Doubting Our Hearts

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Authors: Rachel E. Cagle
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boardwalk, but in New York with Lillian in front of me.
    "Yeah, sorry. I was...uh...somewhere else."
    "Didn't take a genius to figure that out." She teases.
    "So, what is it that we do at one of your photo shoots?"
    She cocks her head to the side before answering, "Well, first just do what's natural. Smile how you want, pose how you like, and just do brotherly stuff. Just don't brawl it out. This equipment cost money you know."
    Her cocky smile plays on her lips. The one that's hard not to laugh at. Brendan and I both chuckle, and I quickly take him in a brotherly choke hold. "Like this Lil?" I smile as Brendan semi struggles to get out of my grasp.
    I hear the click of a camera before Lillian says, "You're going to let him do that to you Brendan?” She’s shaking her head but smiles, and I’m so entranced I forget what I’m doing. “I mean you two do look a lot alike. He can't be that much stronger than you, can he?" I chuckle as Brendan overpowers me, and in a split second, he takes control switching positions.
    I let her take a few pictures, but then my competitive side comes out and I'm trying to one up my brother. Lillian takes pictures of us throwing punches, laughing, and just plain goofing off. I haven't felt this laid back in a long time way before my brother and I got our company started.
    "These were great. Thanks guys. Take a few and we'll try to get ones that GQ might actually run in the magazine."
    She heads to her stuff and picks up a water bottle to take a sip. When I see her take off her pink sweater, if I didn't remember how sexy she is, then I sure as hell know it now. The plain white t-shirt sits lightly hugging her body, and the weight of her breasts strain against the material of her bra to push against the shirt.
    Brendan pushes my shoulder, and I turn to him. "Dude..." He says as he smirks at me and tilts his head toward Lillian. I have this sudden urge to tackle him to the ground. I don't care if he was trying to get me to stop staring at her chest or if he was telling me that he was staring too.
    Trying to get my thoughts out of the gutter, I ask, "Alright Miss Photographer, what should we do now?"
    "I figured we could take a couple over here with you two back to back. Smirk, smile, just anything that's comfortable."
    We do what she tells us, and the relaxed feeling is back in full force. Brendan opens the front of his suit and I mirror his pose. I pull my lapels and he pulls at his vest. Brendan takes off his jacket and I can't help but follow his lead. All the while Lillian is click clicking away catching us messing around with each other.
    "Wow. I mean, I think I have enough now. Thanks. Y’all can change now."
    "But..." I poke at her. There wasn’t a but at all; however, I need an excuse to keep her talking and in this good mood.
    "But what?" She asks looking a bit confused.
    "There was a but there. I heard it."
    "There was no but." She doesn’t go to pack up her camera. Instead, she stares at it, running her fingers over the lines and curves.
    I can tell there’s something on her mind, but she’s not opening up. I just want her to talk to me like we use to. "Come on, Lil. Whatever you need us to do as long as I don't have to touch him," I say motioning with my head over to my brother.
    "Yeah, I love this dude, but that's definitely where I draw the line too," Bren adds.
    She looks nervous, looking between me and my brother then her camera. "Well, it was more a personal request. Nothing to do with the magazine."
    "Ask, Lillian," I urge.
    She's takes a few breaths and messes with her camera a bit before saying, "My friends asked a request of me the other night at dinner."
    "And what was does this major request consist of?"
    "It was either my girlfriends sit in on this session,” then she mutters, “which was never gonna happen” under her breath, “or I agree to take a particular kind of picture of Brendan."
    Brendan smirks no doubt mulling over the decision in his messed up head, but

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