at that. I could have let him think it was all his fault. But that wouldn’t have been right.
Instead, I wiped the dirt from my hands. “Do you want to know the reason I got so upset? I guess I should tell you if we’re going to work together this semester so you don’t think I’m this mentally unstable person.”
“Yeah, that'd be great,” he chuckled. “I mean if you want to. If it’ll make this whole process easier.”
I turned to walk towards my dorm, more slowly this time. Jake fell into step beside me.
“When I was in high school, I was pretty much the person I am now. A nerd. I got straight A’s, never missed a day of school. I didn’t have much of life. The head of the football program asked me to tutor the quarterback of the football team. He was failing out of school, practically.”
“Sounds familiar.”
“Right? When my advisor first told me I’d be tutoring you, I almost died.”
“I guess it didn’t go so well.”
I sighed and looked away. “No. I did my best for him, but he only wanted one thing. He wanted me to help him cheat. He thought if he got me to fall for him, I would go along with it.”
“You didn’t, did you?”
I looked up at him, walking beside me. “What do you think?”
“You have more integrity than that.”
I chuckled. “Thanks. You’re right, too. I told him to fuck himself.” I went silent.
He cleared his throat. “So, that’s the reason you hate me? I remind you of him?”
“I don’t hate you,” I said sharply. “I hate myself. Because it wasn’t that simple. But I don’t want to talk about that. It hurt a lot. That’s all you need to know.”
“Hey.” He took my hand, stopping me. “I’m not that guy. You know? That’s not me. It never even crossed my mind to use you or whatever he did.”
“Yeah, okay,” I smirked.
“I swear.”
“You realize that’s not a compliment. Right?”
His face fell when he realized what I was saying. “Oh my God, I can’t win with you, huh?”
I laughed softly. “I’m kidding, Jake.” I wasn’t.
He sighed. “Can’t we just relax and be two people, instead of always bitching at each other? All we do is butt heads.”
“It’s not easy to leave stuff like that in the past. You know what I mean?”
He nodded. “I do.”
“You’ve never been like me. I bet you were always a star.”
“We all have our own shit.” It was all he said, but it was all he needed to say. Then, he looked down. He was still holding my hand.
I pulled it away. “Well, thank you for following me,” I murmured. “You didn’t have to.”
“I don’t let girls walk home alone. I know I can be an asshole, but I wouldn’t feel right knowing you were walking alone at night on campus.”
“I’ve got to go. I’ll see you later, Jake.”
I was starting to think he wasn’t that much of a dick, after all, and I smiled to myself as I went inside. I was still smiling as I unlocked the door to the dorm room.
Jess had waited all of three seconds before she pounced on me. “What was that?”
“What?” I looked around then realized she could see us through the windows. Her desk was right up against them.
“Shit.” I sat on the bed, giggled to myself. I couldn’t help it.
“He was holding your hand!” she reminded me, punching me gently on the shoulder.
“It was nothing. Trust me. Jake felt sorry for me.” I bit my lip. “He does walk behind me to make sure I’m safe going home, though.”
She gasped before shrieking, “Shut up!” She bounced up and down on my bed. “That’s so sweet. Like something out of a book. Oh, I’m dying!”
“It’s nothing. It’s nothing. Come on. We can’t trick ourselves into thinking it’s more than it is. Because it’s nothing. Okay? Nothing.”
“Could you say ‘nothing’ just one more time?”
“Nothing.”
She laughed. “What's the problem?”
“He’s in one world, I’m in another world. That's the problem.” I stood up, going to the
Instead, I wiped the dirt from my hands. “Do you want to know the reason I got so upset? I guess I should tell you if we’re going to work together this semester so you don’t think I’m this mentally unstable person.”
“Yeah, that'd be great,” he chuckled. “I mean if you want to. If it’ll make this whole process easier.”
I turned to walk towards my dorm, more slowly this time. Jake fell into step beside me.
“When I was in high school, I was pretty much the person I am now. A nerd. I got straight A’s, never missed a day of school. I didn’t have much of life. The head of the football program asked me to tutor the quarterback of the football team. He was failing out of school, practically.”
“Sounds familiar.”
“Right? When my advisor first told me I’d be tutoring you, I almost died.”
“I guess it didn’t go so well.”
I sighed and looked away. “No. I did my best for him, but he only wanted one thing. He wanted me to help him cheat. He thought if he got me to fall for him, I would go along with it.”
“You didn’t, did you?”
I looked up at him, walking beside me. “What do you think?”
“You have more integrity than that.”
I chuckled. “Thanks. You’re right, too. I told him to fuck himself.” I went silent.
He cleared his throat. “So, that’s the reason you hate me? I remind you of him?”
“I don’t hate you,” I said sharply. “I hate myself. Because it wasn’t that simple. But I don’t want to talk about that. It hurt a lot. That’s all you need to know.”
“Hey.” He took my hand, stopping me. “I’m not that guy. You know? That’s not me. It never even crossed my mind to use you or whatever he did.”
“Yeah, okay,” I smirked.
“I swear.”
“You realize that’s not a compliment. Right?”
His face fell when he realized what I was saying. “Oh my God, I can’t win with you, huh?”
I laughed softly. “I’m kidding, Jake.” I wasn’t.
He sighed. “Can’t we just relax and be two people, instead of always bitching at each other? All we do is butt heads.”
“It’s not easy to leave stuff like that in the past. You know what I mean?”
He nodded. “I do.”
“You’ve never been like me. I bet you were always a star.”
“We all have our own shit.” It was all he said, but it was all he needed to say. Then, he looked down. He was still holding my hand.
I pulled it away. “Well, thank you for following me,” I murmured. “You didn’t have to.”
“I don’t let girls walk home alone. I know I can be an asshole, but I wouldn’t feel right knowing you were walking alone at night on campus.”
“I’ve got to go. I’ll see you later, Jake.”
I was starting to think he wasn’t that much of a dick, after all, and I smiled to myself as I went inside. I was still smiling as I unlocked the door to the dorm room.
Jess had waited all of three seconds before she pounced on me. “What was that?”
“What?” I looked around then realized she could see us through the windows. Her desk was right up against them.
“Shit.” I sat on the bed, giggled to myself. I couldn’t help it.
“He was holding your hand!” she reminded me, punching me gently on the shoulder.
“It was nothing. Trust me. Jake felt sorry for me.” I bit my lip. “He does walk behind me to make sure I’m safe going home, though.”
She gasped before shrieking, “Shut up!” She bounced up and down on my bed. “That’s so sweet. Like something out of a book. Oh, I’m dying!”
“It’s nothing. It’s nothing. Come on. We can’t trick ourselves into thinking it’s more than it is. Because it’s nothing. Okay? Nothing.”
“Could you say ‘nothing’ just one more time?”
“Nothing.”
She laughed. “What's the problem?”
“He’s in one world, I’m in another world. That's the problem.” I stood up, going to the
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