moment, he spoke, “Listen, about yesterday.”
“It’s fine, Adam. I know this is hard on you. I know how hard it was for me to go back to work. I imagine it was worse for you,” I said, looking over at him.
He shook his head, leaning on his arms as he looked over at me. His chest rose as he continued. “We need to talk about it, River– or at least I do.” I nodded, and he continued. “I’m not going to make an excuse for my actions, River…” his voice faded, and he sunk back into the couch. “I’m sorry if you feel like you’re fighting this alone.”
I took another sip of the water, holding the liquid in my mouth before swallowing. I looked ahead before draining the bottle and staring at the empty plastic in my hands. I hadn’t said it. I hadn’t even allowed myself to feel it, but suddenly that emotion crashed into me, and I found myself squeezing my eyes
I shook my head, cutting him off. “Where’s the bottle?”
Adam took it out of the sink, and I put it in my purse before nodding to the trash can. “You’re going to want to put your head in that and make convincing vomiting noises. You already look like hell.”
“Thanks,” he mumbled, and I raised an eyebrow at him.
“Vomiting noises,” I said as he grabbed the trash can and pulled the half-full garbage bag out of it.
I smirked at him.
“What?” he asked as he dropped it on the floor. “I don’t need to actually be vomiting, do I?”
I shrugged, pursing my lips and he glared at me. “Ready?”
His eyes froze, looking down at the empty garbage can in his hands as he licked his lips. “I thought so.”
I squeezed his elbow as I opened the door. A part of me understood. Another part of me was screaming. I was already used to telling it to shut up, though.
Chapter 12
I wished I could sleep but I couldn’t. The first few weeks after Bobby left us sleep was the only reprieve from the darkness hanging over me. It had alluded me since I went back to work, though. My mind never seemed to shut off, and if I did fall asleep, I wasn’t able to rest. My dreams were horrible images. I squeezed my eyes shut and my mouth watered with the urge to gag. I planned on working instead of sleeping, but my whole body hurt and I couldn’t stop thinking.
Thinking.
Thinking.
Adam’s not going to get better. Work is going to make this worse.
I rubbed my eyes again as I tilted my head back and let my inhales come one at a time. I felt the eyes on me but stayed the way I was.
“I know you’re not sleeping, River,” Adam said, and his voice sounded raw from his slumber. I listened to his footsteps, counting them and knowing when he would arrive in front of me. “You never sleep anymore.”
I opened my eyes and stared up at him. Behind his frame, I could see the clock on the wall. Three AM.
He was right. I didn’t sleep anymore.
I was a virtual zombie.
And he was a drunk.
I wondered what Bobby would think of the monsters we became in the days following his death.
Forty-five days.
Ten hours.
Five minutes.
Thirty seconds.
“So,” I said, my throat parched.
Adam shook his head before going into the kitchen. I didn’t move as I listened to the sound of the fridge opening, and a bottle unscrewing. My lip trembled as I fought the tears. I counted his steps, expecting them to go to the bedroom and jerked forward as they stopped in front of me again. I looked at the bottle of water he held out to me, and he widened his red eyes expectantly.
“Come on, Riv. I can tell you’re dehydrated. Your lips are cracked.”
“No,” I began, but as I did, I felt the skin tear and blood trickle down the middle of my lip. Adam sat down next to me, handing me the bottle before letting his hand settle on my thigh. I took a sip, licking my lips with the dampness from my mouth. “Thank you.”
He nodded, pinching the bridge of his nose as he opened his mouth, but no words came out. After a moment, he spoke, “Listen, about yesterday.”
“It’s fine, Adam. I know this is hard on you. I know how hard it was for me to go back to work. I imagine it was worse for you,” I said, looking over at him.
He shook his head, leaning on his arms as he looked over at me. His chest rose as he continued. “We need to talk about it, River– or at least I do.” I nodded, and he continued. “I’m not going to make an excuse for my actions, River…” his voice faded, and he sunk back into the couch. “I’m sorry if you feel like you’re fighting this alone.”
I took another sip of the water, holding the liquid in my mouth before swallowing. I looked ahead before draining the bottle and staring at the empty plastic in my hands. I hadn’t said it. I hadn’t even allowed myself to feel it, but suddenly that emotion crashed into me, and I found myself squeezing my eyes
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