Read Online Emma's Secret: A Novel by Steena Holmes - Free Book Online
Authors: Steena Holmes
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chair. “I have the morning off. Hannah and Alexis are with friends for the day, and Peter took Emma out on a date.”
Jean’s brow rose. “On a workday?”
Megan nodded. “For breakfast and coffee before he heads in to work. He took her to the donut shop down the road. It’ll be good for them. Peter has had a hard time figuring out how to deal with Emma. She’s not the little girl we knew before everything happened.”
Jan leaned forward and placed her elbows on the table. “Of course she’s not. She grew up without your influence in her life.”
Megan shrugged. “Right. Someone else raised her, read her stories at night, and taught her how to bake.” She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and shook her head. There was no sense dwelling on it. She couldn’t change things.
Jan leaned back, her eyes full of pity. “You need to learn to forgive them, honey.”
Megan shook her head. “No, I don’t. What I need to do is learn to let it go and move on. I know that. It’s just hard sometimes.”
Jan snapped her fingers and waited as Shelly Belle trotted over and sat at her feet. “You know, when my other babies died, I wasmad. Mad at God for taking my babies away from me, even though I knew they were old and ready to rest. But that didn’t matter. What I knew in my head and what I felt in my heart were two very different things. I convinced myself that the only person my feelings were affecting was me. But I was wrong.” A low groan came from the floor. “Poor Shelly Belle was affected as well. She’d just lost her family, and instead of being there for her to help her deal with her loss, I took it out on her.” Jan shook her head as a tear welled in her eye. “Oh, I wasn’t mean or anything, but I didn’t show her as much love as I could have.”
Megan broke off bits her muffin and cast her eyes downward, thinking about Jan’s words. “I do love my children.” Her voice lacked conviction, because she understood exactly what Jan was saying.
“No one doubts how much you love your girls. But, honey, you need to learn to love yourself too.”
Megan sighed deeply. “And how do you do that? My girls mean the world to me. They are my everything. How exactly do I put myself first without losing that?”
The bell above the door jingled. Without glancing behind her, Jan stood up and laid her hand on Megan’s shoulder. “Honey, the only babies I ever raised were my pups, so I can’t tell you how to parent. But I can tell you that the first step to loving yourself is learning how to forgive yourself.”
Jack and the boys were the only ones in the donut shop, the place nearly silent. Jack cleared his throat but wasn’t sure what to say.
They were all tired. They’d stayed late at the races, spending a fortune at the slot machines. Doug won a measly hundred dollarson a horse no one expected to win and was convinced his luck had turned. And it had. He walked away winning another hundred at the penny slots. Jack just shook his head as he slapped his friend on the back and told him it was time to go home.
He almost didn’t make it this morning. He’d considered staying home, sleeping in, and puttering around in his garden, but he showed up anyway, knowing that if he didn’t, the boys would come looking for him.
They sat for at least twenty minutes in silence, watching the line of cars and drivers ordering their coffees at the drive-thru window.
Jack thought about what he’d do when he went home. Dottie’s vegetable garden needed tending. Although, what he’d do with all the veggies, he had no idea. Maybe his neighbor Sherri could use some. Ever since the day he’d found Dottie on the floor, Sherri had been there for him. She became his spokeperson when the pesky media parked along the road waiting for him to venture out; she cooked him casseroles and cookies and invited him over for coffee more times than he could count. He knew she felt guilty for her part in Emmie’s…in Emmie going
Jean’s brow rose. “On a workday?”
Megan nodded. “For breakfast and coffee before he heads in to work. He took her to the donut shop down the road. It’ll be good for them. Peter has had a hard time figuring out how to deal with Emma. She’s not the little girl we knew before everything happened.”
Jan leaned forward and placed her elbows on the table. “Of course she’s not. She grew up without your influence in her life.”
Megan shrugged. “Right. Someone else raised her, read her stories at night, and taught her how to bake.” She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and shook her head. There was no sense dwelling on it. She couldn’t change things.
Jan leaned back, her eyes full of pity. “You need to learn to forgive them, honey.”
Megan shook her head. “No, I don’t. What I need to do is learn to let it go and move on. I know that. It’s just hard sometimes.”
Jan snapped her fingers and waited as Shelly Belle trotted over and sat at her feet. “You know, when my other babies died, I wasmad. Mad at God for taking my babies away from me, even though I knew they were old and ready to rest. But that didn’t matter. What I knew in my head and what I felt in my heart were two very different things. I convinced myself that the only person my feelings were affecting was me. But I was wrong.” A low groan came from the floor. “Poor Shelly Belle was affected as well. She’d just lost her family, and instead of being there for her to help her deal with her loss, I took it out on her.” Jan shook her head as a tear welled in her eye. “Oh, I wasn’t mean or anything, but I didn’t show her as much love as I could have.”
Megan broke off bits her muffin and cast her eyes downward, thinking about Jan’s words. “I do love my children.” Her voice lacked conviction, because she understood exactly what Jan was saying.
“No one doubts how much you love your girls. But, honey, you need to learn to love yourself too.”
Megan sighed deeply. “And how do you do that? My girls mean the world to me. They are my everything. How exactly do I put myself first without losing that?”
The bell above the door jingled. Without glancing behind her, Jan stood up and laid her hand on Megan’s shoulder. “Honey, the only babies I ever raised were my pups, so I can’t tell you how to parent. But I can tell you that the first step to loving yourself is learning how to forgive yourself.”
Jack and the boys were the only ones in the donut shop, the place nearly silent. Jack cleared his throat but wasn’t sure what to say.
They were all tired. They’d stayed late at the races, spending a fortune at the slot machines. Doug won a measly hundred dollarson a horse no one expected to win and was convinced his luck had turned. And it had. He walked away winning another hundred at the penny slots. Jack just shook his head as he slapped his friend on the back and told him it was time to go home.
He almost didn’t make it this morning. He’d considered staying home, sleeping in, and puttering around in his garden, but he showed up anyway, knowing that if he didn’t, the boys would come looking for him.
They sat for at least twenty minutes in silence, watching the line of cars and drivers ordering their coffees at the drive-thru window.
Jack thought about what he’d do when he went home. Dottie’s vegetable garden needed tending. Although, what he’d do with all the veggies, he had no idea. Maybe his neighbor Sherri could use some. Ever since the day he’d found Dottie on the floor, Sherri had been there for him. She became his spokeperson when the pesky media parked along the road waiting for him to venture out; she cooked him casseroles and cookies and invited him over for coffee more times than he could count. He knew she felt guilty for her part in Emmie’s…in Emmie going
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