Read Online Almost Broken by Portia Moore - Free Book Online

and she grabs my shoulder. “Almost broken.” I roll my eyes at her and get up to put on my gym shoes.
    “You’re not broken yet. I can see it in your eyes. I know you, Lauren. You haven’t given up hope.”
    “What’s so bad about me having a little hope, Raven? Is it such a bad thing?” I ask her, but I know the answer to that. I just wish someone could make me feel a little better about it. Raven lets out a deep sigh, and I know she’s not going to be the one to do it.
    Angela. I should have told Angela first.
    “Honey. You’ve been through so much with Cal…this man. He’s put you through so much,” she says solemnly, but maybe it’s better if she yells. Anything’s better than her somberness. It makes me feel pathetic
    “You know, I was a big supporter of the two of you, but he’s damaged goods. He’s in love with another woman.” First knife through my heart. “You’ve given him the ok to move on.” Second knife. “You say that he isn’t Cal and if that’s true, he doesn’t love you that way.” Screw the knife. She’s ripped out my heart and is stomping on it.
    She takes my hand like it will make her words hurt less. I bite my lip, I refuse to cry. This is stuff I already know and I’ve told myself a thousand times. “I don’t want to see you get hurt any more. You need to let him go,” she says, stressing the last part.
    Let him go.
    She’s not the first to say it. It’s not like I haven’t thought about it. She’s right about every single thing she’s said. I just wish it was as easy to do as other people think it is.
    “You said Chris wants to be a part of her life, and honey, that’s great. But just because he’s going to be a big part of Caylen’s life doesn’t mean he has to be a big part of yours.”
    I take my hand away from her.
    “Have you both talked about the status of your marriage, getting a di—”
    I cut her off when I shoot her a warning glare.
    “Please, can you just stop?!” I plead with her and let out a deep breath. She never knows when to let up. She keeps going and going and each statement feels like a brick being put on my chest.
    “I want what’s best for you, Lauren. You deserve to be happy,” she says quietly before picking up Caylen and leaving the room. I throw myself onto the bed. I was heading to the gym, but now I feel like just crawling under the covers and sleeping the day away but I won’t. I might as well get prepared for this. I told Raven first about going to Madison so that Caylen can spend time with the Scotts and her dad. I still have two other people to tell. I’m so tired of defending myself and my decisions about my child to people. At the end of the day, any decision I make, I’m going to have to deal with the fallout.
    Well, that’s not completely true. If I really do end up broken they’ll have to deal with the fallout of that.
    I push myself up from the bed and head into the living room. Raven’s sitting on the sofa reading a book while Caylen’s on the floor playing with her toys. I steal a quick kiss from her and before I leave out the door I double back and kiss Raven on the cheek. She looks at me surprised. “I love you. I understand that you only want what’s best for me.” She smiles warmly at me and squeezes my shoulder.
    “I’ll only be about an hour,” I say as I head out of the door.
    HHH
    After the gym, a long shower, and Chinese food, Raven and Caylen are both asleep. It’s only 7:45 p.m. I think what we ordered attributed to Raven’s early nap. Caylen is usually asleep about this time. I clean up the last of her toys scattered around the floor, and my heart skips a beat when I hear my phone buzz. It’s my favorite ringtone.
    His ringtone.
    I quickly finish putting Caylen’s toys in the bin and turn off the television. I grab my phone, head to my room, and flop on my bed. I don’t look at it until I’m good and comfortable.
    How are you guys?
    It’s very wrong that his texts are something I