to the side, relieved the bells had stopped ringing on the ninth chime. âThere isnât time. I need to see my family. Right now.â Her voice caught. âThis canât â this canât be happening.â All of it felt strange and impossible, seeing Jerome and her own body, feeling theringing of the bells and the appalling absence of her heartbeat.
Heidi pushed past him, raced up the stairs, and tried the doorknob. Her hand sliced through it as though it were a projection and not the simple, solid object sheâd wrapped her fingers around nearly every day of her life without a second thought.
âI canât open the door,â she said. âWhy canât I turn the knob?â She turned to face him.
âHeidi.â
He took a step closer. She looked at the arrow and put a hand on her chest. It was gruesome, sticking out of his forehead like that. How could he stand it? How was it possible even to survive something like that? He opened his mouth to speak, and she knew with absolute certainty he was going to talk about what theyâd seen back at the pond. She didnât want to hear any of it.
âStop. Donât say another word. I have to see my family. Maybe they can ââ
Jerome reached out and started to put a hand on her forearm but appeared to think better of it. He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked at his boots.
âHeidi,â he said so quietly she could barely hear it. âAny second now, youâre gonna go to Heaven. Youâll get to hang out with the angels. Youâll love it.â
She put her hands over her ears. âSTOP! Donât say that. Itâs not true. Iâm not ââ But she couldnât find the word in her mouth. If sheâd been crazy before for hearing him, what was she now that she was seeing him?
She fell to the snow and wrapped her arms around her head.
âCome on, Heidi. I know how youâre feeling. Believe me. When I woke up in Gabeâs office ââ He interrupted himself, shaking his head. âLook, Iâm sorry, but weâve gotta get going. Itâs already past nine oâclock, which means I am late for group, and any second now, youâre going to get pulled into Heaven, and once the powers that be write your name in the registry, Iâm going to get sent someplace else. My only chance to survive is if I sneak you in through the back so no one notices. Youâll be fine â I promise.â
âJerome.â Heidiâs voice was quiet, and she could only get out one word at a time. âPlease.â
A look passed across his face, and Heidi almost got up and went with him, he looked so desolate. Before she could speak, though, he shrugged and helped her stand. Then he turned and walked straight through the door as if there was nothing there at all.
With one hand extended, Heidi took a step toward the door. Jiminy barked and she turned to him. She couldnât leave him alone outside. Heâd run into the street, get hit by a car. She froze for an awful moment, trapped between what she wanted to do and what she knew she had to do.
Jerome stuck his head through the door. âYou coming?â
He caught sight of Jiminy. âOh yeah,â he said, stepping outside again. âIâll watch the mutt.â
Â
It felt strange to pass through a door, like a million soft fingers stroking her cheeks and shoulders. Heidishuddered, but didnât stop moving until sheâd reached the family room, where her mother was reading a fitness magazine, her father was balancing his checkbook, and her brother, Rory, was playing his video game, as though this was any Saturday morning and not her last one.
âMom, Dad!â she said. âIâve had an accident!â She couldnât say the word dead . Even if it were true, maybe she could keep the reality of it at armâs length and spend the rest of her existence near her family, as
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