Read Online Doubting Our Hearts by Rachel E. Cagle - Free Book Online
Authors: Rachel E. Cagle
Ads: Link
feel when she's near me. I don't know if what I'm feeling is love or lust." I try to slow my breathing, but being this close to her and having the ability to touch her is totally messing with me. "And as much as I want label this connection, I just couldn't do that to Addison. She's stuck by me when some women would cut their losses and bail. What the hell and I gonna do?"
Brendan thinks about my question for a few minutes before saying, "How about this, you try to take Lillian out as friends like you guys did before and just see how she is. I won't tell Addy. I'll just take her out and talk about all that wedding junk. It'll kill me. God, it’ll kill me, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make for you."
"I don't want to lie anymore, bro."
"You're not lying. I am. Plus, Addy is so mixed up with her modeling career you guys hardly spend any time together anyway." He puts his hand on my shoulder. "The way you're talking really sounds like you like her a lot, possibly even love her. But whatever it is, you need to figure out those feelings before you do something you might regret, say in five months."
I let out a short laugh knowing my brother is right. If I marry Addy without fully knowing what this thing is between Lillian and me, I'm going to regret it for the rest of my life. Before anything else, I need to come clean with Lillian about our past and my intentions. Her steadfastness about her commitment to Damon was one of the things I admired about her, and I feel the same level of commitment toward Addison. She didn't run last time, and since I'm going to stop withholding the truth, she needs to hear this from me. I owe her that much. I'll keep things plutonic between Lillian and me because questions need answered before I can vow to love and honor any woman.
A knock at the door has me jerking my head up to connect with the same green eyes that mesmerized me months ago. "Umm, I'm ready when y'all are," She says as she closed the door lightly behind her.
"Come on, Bray. Let's go do this."
I get up from the chair with a renewed sense of purpose after the bombshell that is Lillian stepped back into my life. I'm determined to figure out what this is between us without hurting the woman I'm engaged to.
******
"Didn't your assistants bring a change of clothes for you both to wear?" She asks as she changes her lens on her camera.
"Yeah, I think I saw them in the other room. Do you want us to change into them now?"
"That would be helpful.” She sneers. “Please, the sooner we get this started the sooner we can finish."
This is going to be harder than I thought. She's going to be all business and straight to the point, and all I want to do is wrap my arms around her and tell her I'm sorry.
When my brother and I change into the suits Becky had picked up from the cleaners, Lillian eyes us with an amused smirk on her face. "Oh, isn't this just perfect." I couldn't tell if she was laughing at us or being sarcastic.
I look from me to my brother and notice our suits are exactly the same. Damn, we had to wear the same things when we were younger; I thought we were done with that. With a shrug to my shoulders, Bren and I walk over to the backdrop.
When she grabs her camera and puts it up to her face, I'm transported back to the time I saw her on the boardwalk waiting for me.
I couldn't believe she actually showed up. She had her camera up to her eye and she was taking pictures of people, the impending sunset, the water, and anything that looked remotely interesting to her. She was in a similar outfit, which makes me think she likes to be comfortable over being fashionable.
The loose strands from her long french braid were blowing around her face, and I could tell that she'd smile right before she took a picture. She was the most gorgeous woman I ever laid eyes on, and I couldn't think of anything else but getting to know her.
As I approached her, I said, "You made it," as I laid my hand on her
Brendan thinks about my question for a few minutes before saying, "How about this, you try to take Lillian out as friends like you guys did before and just see how she is. I won't tell Addy. I'll just take her out and talk about all that wedding junk. It'll kill me. God, it’ll kill me, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make for you."
"I don't want to lie anymore, bro."
"You're not lying. I am. Plus, Addy is so mixed up with her modeling career you guys hardly spend any time together anyway." He puts his hand on my shoulder. "The way you're talking really sounds like you like her a lot, possibly even love her. But whatever it is, you need to figure out those feelings before you do something you might regret, say in five months."
I let out a short laugh knowing my brother is right. If I marry Addy without fully knowing what this thing is between Lillian and me, I'm going to regret it for the rest of my life. Before anything else, I need to come clean with Lillian about our past and my intentions. Her steadfastness about her commitment to Damon was one of the things I admired about her, and I feel the same level of commitment toward Addison. She didn't run last time, and since I'm going to stop withholding the truth, she needs to hear this from me. I owe her that much. I'll keep things plutonic between Lillian and me because questions need answered before I can vow to love and honor any woman.
A knock at the door has me jerking my head up to connect with the same green eyes that mesmerized me months ago. "Umm, I'm ready when y'all are," She says as she closed the door lightly behind her.
"Come on, Bray. Let's go do this."
I get up from the chair with a renewed sense of purpose after the bombshell that is Lillian stepped back into my life. I'm determined to figure out what this is between us without hurting the woman I'm engaged to.
******
"Didn't your assistants bring a change of clothes for you both to wear?" She asks as she changes her lens on her camera.
"Yeah, I think I saw them in the other room. Do you want us to change into them now?"
"That would be helpful.” She sneers. “Please, the sooner we get this started the sooner we can finish."
This is going to be harder than I thought. She's going to be all business and straight to the point, and all I want to do is wrap my arms around her and tell her I'm sorry.
When my brother and I change into the suits Becky had picked up from the cleaners, Lillian eyes us with an amused smirk on her face. "Oh, isn't this just perfect." I couldn't tell if she was laughing at us or being sarcastic.
I look from me to my brother and notice our suits are exactly the same. Damn, we had to wear the same things when we were younger; I thought we were done with that. With a shrug to my shoulders, Bren and I walk over to the backdrop.
When she grabs her camera and puts it up to her face, I'm transported back to the time I saw her on the boardwalk waiting for me.
I couldn't believe she actually showed up. She had her camera up to her eye and she was taking pictures of people, the impending sunset, the water, and anything that looked remotely interesting to her. She was in a similar outfit, which makes me think she likes to be comfortable over being fashionable.
The loose strands from her long french braid were blowing around her face, and I could tell that she'd smile right before she took a picture. She was the most gorgeous woman I ever laid eyes on, and I couldn't think of anything else but getting to know her.
As I approached her, I said, "You made it," as I laid my hand on her
Similar Books
