have no idea what youâre talking about.â
Eva yawned and rubbed her eyes. âYou know. Right hook. Jab. Uppercut. Do you want a cup of tea?â
And she wandered off downstairs to brew up raspberry leaf or chamomile or whatever pregnancy-friendly health-food stuff she was drinking, and I stood there on the aluminum ladderâhalf in the loft, half outâand thought, Boxing? No. Not Harry. Harry doesnât fight people.
He just hurts them by laughing at them.
â¢Â  â¢Â  â¢
âAnd then I got to the box on the form that said, Why do you want to be a teacher? And I thought, But I donât. I donât want to be a teacher.â Izzie looked up in distress.
It was a Saturday afternoon in late August. Every so often, the foundations of the Nunhead house shook as cars with speakers the size of dog kennels boomed their way past. The air was flat and useless, as if someone had sucked all the goodness out of it. Izzie had just arrived from Newcastle. She quite often dressed in a slightly haphazard way, like someone decorating a cake who starts off with chocolate buttons and decides halfway through that lattice icing would look much better. Kim suspected her mind was usually on other things. But today, herchoices seemed even more random than usual. Izzie was wearing small brown ankle boots, a long red taffeta skirt, a manâs black waistcoat with silver buttons, and a double row of pearls. Her wild brown hair was piled on top of her head and secured with a pencil. The overall effect, strangely, was demure and conservative, like Edith Wharton at her country estate.
Kim, who only ever wore black jeans and a T-shirt, was deeply impressed.
âSo I donât know what to do,â said Izzie, on the brink of tears. âI thought I had it all worked out. And now itâs unraveling. Like a piece of bad knitting.â
Kim took a deep breath. This called for clear thinking. âOK, letâs start with the negatives. You donât want to teach. What else do you definitely not want to do?â
âLive with my parents.â
Kim opened her mouth to speak and shut it again.
âIt doesnât stop. Ever since I told them Iâd changed my mind. âYou donât have to teach forever, pet. But itâs a useful skill to fall back on. Because you know lifeâs not easy these days. There are bills to pay. Thereâs gas and electric and water. And then youâve got your Council Tax. Not to mention food. Have you seen the prices? Your father and I love having you here. Of course we do. But once weâre gone, how are you going to manage?âââ
It was as if Izzieâs mother was sitting in the room.
âItâs not funny,â said Izzie.
Kim wiped the smile off her face. âSo you donât want to be a teacher. And you donât want to live with your parents. Is there anything you do want to do?â
Izzie hesitated.
âWhat?â said Kim.
âLive in London.â
Kimâs face lit up. âWith me?â
âI could look after Evaâs baby. In return for a free room.â
Kim frowned. âI might not be living with Eva.â
âWhy?â
âIâm not that keen on living somewhere that Harryâs paying for.â
Izzie opened her eyes wide. âHeâs going to pay for it? A whole flat?â
Kim nodded.
âWhatâs that if it isnât a guilty conscience?â
As usual, whenever conversation turned to Harry, Kim felt herself squirming and coiling, like a worm exposed to sunlight. She said, to change the subject, âSo what are you going to do? If youâre not going to teach?â
Izzie shrugged. âEarn some money.â
âDoing what?â
âStacking shelves?â
Kim looked gloomy. âI think you need a masterâs to do that these days.â
âOh,â said Izzie, shocked. âYou didnât get it? The research
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