Read Online Everything I Need to Know I Learned from Dungeons & Dragons by Shelly Mazzanoble - Free Book Online Page A

about being nice to people and telling meanies to suck it. Today was to be all about sunshine and laughter, which sort of contradicted the vile and hostile mood I woke up in. Love and light. That’s my stupid motto. If I had more time I’d make up little posters with pictures of baby animals on them. Sunshine is the kitty. Laughter is the fuzzy baby chick. They walk side by side through a forest. I gag a little at the thought. Baby steps …
    Oh, sure, I had a lot planned for this day. I fancied myself a bit like Underdog, transforming from a seemingly spiritual inane skeptic into apatron saint of the underprivileged. And when I was done pulling bullies off of scrawny classmates and helping the elderly across streets, I’d throw a massive outdoor block party where the mead and puff pastry pizzas flow like the good intentions that run through my veins.
    â€œNo, we cannot have a party,” Laura answered when I told her my awesome plan. “Besides, it’s horrible outside. No one wants to celebrate
love and light
when there are flash flood warnings.”
    â€œParty pooper,” I said. “Or rather, Pelor Pooper. Remind me to bring some light to your dark little corner of the world.”
    She laughed. “When is this experiment over? I sort of miss your cynicism and somewhat questionable ways.”
    â€œPassing gas in a sweaty yoga studio is pretty questionable,” Chris said, not looking up from his spreadsheet.
    â€œAllegedly!” I shouted. I’ve told that story to so many people I’m starting to believe Becky’s big, fat, flatulent lie.
    My first instinct was to throw a stack of Post-it Notes at Chris. And then rid my desk of the rest of its contents in that armsweeping, overdramatized gesture soap opera characters do. Granted, they usually do this when they’re about to conduct some hanky-panky on said desk, but still. I bet it would feel good. (The arm sweeping gesture, people. Out of the gutter, please.) I guess Becky and the yoga class still had me all riled up, which is a Major Yoga Fail, if you ask me.
    But I took a moment to get centered and managed not to throw anything at Chris other than a sideways glance.
    â€œYou’re funny,” he said. “I know you want to hit me right now.”
    â€œAw, come on,” Laura said, “don’t get mad and blow a gasket. Emphasis on the
gas.
”
    Okay, okay, that was pretty funny, but by the power of Pelor, I won’t crack my façade with a smile. I just want to be angry and sullen today! Can’t a girl get a little down-in-the-dumps time around here? Then I remembered (again) today was supposed to be a day of love and laughter, so technically Pelor would want me to make someone feel good by laughing at their joke. Even if it was at my expense. Oh, Pelor …
    So I laughed and then Chris and Laura did and the next thing I know we’re caught in that nexus of contagious laughter where you kind of forgot what set you off and are now just laughing at how hard each other is laughing. We laughed so hard my ribs hurt and we all had tears coursing down our cheeks. Our department assistant came over to make sure we were okay. We told her the story and sure enough, she was indoctrinated in our little comedy club.
    â€œI’m going to pee my pants!” she said. “Stop!”
    â€œWell, feel free to blame me for that, too,” I said.
    I mean, who cares, right? I’ll probably never see Becky again, but just in case, I’ll be sure to carry a whoopee cushion in my purse at all times.
    But maybe I should give her some credit. If not for her flatulent lies I never would have almost gotten mad at Chris, then remembered my pledge to Pelor, and discovered that laughing in the face of adversity is actually more fun than sulking about it. That realization buoyed me all day. I had a spring in my step and dare I say a “sunny” disposition? Nah, too cheesy. But I was