were to hold us in place. The clock sat at forty seconds.
Max made the call—I snapped, and then threw myself forward. They were desperate to get through to him before he released the ball. I put all my effort into holding them just long enough. That time, he threw a long spiral downfield. Straight into the arms of Nate, Zack’s backup wide receiver.
Anybody who didn’t know better would’ve thought we won the championship all over again, the way we jumped on each other and screamed. It was only a matter of holding the Indiana offense after that, and our defensive line poured on the field after the extra point went through. They were raring to go and made short work of it.
Our first win of the season. It was a high like nothing I could imagine.
I wished I had somebody there to cheer me on.
* * *
“ D ude , what the fuck is wrong with you tonight?” Brad handed me a beer. “You decide you don’t like to drink anymore?”
“No.” I tried to shake off the arm he slung over my shoulders. “I’m just not in the mood to get wasted, is all.”
“Why not? Come on, man. There are tons of girls here, and they want some football cock! We won, bro!”
“I thought you were hooking up with Jenny now,” I reminded him.
“Whatever. She’s probably off fucking one of the basketball players or something. The girl is a freak,” he said, then laughed like it was the funniest thing he ever heard.
“Yeah, you’re telling me,” I said. Like I didn’t know.
“So what’s the problem, bro? Come on. Let’s do some shots.” He tried to steer me in the direction of the kitchen, where a few of my teammates poured rows of shots without stopping. There was always somebody there to drink them.
I realized something as Brad tried to drag me to the kitchen. Parties weren’t as much fun when I didn’t get wasted.
That was depressing. I didn’t want to get plastered because I wanted to be up early enough to get in a quick workout, get some studying out of the way. I had to be serious about my grades. I told myself I could balance partying with studying.
But it wasn’t as much fun when I only had a beer or two. The people I used to think were so much fun were actually kind of stupid when they were drunk, and I was pretty much sober. Even the girls were a little sloppy. They never seemed that way before. Did I actually screw some of them? What the hell?
Right then, I hated my life. I wanted to go back to partying without worrying about studying. Back when I didn’t have to prove myself to anybody. Especially not Claire.
Funny how her opinion mattered more to me than Coach’s did. He could suck my dick, as far as I cared. But Claire was different.
I turned to Brad. “I think I’m going to go upstairs, bro.”
“Oh, you see somebody you like?” Brad looked around the kitchen, trying to pick out the girl he thought I wanted. “The little Asian chick in the corner, maybe?”
“No, man. I mean by myself. I have a lot of shit to do tomorrow, and I have a headache. I’m fucking wiped from the game, too.”
I was alone a minute later. In my room during a party, all alone. Hardly even buzzed.
I sat on the bed, and the vibrations from the music went through the floor, to my feet. The bed even shook a little. It wasn’t usually quiet in my room when I was there during a party, either. I never noticed things like that.
It made me remember being a kid, sitting in my room. Waiting for Mom’s “friend” to leave. She had a lot of friends. They were all men. I wasn’t allowed out of my room when one of them was over. So I’d sit alone. Sometimes I didn’t care. It was a way to read without her yelling at me to go outside and play. How many hours did I spend in that cramped room? I would wait for the laughing and squeaking bedsprings to stop. She thought the music she blasted on her stereo drowned it out, but she was wrong. Then, after maybe twenty minutes, she would knock on my door to let me know it was okay to
Max made the call—I snapped, and then threw myself forward. They were desperate to get through to him before he released the ball. I put all my effort into holding them just long enough. That time, he threw a long spiral downfield. Straight into the arms of Nate, Zack’s backup wide receiver.
Anybody who didn’t know better would’ve thought we won the championship all over again, the way we jumped on each other and screamed. It was only a matter of holding the Indiana offense after that, and our defensive line poured on the field after the extra point went through. They were raring to go and made short work of it.
Our first win of the season. It was a high like nothing I could imagine.
I wished I had somebody there to cheer me on.
* * *
“ D ude , what the fuck is wrong with you tonight?” Brad handed me a beer. “You decide you don’t like to drink anymore?”
“No.” I tried to shake off the arm he slung over my shoulders. “I’m just not in the mood to get wasted, is all.”
“Why not? Come on, man. There are tons of girls here, and they want some football cock! We won, bro!”
“I thought you were hooking up with Jenny now,” I reminded him.
“Whatever. She’s probably off fucking one of the basketball players or something. The girl is a freak,” he said, then laughed like it was the funniest thing he ever heard.
“Yeah, you’re telling me,” I said. Like I didn’t know.
“So what’s the problem, bro? Come on. Let’s do some shots.” He tried to steer me in the direction of the kitchen, where a few of my teammates poured rows of shots without stopping. There was always somebody there to drink them.
I realized something as Brad tried to drag me to the kitchen. Parties weren’t as much fun when I didn’t get wasted.
That was depressing. I didn’t want to get plastered because I wanted to be up early enough to get in a quick workout, get some studying out of the way. I had to be serious about my grades. I told myself I could balance partying with studying.
But it wasn’t as much fun when I only had a beer or two. The people I used to think were so much fun were actually kind of stupid when they were drunk, and I was pretty much sober. Even the girls were a little sloppy. They never seemed that way before. Did I actually screw some of them? What the hell?
Right then, I hated my life. I wanted to go back to partying without worrying about studying. Back when I didn’t have to prove myself to anybody. Especially not Claire.
Funny how her opinion mattered more to me than Coach’s did. He could suck my dick, as far as I cared. But Claire was different.
I turned to Brad. “I think I’m going to go upstairs, bro.”
“Oh, you see somebody you like?” Brad looked around the kitchen, trying to pick out the girl he thought I wanted. “The little Asian chick in the corner, maybe?”
“No, man. I mean by myself. I have a lot of shit to do tomorrow, and I have a headache. I’m fucking wiped from the game, too.”
I was alone a minute later. In my room during a party, all alone. Hardly even buzzed.
I sat on the bed, and the vibrations from the music went through the floor, to my feet. The bed even shook a little. It wasn’t usually quiet in my room when I was there during a party, either. I never noticed things like that.
It made me remember being a kid, sitting in my room. Waiting for Mom’s “friend” to leave. She had a lot of friends. They were all men. I wasn’t allowed out of my room when one of them was over. So I’d sit alone. Sometimes I didn’t care. It was a way to read without her yelling at me to go outside and play. How many hours did I spend in that cramped room? I would wait for the laughing and squeaking bedsprings to stop. She thought the music she blasted on her stereo drowned it out, but she was wrong. Then, after maybe twenty minutes, she would knock on my door to let me know it was okay to
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