Read Online Everything I Have (Everything I Want #3) by Natalie Barnes - Free Book Online

many things I can’t control when it’s about her.
    Everything about her right now looks at peace. Maybe I’ve never noticed before, which is hard to imagine because this woman has been in my fucking brain non-stop for over two years now. My eyes roam over every fine feature on her face, trying to figure out if she might have done something different. She didn’t change anything that I can tell. Still so fucking beautiful.
    Using the back of my other hand, I gently run my knuckles down her arm. She stirs in her sleep for a moment, but then relaxes again as I do eights on her upper arm. I place a kiss on her shoulder.
    “I love you, Sophia,” I whisper against her warm skin.
    Sophia still lies there on her side with her eyes closed, then exhales slowly.
    “I love you,” she says, her voice weak.
    Closing my eyes, I moan against her skin.
    “I’m never letting you go.”
    I brush away a few of the strands of hair resting on her shoulder. Her body shivers, either at my touch on her or maybe the fucking words I said. I don’t know. A faded laugh creeps out her throat, almost not sounding like her at all.
    “Never say never, Tristan.”
    What the…?
    Moving my hand up to her face, I use my index finger to trace her lips.
    “What the fuck does that mean?” I ask her calmly.
    We just fucked and I really don’t feel like getting riled up. I just want to know why she fucking thinks that. Nothing, I mean fucking nothing she can do or say will make me want to let her go. Nothing… 
     
     
     
     
     

Chapter Six
     
    Sophia
     
    “All right, fuckers! Pack the bowls and roll the fucking blunts, because it’s movie night!” Roger laughs as he pulls out a couple grams of Alaskan Thunder Fuck, breaking it up on the black coffee table.
    Jeff is sitting next to him, filling his bowl. Jared is sitting across from me at the table in the corner while Matt is laid out on the floor with pillows sprawled out around him. I smile at him because the sight reminds me of a time when shit was so much simpler.
    It’s been a week since I found out. A whole fucking week that has felt more like a month, feeling guilty every damn day that I haven't told Tristan about it. I hate that Frankie gives me this look like, “You can’t hide this forever” every time Tristan is around. Well, no shit! That and trying to hide the fact from my boys, too. Gawd!
    After Tampa, I pretended okay. I lied that I went and saw Susan, one of the standby physician assistants that hangs with us on tour. I told everyone, even Tristan, that I had a really bad ear infection and couldn’t drink or have sex for ten days.
    Okay, why the no sex? It’s not like I don’t fucking want it. Gawd! I have never wanted Tristan’s cock so much in my entire life as I do right fucking now, but I have to keep up with my lying ass. And everyone knows that antibiotics and birth control don’t mix. Neither does Tristan’s sperm and birth control, for that matter. Shit.
    Anyways, since I couldn’t drink, I told my boys that the ear infection has my throat so raw, even smoking sucks. Roger looked as if someone took a shit right in front of him when I told him the news.
    The first few days were an emotional roller coaster. I pretty much went numb those days, but after that...that’s when it hit. The realization that everything I used to do, I suddenly can’t do anymore, is starting to take effect on me.
    For instance, pot. Love it, can’t smoke now. Another one, booze. Great stuff. I’m even scared to really give ’er on stage now thinking I might fuck up something. I’m a constant wreck and I can’t have anything to calm me down, either. It really is starting to show in my moods, I think. That and the fact that my breasts hurt like nothing I can describe. Even when I wear a bra, the material rubbing against my nipples is uncomfortable.
    Oh, and I’m tired as fuck all the damn time now, too. That, at least, works in my favor. It goes with me and the infection thing.