met, and two, I can't afford to take care of you. Yes, that is what you want, isn't it. A mommy to take care of you. To love and hold you while maintaining a six figure income so you can enjoy all the crap you want that I cannot possibly afford. You want money for this, that or another thing. You keep asking me about my bank account and you blatantly asked me how much income I take home so you can manage it. Because that's what I have right? A money management problem. Not a billion in debt from living the rock star life style. Well tough . If you insist on me paying for everything, then we are doing it my way. Let me introduce you to a little thing I call a budget. And while you are getting familiar with it, make sure to notice that supporting you is not on it. Do not piss on my leg and tell me it's raining. I'm smarter than I look, not much, but a little. I am not asking you for financial support so do not expect you can just show up at my place, move in and party your life away like a rock star. You must be out of your mind.
"I just don't understand why you can't watch my three kids, work full time and clean the house." he exclaims in video chat. This is Monkeyman58 but his real name is Calvin. He lives at his mom's house after, according to him, he was unlawfully detained and sentenced to 6 months in a minimum security prison for an accidental robbery. Now me being me and a nosey Nelly, looked him up and found out he tried to hijack a woman's purse. Unfortunately for him, it wasn't on a woman at all; but an off duty cross dressing cop, who unlike me, mastered walking in high heels. So now Calvin is out of prison and looking for a new mommy aka a sugar mama . He has three kids and whether or not the baby mamas are in the picture is not clear. His mom lives off her disability check which Calvin cons from her every chance he gets.
"What don't you understand" I say bleakly. I'm pretty sure that everyone understands why I can't have an ex con with three kids living in my small bedroom. It's not rocket science, I'm not pulling out complex reasoning to justify my insanity. I cannot support you and your kids because I can barely support myself. You and your children cannot move in with me because there is barely room for myself.
"What are you, stupid, woman." Calvin shouts, adjusting his crouch. "You need to step up in this relationship." He says spitting into the camera. Well, that's gross. Spitting into the camera, really?
"This is our first virtual date, so I ask you what relationship?" I start looking around me for my purse in case I want to make a quick getaway, then realize it's a video chat, I'm already home.
"Who is going to feed my kids now?" He demands. Standing up revealing his Pokémon boxers and thick black leg hair.
"How about you? They are your kids." I answer honestly. What? He made them. Why am I expected to raise them and probably him. It sounds like he needs some growing up.
"Well, you're a bad mom!" Calvin shouts. Throwing what looks like a large purple crack pipe on the floor, shattering it into a million pieces.
"I'm not their mom." I exclaim. Thank goodness I don't have any kids. I can't afford to take care of myself right now, let alone kids. I just don't get where people get off thinking that I am responsible for their kids and them.
Chapter twenty one
I walked across the street early on a Monday morning. I called in sick, but that was a lie. I just wanted a break. Did you know that according to my parents, this is my midlife crisis and once I stop messing around I will go back to Henry. Really? I'm the one messing around? So what happened was: last night my parents requested a video chat, and of course I obliged.
"Oh honey, you look awful, did you gain weight?" My mother, 73, with dyed red hair asked. My mom sells Gossip cosmetics out of the garage. She claims that they are homemade but she just repackaged Gossip cosmetics and she sells them at a profit. She is wearing a lime green sports bra
"I just don't understand why you can't watch my three kids, work full time and clean the house." he exclaims in video chat. This is Monkeyman58 but his real name is Calvin. He lives at his mom's house after, according to him, he was unlawfully detained and sentenced to 6 months in a minimum security prison for an accidental robbery. Now me being me and a nosey Nelly, looked him up and found out he tried to hijack a woman's purse. Unfortunately for him, it wasn't on a woman at all; but an off duty cross dressing cop, who unlike me, mastered walking in high heels. So now Calvin is out of prison and looking for a new mommy aka a sugar mama . He has three kids and whether or not the baby mamas are in the picture is not clear. His mom lives off her disability check which Calvin cons from her every chance he gets.
"What don't you understand" I say bleakly. I'm pretty sure that everyone understands why I can't have an ex con with three kids living in my small bedroom. It's not rocket science, I'm not pulling out complex reasoning to justify my insanity. I cannot support you and your kids because I can barely support myself. You and your children cannot move in with me because there is barely room for myself.
"What are you, stupid, woman." Calvin shouts, adjusting his crouch. "You need to step up in this relationship." He says spitting into the camera. Well, that's gross. Spitting into the camera, really?
"This is our first virtual date, so I ask you what relationship?" I start looking around me for my purse in case I want to make a quick getaway, then realize it's a video chat, I'm already home.
"Who is going to feed my kids now?" He demands. Standing up revealing his Pokémon boxers and thick black leg hair.
"How about you? They are your kids." I answer honestly. What? He made them. Why am I expected to raise them and probably him. It sounds like he needs some growing up.
"Well, you're a bad mom!" Calvin shouts. Throwing what looks like a large purple crack pipe on the floor, shattering it into a million pieces.
"I'm not their mom." I exclaim. Thank goodness I don't have any kids. I can't afford to take care of myself right now, let alone kids. I just don't get where people get off thinking that I am responsible for their kids and them.
Chapter twenty one
I walked across the street early on a Monday morning. I called in sick, but that was a lie. I just wanted a break. Did you know that according to my parents, this is my midlife crisis and once I stop messing around I will go back to Henry. Really? I'm the one messing around? So what happened was: last night my parents requested a video chat, and of course I obliged.
"Oh honey, you look awful, did you gain weight?" My mother, 73, with dyed red hair asked. My mom sells Gossip cosmetics out of the garage. She claims that they are homemade but she just repackaged Gossip cosmetics and she sells them at a profit. She is wearing a lime green sports bra
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