Read Online Everything’s Coming Up Josey by Susan May Warren - Free Book Online
Authors: Susan May Warren
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refrigeration to the Indians in South America? Maybe itâs like that.â
Harrison Ford and River Phoenix. I always loved that movie. But I admit to thinking the Harrison character was downright nutso, even from the beginning. âNo, I donât think that is it,â I say quickly. Then I slow my words, roll the thought around in my brain. âI think it is somethingâ¦more. Itâs deeper. In your gut. Or your soul. Something that you canât dodge. Something that you must do or you wonât be able to breathe or look at yourself in the mirror. Something youâd regret forever if you ignore it. Maybe even something youâve been thinking about all your life.â
Sheâs silent.
I have the weird sense Iâve answered my own question. Do I have this feeling? I close my eyes and feel around inside, checking every corner of my soul. No burning, but I do feel a simmer. Something alive.
âIâll call you back when I know,â I say, all at once eager to explore this discovery.
âIf you donât have one, will you be rejected?â
Rejected? Oh, ouch. They wouldnât, they couldnâtâ¦rejected? Who gets rejected as a missionary? âI gotta go, Jas. Iâll call you later.â
I lay there a long time, staring at the ceiling, testing out the feeling in my chest. Yes, definitely something. But is it a calling? A passion to serve?
Iâm suddenly struck with the idea that this trip is about more than a change of pace. More than doing a cool and exotic thing for a year. Itâs not about architecture, or culture, or even cafés. Itâs not even about forgetting Chase.
Itâs aboutâ¦eternal significance.
The feeling in my chest grows and I am suddenly on my knees. I havenât spent a lot of time there since Jasmineâs wedding, but maybe thatâs about to change. I bow my head, and in a voice that seems much smaller than Iâve ever heard it, I say, âLord, I admit that I donât know what Iâm getting myself into, but if You want me to go, I will.â Wow, that feels freeing. And the warmth inside starts to sizzle. So, just to get a fix on exactly what this meansâ¦
âHowever, if You do want me to go, would You give me a calling? Something really loud and plain, too, because Iâm not very good at listening.â I take a deep breath, knowing there is more inside that needs to flush out if I want to do this missionary thing right. âAnd, while Iâm down here, I might as well add that Iâm sorry for being so angry at Chase. If he wants Buffy, well, just help me not to freak out. Help me to be happy for him. And most of all, Lord, do what it takes in his life to show him he needs You. Thanks and Amen.â
I feel better. Lots better. I get off my knees and for the first time in over a month my chest doesnât ache. In fact, I feel good. Energetic. Thin!
I stroll down the hall to the unused bedroom where the gang is gathered watching Bride. Only, the movie is off and instead theyâre watching a documentary about Russia. I lower myself to the floor and am sucked into the story of believers suffering for the sake of the gospel, of new Christians finding hope and peace. Of families restored, communities changed.
My old-time missionary stories in rich Technicolor and Dolby sound.
The simmer inside me bursts to full boil. And with a gasp I realize that I do have a calling! I do! In fact, Iâve had it since childhood. Only now, Iâm finally listening.
For we are Godâs workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
I canât wait to tell Dwight.
Chapter Four:
Goingâ¦goingâ¦
July 23rd
Dear Chase,
Howâs Montana? Youâre probably wondering why Iâm writing. I mean, itâs not like weâve spent a lot of time in correspondence, but I can write, you know, since Iâm a writer by trade, and well,
Harrison Ford and River Phoenix. I always loved that movie. But I admit to thinking the Harrison character was downright nutso, even from the beginning. âNo, I donât think that is it,â I say quickly. Then I slow my words, roll the thought around in my brain. âI think it is somethingâ¦more. Itâs deeper. In your gut. Or your soul. Something that you canât dodge. Something that you must do or you wonât be able to breathe or look at yourself in the mirror. Something youâd regret forever if you ignore it. Maybe even something youâve been thinking about all your life.â
Sheâs silent.
I have the weird sense Iâve answered my own question. Do I have this feeling? I close my eyes and feel around inside, checking every corner of my soul. No burning, but I do feel a simmer. Something alive.
âIâll call you back when I know,â I say, all at once eager to explore this discovery.
âIf you donât have one, will you be rejected?â
Rejected? Oh, ouch. They wouldnât, they couldnâtâ¦rejected? Who gets rejected as a missionary? âI gotta go, Jas. Iâll call you later.â
I lay there a long time, staring at the ceiling, testing out the feeling in my chest. Yes, definitely something. But is it a calling? A passion to serve?
Iâm suddenly struck with the idea that this trip is about more than a change of pace. More than doing a cool and exotic thing for a year. Itâs not about architecture, or culture, or even cafés. Itâs not even about forgetting Chase.
Itâs aboutâ¦eternal significance.
The feeling in my chest grows and I am suddenly on my knees. I havenât spent a lot of time there since Jasmineâs wedding, but maybe thatâs about to change. I bow my head, and in a voice that seems much smaller than Iâve ever heard it, I say, âLord, I admit that I donât know what Iâm getting myself into, but if You want me to go, I will.â Wow, that feels freeing. And the warmth inside starts to sizzle. So, just to get a fix on exactly what this meansâ¦
âHowever, if You do want me to go, would You give me a calling? Something really loud and plain, too, because Iâm not very good at listening.â I take a deep breath, knowing there is more inside that needs to flush out if I want to do this missionary thing right. âAnd, while Iâm down here, I might as well add that Iâm sorry for being so angry at Chase. If he wants Buffy, well, just help me not to freak out. Help me to be happy for him. And most of all, Lord, do what it takes in his life to show him he needs You. Thanks and Amen.â
I feel better. Lots better. I get off my knees and for the first time in over a month my chest doesnât ache. In fact, I feel good. Energetic. Thin!
I stroll down the hall to the unused bedroom where the gang is gathered watching Bride. Only, the movie is off and instead theyâre watching a documentary about Russia. I lower myself to the floor and am sucked into the story of believers suffering for the sake of the gospel, of new Christians finding hope and peace. Of families restored, communities changed.
My old-time missionary stories in rich Technicolor and Dolby sound.
The simmer inside me bursts to full boil. And with a gasp I realize that I do have a calling! I do! In fact, Iâve had it since childhood. Only now, Iâm finally listening.
For we are Godâs workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
I canât wait to tell Dwight.
Chapter Four:
Goingâ¦goingâ¦
July 23rd
Dear Chase,
Howâs Montana? Youâre probably wondering why Iâm writing. I mean, itâs not like weâve spent a lot of time in correspondence, but I can write, you know, since Iâm a writer by trade, and well,
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