Read Online Breaking Matthew by Jennifer H. Westall - Free Book Online

pockets. “Right.”
    “You should put your mind on your future. I hope you find what you’re looking for.”
    His face fell. He seemed like he wanted to say more, but I knew if I didn’t lie down soon, I’d pass out from exhaustion. So I went inside, and left him standing there. Maybe we’d both be able to move on and forget the past. I wanted to fall asleep and forget the present as well.
     
    Ms. Harmon was flustered by my lack of information and desire to go to bed, but she eventually quit asking questions long enough for me to escape to my room. By the time I slid under the sheets I felt almost desperate for sleep, and it wasn’t even seven o’clock in the evening. But as soon as my head hit the pillow, and my eyes closed out the world, all I could do was think about what had happened that morning.
    I could hear the shouts of anger, smell the hay and feed, feel the scrape of the dirt against my cheek as I fell. I saw Chester slump to the ground, over and over. I’d tried to save him. Hadn’t I? I’d prayed for the power to heal him, to stop the blood. But I’d felt nothing of God’s presence in that barn. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I hadn’t really wanted to save him.
    I tossed and turned with that weight on my mind for long into the night before I finally fell asleep, still begging God for answers and forgiveness. When I awoke the next morning, I heard my mother’s voice drifting around downstairs, mixed in with Ms. Harmon’s. My stomach tightened as I thought of how I’d explain the mess I’d gotten myself into this time. Already I could hear the lecture and see the disappointed shake of her head. But I knew she’d also hold me close, and eventually she’d tell me everything would be all right.
    So I pushed myself out of bed, washed my face and changed my dress. My hair was hopeless on the best of days, but especially this morning. I gathered it best I could and plaited it down one side. That would have to suffice. As I reached the top of the stairs, I heard Uncle Asa’s deep voice, and my spirits lifted.
    I practically ran down the stairs and straight into his arms. “Oh, Asa, I’m so glad you’re here!” I soaked up the warmth of his hug before gathering my wits and finding Mother. I hugged her too, though it was more reserved. “You too, Mother. I’m so glad to see you.”
    When I pulled away from Mother, I could see the slight disapproval in Ms. Harmon’s gaze, but I didn’t care. I’d work on the finer points of being a proper lady some other time. I looked between Mother and Asa, both afraid and relieved. “I suppose you’ve heard?”
    Mother held onto my shoulders and looked me over from head to toe. “James told us what happened yesterday. Are you hurt?”
    “I’m fine. A bit sore is all.”
    “Oh, Ruby,” she said, pulling me into her arms again. “Thank the Lord you’re all right. But mercy, why can’t you stay out of trouble?”
    Asa chuckled behind me. “Too much Graves blood in that one.” Mother and I separated, and she glared at him. “’Course, from what I understand that troublesome gene may be stronger on your side of the family. Those Kellum brothers—”
    Mother cleared her throat and darted her eyes at Ms. Harmon. Asa clamped his mouth shut. Ms. Harmon raised an eyebrow. “I’ll just go and make sure breakfast is ready. You all take your time. Miss Ruby can join us when she’s ready.” Then she disappeared into the kitchen.
    Mother and I took our seats on the sofa. Asa moved beside Mother, but kept on standing. As soon as he was out of her line of sight, he caught my eye and mouthed, “You all right?”
    I shook my head sadly. “Mother, I’m sorry if I’ve caused you any worry.”
    She leaned toward me and lowered her voice. “What exactly happened out there yesterday? James says this man, Chester Calhoun, was the one who attacked you before. Is that true?”
    I nodded and looked up at Asa. I hoped he saw the gratitude in my eyes for his