all.
“Great,” he said, his voice perking up.Then he proceeded to tell me, in lavish detail, all about it. Playing touch football with his cousins in the legendary acre lot his parents lived on (legendary to me, who had never actually seen it); holding his sister Kate’s baby; meeting his other sister Kayla’s boyfriend. All the children in Kirk’s family had first names beginning with K. His mother’s idea, according to Kirk. I wonder if she realized that she had created KKK with her alliteratively named progeny? The funny thing was, Kate had married a guy named Kenneth, and their new baby’s name was—guess what?—Kim-berly. I wondered now if the other sister had managed to line up a K-man with this new boyfriend. Hey, wait a second. New boyfriend? Kayla’s new boyfriend was there?
“Um…how long has your sister been seeing this guy?” I asked, hoping “new” boyfriend meant new to Kirk but practically married to Kayla. After all, that was the only reason I could drum up why Karl, Kasper, Kirby, or whatever the hell his name was, had been invited and I hadn’t.
“I dunno. Couple of months?”
Couple of months? Remain cool, remain calm.
“Seems like a nice enough guy, but who knows? Kayla goes through guys like they’re going out of style.”
Remain cool, remain calm. Get the facts. “So, um, does anyone ever ask about your girlfriend, sweetie?” I knew it sounded like I was fishing, but there was no other way to do this. I had to know.
“Oh, yeah. My mother’s always harping on that subject, ever since Susan and I broke up. She always liked Susan…”
Liked Susan…
“But I learned my lesson that time around. Telling my family about stuff like that is like feeding hungry piranhas. They don’t let up.”
“Stuff like what?”
“You know, who I’m dating, whatever.”
Whatever. “Kirk, do you mean to tell me that after almost two years, your parents don’t know I exist?”
“Oh, they know I’m dating someone. But that’s all their getting outta me. Besides, they know I’m intent on getting my business off the ground…”
“Excuse me, Kirk. Someone? You’re dating someone?”
Silence on the other end. The dumb lug probably just realized he’d stepped on a land mine with his blithe comments.
Finally he said, “You know what I mean, Ange. Didn’t you tell me the less your mother knew about your daily life, the better?”
“I was talking about stuff like what I ate, how late I stayed out. Not the person I’m contemplating marrying!”
A new silence descended, this one a bit more harrowing. But no worse than the sigh that finally emerged, the words that followed. “Ange, you know how I feel about that…”
I did?
“My whole focus now is on building my business. I thought you understood. I thought…”
But I was no longer listening. I was tired of what he thought. It was just so…unromantic. I wanted to be caught up in a passion. I wanted a man to want me so badly it hurt to imagine life without me. And I wanted it with Kirk. Was that so much to ask for?
That’s how it happened. I suddenly found myself putting step one of Michelle’s engagement scheme into action. I don’t know why I succumbed. Maybe it was the fact of my absence (both literal and figurative) from Kirk’s big family weekend. Maybe it was the blase tone Kirk used when he said before hanging up, “Hey, when you come over tomorrow night, could you bring my U2 CD?”
See? This is where we’re at. We don’t even ask each other out anymore. It’s all assumed.
Naturally, I had to start shaking up some of those assumptions. “Uh…actually, tomorrow night I’m meeting up with Grace.‘”There! Take that!
“Oh. Okay.Where’re you going?”
Wouldn’t you like to know, I thought, feeling a tad triumphant. Until I remembered /didn’t know where I was going with Grace, who didn’t yet know we were going anywhere. “Shopping.”
“Have fun,” he said, as if I’d said I was having my
“Great,” he said, his voice perking up.Then he proceeded to tell me, in lavish detail, all about it. Playing touch football with his cousins in the legendary acre lot his parents lived on (legendary to me, who had never actually seen it); holding his sister Kate’s baby; meeting his other sister Kayla’s boyfriend. All the children in Kirk’s family had first names beginning with K. His mother’s idea, according to Kirk. I wonder if she realized that she had created KKK with her alliteratively named progeny? The funny thing was, Kate had married a guy named Kenneth, and their new baby’s name was—guess what?—Kim-berly. I wondered now if the other sister had managed to line up a K-man with this new boyfriend. Hey, wait a second. New boyfriend? Kayla’s new boyfriend was there?
“Um…how long has your sister been seeing this guy?” I asked, hoping “new” boyfriend meant new to Kirk but practically married to Kayla. After all, that was the only reason I could drum up why Karl, Kasper, Kirby, or whatever the hell his name was, had been invited and I hadn’t.
“I dunno. Couple of months?”
Couple of months? Remain cool, remain calm.
“Seems like a nice enough guy, but who knows? Kayla goes through guys like they’re going out of style.”
Remain cool, remain calm. Get the facts. “So, um, does anyone ever ask about your girlfriend, sweetie?” I knew it sounded like I was fishing, but there was no other way to do this. I had to know.
“Oh, yeah. My mother’s always harping on that subject, ever since Susan and I broke up. She always liked Susan…”
Liked Susan…
“But I learned my lesson that time around. Telling my family about stuff like that is like feeding hungry piranhas. They don’t let up.”
“Stuff like what?”
“You know, who I’m dating, whatever.”
Whatever. “Kirk, do you mean to tell me that after almost two years, your parents don’t know I exist?”
“Oh, they know I’m dating someone. But that’s all their getting outta me. Besides, they know I’m intent on getting my business off the ground…”
“Excuse me, Kirk. Someone? You’re dating someone?”
Silence on the other end. The dumb lug probably just realized he’d stepped on a land mine with his blithe comments.
Finally he said, “You know what I mean, Ange. Didn’t you tell me the less your mother knew about your daily life, the better?”
“I was talking about stuff like what I ate, how late I stayed out. Not the person I’m contemplating marrying!”
A new silence descended, this one a bit more harrowing. But no worse than the sigh that finally emerged, the words that followed. “Ange, you know how I feel about that…”
I did?
“My whole focus now is on building my business. I thought you understood. I thought…”
But I was no longer listening. I was tired of what he thought. It was just so…unromantic. I wanted to be caught up in a passion. I wanted a man to want me so badly it hurt to imagine life without me. And I wanted it with Kirk. Was that so much to ask for?
That’s how it happened. I suddenly found myself putting step one of Michelle’s engagement scheme into action. I don’t know why I succumbed. Maybe it was the fact of my absence (both literal and figurative) from Kirk’s big family weekend. Maybe it was the blase tone Kirk used when he said before hanging up, “Hey, when you come over tomorrow night, could you bring my U2 CD?”
See? This is where we’re at. We don’t even ask each other out anymore. It’s all assumed.
Naturally, I had to start shaking up some of those assumptions. “Uh…actually, tomorrow night I’m meeting up with Grace.‘”There! Take that!
“Oh. Okay.Where’re you going?”
Wouldn’t you like to know, I thought, feeling a tad triumphant. Until I remembered /didn’t know where I was going with Grace, who didn’t yet know we were going anywhere. “Shopping.”
“Have fun,” he said, as if I’d said I was having my
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