Read Online Eater of Lives(SPECTR #4) by Jordan L. Hawk - Free Book Online Page B

him, catching his hair, brushing across his lips, but it
seems very far away. He has known these things, of course, but only
as a jumble of facts. Something he didn’t have to put into a
coherent shape, because of course John will not be able to exorcise
him. No one ever has; why consider the ramifications?
    Perhaps he is wrong. John might remove him.
Then he will die, because it is John’s duty to see him destroyed.
And even if he is right, and he cannot be removed, John will still
never love him.
    It is terrible in a way he did not know
something could be terrible. Everything inside him is broken, like
the ends of shattered ribs digging through flesh. If only their
ribs were truly fractured; that he could heal. Could fix. Could
escape.
    “No,” he whispers aloud, but he doesn’t know
what he refutes.
    “ I’m sorry.” Some of the pain belongs
to Caleb, more jagged edges which will never really fit back
together the way they once were. “I wish it didn’t have to be
this way.”
    “Yes,” Gray agrees. But the wind carries away
his whisper and drowns it in a sheet of rain.
    * * *
    Caleb sat on the staircase, his head in his
hands, his long hair forming a tangled curtain around him. A couple
of hours spent on the church spire had left him soaked to the bone,
but he couldn’t bring himself to care enough to towel off. Gray’s
presence was like the ache of a tooth, sharp and hurtful and
impossible to ignore.
    God. How had his life come to this? He wished
he could go back in time and stop his past self from going with
Melanie to the old house. They should have just gone to the public
outreach side of SPECTR and raised holy hell until someone looked
into the disappearance of Ben’s body.
    But he’d been unregistered and determined to
stay that way, which meant never drawing SPECTR’s attention. And
Melanie saw all paranormals as the enemy; she wouldn’t have gone to
SPECTR even if Caleb had insisted. Despite everything, he still
couldn’t figure out what he should have done differently. Never
been born in the first place, maybe.
    A knock on the door broke into his reverie.
Lifting his head, he listened for a moment, but the knock wasn’t
repeated. His amped-up senses caught the soft snick of shoes on the
sidewalk outside, but nothing more.
    Probably a mistake, or somebody selling
something. Or a deliveryman with a package. John hadn’t mentioned
anything, but maybe that asshole Will ordered something, Will who
thought he’d come waltzing back to Charleston, and get Sean on his
side, and steal John back…
    Except maybe John couldn’t be stolen, because
he didn’t really belong to Caleb in the first place.
    Gray stirred sluggishly. “John loves
you.”
    Next time Caleb saw Sean, he’d punch him in
his damn mouth. Except Sean thought he was looking out for
John.
    “Fuck this,” Caleb said aloud. Maybe someone
left a package outside; at least it would be a distraction from his
own thoughts. He stood up and went to the front door.
    Nothing sat on the stoop…but a folded sheet
of paper hung taped to the door, with Caleb’s name on it.
    The fuck?
    Caleb’s skin pebbled, and he peered out into
the rain, but didn’t see anybody. Was someone watching the place?
How else would they know he’d come back?
    He shut the door and locked it for good
measure. Unfolding the paper, he let out a sharp hiss of breath as
an image at the bottom caught his eye. It was an illustration of a
moth…the same symbol which marked Brimm’s books, only much
larger.
    Shit. Okay, this could not be good. Tearing
his attention away from the symbol, he read:
     
    Mr. Jansen,
    We are aware of your situation. Be advised,
Special Agent Starkweather does not have the resources necessary to
remove the drakul from your body.
    We do.
    We will assist you, on one condition. The
drakul were summoned to destroy “demons,” i.e. NHEs harmful to
humanity. Unlike SPECTR, we will not keep this one from its
purpose. Once removed from you, the