said.
Joshua felt as if a huge weight was lifted off his
chest. Ash would be fine. No longer would Ash pay a terrible price for saving Joshua’s life. His fireball could fly again.
“When can I see him?” Joshua asked.
“You can go in now. But, as you know, he’ll be a bit groggy.”
No sooner had she said the words, than Joshua was through the doors and making his way back to post-op. Gage was already back there with Kallen, who had made it through his surgery with no problems. Joshua would forever be grateful to the Hyena shifter for saving Ash’s life.
Joshua went up to Ash and leaned over the bed.
Brushing back his hair, he said, “Did they tell you the good news?”
Ash gave him a bleary grin. “Yeah, I’m going to be able to walk again. How wicked cool is that?”
Joshua laughed. He was already beginning to sound like the old Ash. “Very wicked cool. You’ll be able to shift, too. You’ll have your Hawk back, just like you wanted.”
“I missed it so much. Almost as much as I missed you when you were gone.”
Even though Joshua knew it was the drugs doing the talking, he still replied, “I missed you, too, every single day.”
“Then why didn’t you come back?”
“Because I was a damn fool. I won’t make that same mistake twice.”
Ash let out a high-sounding laugh. “No, because you have to find some nice female Bobcat to mate with. No boy Hawks for you.”
“I don’t want anybody but you, Ash.”
Ash rolled his eyes. “You’re just saying that because you think I’m too high to remember this conversation. Once I’m sober, you’ll go back to the way you were before. I’m not that high that I don’t know that.”
Joshua leaned down and lightly feathered their lips together. It wasn’t exactly how he’d planned their first kiss to be, but so be it. “If you don’t remember it, then I’ll just have to repeat it. While I was waiting for you during surgery, I decided something.”
“That the chairs in the family room are way too uncomfortable?”
“No, I decided that I don’t care what my family thinks. I want you, and if they don’t like it, then it’s their problem.”
“You’ll change your mind back again once I’m better.”
“No, I won’t,” Joshua said with dead certainty.
Ash patted his hand. “Yes, you will. Hey, will I ever get my F or L ?”
Joshua shook his head. “No, but it’s not because you don’t measure up in my eyes. It’s because you’re my Ash. Just like the phoenix, who rises out of the ashes. No matter how many times you
get knocked down, you manage to rise up and keep on fighting.”
“Hmmm…when you say it that way, it almost sounds pretty.”
Ash then closed his eyes and fell back to sleep.
Joshua still spent a few more minutes by Ash’s side, caressing his hair and giving him the occasional kiss on his brow, before he said, “I love you so damn much, please forgive me.”
He then got up so he could go out to the others to tell them how Ash was doing. As soon as he went to the family room, he was met with questions.
“Is he awake?” Isaac asked.
“Can he really walk again?” Gregg added.
Joshua held up his hands. “He was awake for a while, but he’s sleeping again. You should be able to see him in the morning. He’s still pretty out of it. Yes, he will be able to walk and shift again. He was very happy about that. Before we know it, he’ll be out in the field with you guys again.”
Even as Joshua said those words, it felt like a punch to the gut. Just the thought of Ash being out on active duty scared the hell out of him. No, there was no way he was going to allow it. Ash would just work in the infirmary from now on. If he didn’t like it, then too bad. There was no way that Joshua was ever going to let Ash get hurt again.
Everyone filed out, but Shane who was giving Joshua a probing stare. “You made up your mind, didn’t you?”
“Yes, my family can go fuck themselves as you like to say. I’m not
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