me, and for one horrible moment I think she is going to try and stroke my cheek. But the hand withdraws to settle on her own face, where her fingers press at the skin around her new mouth. She starts to lower herself down next to me on the bed, a task in itself. Slowly, slowly, until the thigh muscles surrender and her rear end hits the duvet.
“Oooph”
I wait for the aftershocks in the mattress to subside. She turns to me.
“Tell me that wasn’t a Smile Blocker.”
I give her the full effect.
“Did you notice it when you first came in?”
“Hard to say, exactly. It’s not the first time you’ve tightened your mouth at me, is it?” Mum peers suspiciously at each feature in turn. “Tell me you can still smile. Please.”
I shut my eyes, shut out Mum and think of Dollar. It’s hard, the dimple flickers but Mum is close enough to catch it.
“Oh God, there’s more!” she says. “Where on earth did you get that face from?
“It’s Maverick.”
“Not by Ultiface then, I take it?”
“ Nanoperfect.”
“ Nano perfect !” she spits the word. “How ironic! When you’ve gone and messed up your happy and your angry faces in one fell swoop. What an Update. What a product.”
“You used to experiment at my age. You told me.”
“Not like this! Oh True, I loved your last face! You and Seven were such a nice, neat pair. Did something happen?”
I turn away to look out the window.
“Maybe I got bored of nice.”
Mum heaves a huge sigh, I’m hoping it’s of resignation. I look back to search her new features, and notice the dark circles beneath her fluttery eyes. Maybe, just maybe, I am going to win. Mum’s chin draws inwards, like there’s something else she wants to say. She can’t resist reaching out to straighten the nearest cushion. (That grates; my mess is mine, it helps me to relax.)
“I actually came up here to talk to you about Dad.” She takes my hard, no-comment face as permission to continue. “I saw him yesterday. He came up to me at the supermarket.”
“And?”
“He mentioned you haven’t returned any of his messages.”
“What did he say, exactly?”
Mum’s upper body defla tes onto the bump, cutting off her sigh.
“He asked about me, how I was. That didn’t go down well, as you can imagine. I strode off. Well, waddled really. He’s desperate to keep in contact with you, asked if I’d talked to you about the baby. Then he offered to carry my bag.”
“Hah.”
My Smile Blocker tugs, it feels right. Mum flinches and my face feels even better.
“I told him I married more than just a bag carrier.” she says
“What did he say to that?”
“He did his hurt look.”
“He’s pathetic.”
“Granted, this is not his finest hour. But he is still your Dad.”
“He left, that’s not being a Dad. It’s just a word. Vocabulary Unrecognised.”
“He moved out because of me, because of things between us. He loves you, you do know that don’t you?”
“Why are you sticking up for him? I thought you hated his guts.”
Mum’s olive eyes are in retre at but it’s not her I’m attacking.
“It’s complicated.” Mum says
“Stay or go. Sounds simple to me.”
Mum clutches at her bump, my sibling. It plainly isn’t going anywhere.
“You should probably listen to his side of things.”
“I’m not talking to him. Ever . You don’t get to walk out, and still have nice little catch-up chats.”
Clouds stuck outside my
“Oooph”
I wait for the aftershocks in the mattress to subside. She turns to me.
“Tell me that wasn’t a Smile Blocker.”
I give her the full effect.
“Did you notice it when you first came in?”
“Hard to say, exactly. It’s not the first time you’ve tightened your mouth at me, is it?” Mum peers suspiciously at each feature in turn. “Tell me you can still smile. Please.”
I shut my eyes, shut out Mum and think of Dollar. It’s hard, the dimple flickers but Mum is close enough to catch it.
“Oh God, there’s more!” she says. “Where on earth did you get that face from?
“It’s Maverick.”
“Not by Ultiface then, I take it?”
“ Nanoperfect.”
“ Nano perfect !” she spits the word. “How ironic! When you’ve gone and messed up your happy and your angry faces in one fell swoop. What an Update. What a product.”
“You used to experiment at my age. You told me.”
“Not like this! Oh True, I loved your last face! You and Seven were such a nice, neat pair. Did something happen?”
I turn away to look out the window.
“Maybe I got bored of nice.”
Mum heaves a huge sigh, I’m hoping it’s of resignation. I look back to search her new features, and notice the dark circles beneath her fluttery eyes. Maybe, just maybe, I am going to win. Mum’s chin draws inwards, like there’s something else she wants to say. She can’t resist reaching out to straighten the nearest cushion. (That grates; my mess is mine, it helps me to relax.)
“I actually came up here to talk to you about Dad.” She takes my hard, no-comment face as permission to continue. “I saw him yesterday. He came up to me at the supermarket.”
“And?”
“He mentioned you haven’t returned any of his messages.”
“What did he say, exactly?”
Mum’s upper body defla tes onto the bump, cutting off her sigh.
“He asked about me, how I was. That didn’t go down well, as you can imagine. I strode off. Well, waddled really. He’s desperate to keep in contact with you, asked if I’d talked to you about the baby. Then he offered to carry my bag.”
“Hah.”
My Smile Blocker tugs, it feels right. Mum flinches and my face feels even better.
“I told him I married more than just a bag carrier.” she says
“What did he say to that?”
“He did his hurt look.”
“He’s pathetic.”
“Granted, this is not his finest hour. But he is still your Dad.”
“He left, that’s not being a Dad. It’s just a word. Vocabulary Unrecognised.”
“He moved out because of me, because of things between us. He loves you, you do know that don’t you?”
“Why are you sticking up for him? I thought you hated his guts.”
Mum’s olive eyes are in retre at but it’s not her I’m attacking.
“It’s complicated.” Mum says
“Stay or go. Sounds simple to me.”
Mum clutches at her bump, my sibling. It plainly isn’t going anywhere.
“You should probably listen to his side of things.”
“I’m not talking to him. Ever . You don’t get to walk out, and still have nice little catch-up chats.”
Clouds stuck outside my
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