Read Online Devoted - The Complete Series: A BWWM Romance Boxset by Sadie Black - Free Book Online
Authors: Sadie Black
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the ramp to climb to the top of the slide again.
“It’s so nice to have the family together,” Eileen says dreamily while she watches her daughter play.
Looking up at Brooklyn’s beaming smile, it’s hard to argue. Even if the circumstances aren’t ideal. “It’s nice to see her,” I nod. “You know, you don’t need to start a crisis to get me to visit, Eileen. I have no problem visiting regularly if that’s what you want.”
“What do you mean ‘start a crisis’, huh?” She snaps from her peaceful state.
Here we go . “Ok, that was bad phrasing. I just mean that I can visit for more than emergencies.”
“I’m sorry, but how is firing an abusive thief for a Nanny ‘creating a crisis’ exactly? She bulldozes over me. “She was abusing her!” Other parents in the part dart their eyes toward us, pretending not to take notice of her soaring voice.
She isn’t well . You wouldn’t get angry at someone for having cancer , I remind myself for probably the tenth time today alone. Eileen’s moods haven’t been stable since the day I met her, but the drinking has taken it to a whole new level. She’s absolutely intolerable on her best days now, and when I have the pleasure of dealing with them it just sets my heart on fire to know that this is the kind of mother Brooklyn is stuck with. Fucking courts, since when did being a woman automatically make you a good mother?
I want to grab her by her shoulders and give her a shake, to point my finger in her face and tell her that I’m sick of her bullshit. Nobody believes her abuse stories; nobody believes just about anything that comes out of her mouth. Yet, I remain stoic. There’s no amount of shoulder shaking or yelling in the world that will make Eileen see reality for what it is.
“Ok, ok,” I hold up my hands in surrender. In my heart, I know there’s no other choice than to wave the white flag when she gets like this. It’s a slippery slope to the bottom of the rabbit hole. “It sounds like you made the right call then, you needed to do what was best for Brooklyn and you did it.” I praise her insanity and want to choke on the lies and bile rising in my throat. “I’m just trying to help you out, Eileen. I don’t want to fight, ok? The offer is on the table that if you need me to be around more, we’ll make that work. It’s up to you if you take it or not.”
Watching Brooklyn twirl around the park in circles gives me mixed emotions. On the one hand I’m happy, no, I’m fucking thrilled that she doesn’t seem to understand the instability in her life yet. However, on the other hand, I literally have to choke back tears when I realize that with each passing day she’s closer to finding out. I just hope that when the day comes that twirling in the playground is no longer enough to take away all her troubles, that I’m awarded custody of her. Lord help her if she’s still in Eileen’s care when she finally realizes, or even worse, questions how messed up she is.
Eileen’s sniffling draws my attention away from my girl. “You know, sometimes I see her like this, and I think we’d be better off with Jesus. Like, I need to keep her from learning about all the wickedness in the world. You know what I mean?” She implores, her cloudy eyes searching my face. My veins frost over as I try to make sense of what she’s saying. Better off with Jesus?
I try to think before I speak, to add some element of rational thought into Eileen’s brain. “You know,” I furrow my brow, searching for the right words. The perfect words. “Just because there is wickedness, doesn’t mean that Brooklyn will fall into it. You’re raising a strong girl, right? I’m sure you’re teaching her how to avoid the people that don’t have good intentions.”
Eileen throws her arms around my neck so tight; I gasp for air. Her sobs fill the space around us as she buries her head in my jacket. “That’s just
“It’s so nice to have the family together,” Eileen says dreamily while she watches her daughter play.
Looking up at Brooklyn’s beaming smile, it’s hard to argue. Even if the circumstances aren’t ideal. “It’s nice to see her,” I nod. “You know, you don’t need to start a crisis to get me to visit, Eileen. I have no problem visiting regularly if that’s what you want.”
“What do you mean ‘start a crisis’, huh?” She snaps from her peaceful state.
Here we go . “Ok, that was bad phrasing. I just mean that I can visit for more than emergencies.”
“I’m sorry, but how is firing an abusive thief for a Nanny ‘creating a crisis’ exactly? She bulldozes over me. “She was abusing her!” Other parents in the part dart their eyes toward us, pretending not to take notice of her soaring voice.
She isn’t well . You wouldn’t get angry at someone for having cancer , I remind myself for probably the tenth time today alone. Eileen’s moods haven’t been stable since the day I met her, but the drinking has taken it to a whole new level. She’s absolutely intolerable on her best days now, and when I have the pleasure of dealing with them it just sets my heart on fire to know that this is the kind of mother Brooklyn is stuck with. Fucking courts, since when did being a woman automatically make you a good mother?
I want to grab her by her shoulders and give her a shake, to point my finger in her face and tell her that I’m sick of her bullshit. Nobody believes her abuse stories; nobody believes just about anything that comes out of her mouth. Yet, I remain stoic. There’s no amount of shoulder shaking or yelling in the world that will make Eileen see reality for what it is.
“Ok, ok,” I hold up my hands in surrender. In my heart, I know there’s no other choice than to wave the white flag when she gets like this. It’s a slippery slope to the bottom of the rabbit hole. “It sounds like you made the right call then, you needed to do what was best for Brooklyn and you did it.” I praise her insanity and want to choke on the lies and bile rising in my throat. “I’m just trying to help you out, Eileen. I don’t want to fight, ok? The offer is on the table that if you need me to be around more, we’ll make that work. It’s up to you if you take it or not.”
Watching Brooklyn twirl around the park in circles gives me mixed emotions. On the one hand I’m happy, no, I’m fucking thrilled that she doesn’t seem to understand the instability in her life yet. However, on the other hand, I literally have to choke back tears when I realize that with each passing day she’s closer to finding out. I just hope that when the day comes that twirling in the playground is no longer enough to take away all her troubles, that I’m awarded custody of her. Lord help her if she’s still in Eileen’s care when she finally realizes, or even worse, questions how messed up she is.
Eileen’s sniffling draws my attention away from my girl. “You know, sometimes I see her like this, and I think we’d be better off with Jesus. Like, I need to keep her from learning about all the wickedness in the world. You know what I mean?” She implores, her cloudy eyes searching my face. My veins frost over as I try to make sense of what she’s saying. Better off with Jesus?
I try to think before I speak, to add some element of rational thought into Eileen’s brain. “You know,” I furrow my brow, searching for the right words. The perfect words. “Just because there is wickedness, doesn’t mean that Brooklyn will fall into it. You’re raising a strong girl, right? I’m sure you’re teaching her how to avoid the people that don’t have good intentions.”
Eileen throws her arms around my neck so tight; I gasp for air. Her sobs fill the space around us as she buries her head in my jacket. “That’s just
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