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Authors: Spencer Adams
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Lee and
Jiyeon were looking at Tom as if they wanted to say more, but ran
out of reports that might be helpful to him. Tom eased their
discomfort.
“ I appreciate it. This
briefing was very helpful. Is there anything else for us to go
through or can I go hit the firing range?”
Mr. Lee started speaking slowly, “There is
one thing we wanted to offer you. We have not spoken to Mr. Park or
your commander Anderson about this yet. We usually give our deep
cover officers a pill to take in case they find themselves in a
situation where they know they will get caught.” Jiyeon was looking
down as Mr. Lee continued. “If something happens and they do catch
you, they will torture you in unimaginable ways. I’ll spare you on
what they do, but it won’t stop even when you tell them everything
you know. They will keep it up long past the point where you will
lose your mind. There is no reason to go through that – it’s better
to die. All our illegals carry one. It’s what Officer 1414
used.”
Tom looked out the window – the sun was
bright outside. He slowly looked back at Mr. Lee, who was leaning
forward in his seat, awaiting a response. Tom methodically gave his
answer, “I have no need for that.” Tom shook his head slowly and
continued staring through the window, “I’ll never be captured
alive.” Mr. Lee did not move.
When Tom was going through Basic Underwater
Demolition / SEAL training, or BUD/S, to become a Navy SEAL many
years ago, he underwent a revelation. They were performing physical
activities all day. The instructors required them to pass a number
of tests including a beach run, pushups, pullups and a swim in the
frigid Pacific Ocean. On top of that, for one week, known as Hell
Week, they were only allowed one or two hours of sleep – for the
entire week. Each day of Hell Week they were told that they needed
to improve their scores on their physical tests from the previous
day. If they did not, they would be kicked out of the program. Some
SEAL candidates, having not slept at all in the previous days, quit
as the week went on, convinced that it was impossible to beat their
scores any further. The cold swim was what got most people. When
the candidates swam for a mile in the cold water when rested, it
was difficult enough. But on three days without sleep, it seemed
like insanity. Tom and a few others thought about it, put their
heads down, and just went for it. It was the hardest thing Tom had
ever done. It felt like death would snatch him out of that water at
any moment. Inside his head as he was swimming, he heard nothing as
his mind had already shut down. He barely registered that the water
felt like millions of ice cubes traveling all over his body. He
kept taking strokes as hard as he could. Somehow he beat his best
time. The revelation that hit him was that SEAL training was
psychological, not physical. His body could do the impossible if he
forced it. The phrase “you can do anything you put your mind to”
was something repeated among millions of children each year. But
the candidates who finished SEAL training learned to live it. After
that, fear no longer disturbed them. In Afghanistan if SEALs were
in a small team and outnumbered 100 to 1, they just fought back.
They would do anything to win. It felt right to them much like it
would feel right to a lesser man to run away. It was no different
from that swim during BUD/S – in the face of an impossibility, they
just got going. This trained confidence gave Tom the belief he
would not get captured on his missions. It was not because he could
defeat entire armies singlehandedly. It was because he knew he
would end up fighting with his fists if he had to. It felt
right.
Mr. Lee and Jiyeon had been sitting frozen
when Tom got up and walked over to Mr. Lee. They shook hands and
Tom patted him on the back.
“ Thanks for your help and
sorry about 1414,” he said.
“ We were told to help you
any way we can. So let us know if you need anything
Jiyeon were looking at Tom as if they wanted to say more, but ran
out of reports that might be helpful to him. Tom eased their
discomfort.
“ I appreciate it. This
briefing was very helpful. Is there anything else for us to go
through or can I go hit the firing range?”
Mr. Lee started speaking slowly, “There is
one thing we wanted to offer you. We have not spoken to Mr. Park or
your commander Anderson about this yet. We usually give our deep
cover officers a pill to take in case they find themselves in a
situation where they know they will get caught.” Jiyeon was looking
down as Mr. Lee continued. “If something happens and they do catch
you, they will torture you in unimaginable ways. I’ll spare you on
what they do, but it won’t stop even when you tell them everything
you know. They will keep it up long past the point where you will
lose your mind. There is no reason to go through that – it’s better
to die. All our illegals carry one. It’s what Officer 1414
used.”
Tom looked out the window – the sun was
bright outside. He slowly looked back at Mr. Lee, who was leaning
forward in his seat, awaiting a response. Tom methodically gave his
answer, “I have no need for that.” Tom shook his head slowly and
continued staring through the window, “I’ll never be captured
alive.” Mr. Lee did not move.
When Tom was going through Basic Underwater
Demolition / SEAL training, or BUD/S, to become a Navy SEAL many
years ago, he underwent a revelation. They were performing physical
activities all day. The instructors required them to pass a number
of tests including a beach run, pushups, pullups and a swim in the
frigid Pacific Ocean. On top of that, for one week, known as Hell
Week, they were only allowed one or two hours of sleep – for the
entire week. Each day of Hell Week they were told that they needed
to improve their scores on their physical tests from the previous
day. If they did not, they would be kicked out of the program. Some
SEAL candidates, having not slept at all in the previous days, quit
as the week went on, convinced that it was impossible to beat their
scores any further. The cold swim was what got most people. When
the candidates swam for a mile in the cold water when rested, it
was difficult enough. But on three days without sleep, it seemed
like insanity. Tom and a few others thought about it, put their
heads down, and just went for it. It was the hardest thing Tom had
ever done. It felt like death would snatch him out of that water at
any moment. Inside his head as he was swimming, he heard nothing as
his mind had already shut down. He barely registered that the water
felt like millions of ice cubes traveling all over his body. He
kept taking strokes as hard as he could. Somehow he beat his best
time. The revelation that hit him was that SEAL training was
psychological, not physical. His body could do the impossible if he
forced it. The phrase “you can do anything you put your mind to”
was something repeated among millions of children each year. But
the candidates who finished SEAL training learned to live it. After
that, fear no longer disturbed them. In Afghanistan if SEALs were
in a small team and outnumbered 100 to 1, they just fought back.
They would do anything to win. It felt right to them much like it
would feel right to a lesser man to run away. It was no different
from that swim during BUD/S – in the face of an impossibility, they
just got going. This trained confidence gave Tom the belief he
would not get captured on his missions. It was not because he could
defeat entire armies singlehandedly. It was because he knew he
would end up fighting with his fists if he had to. It felt
right.
Mr. Lee and Jiyeon had been sitting frozen
when Tom got up and walked over to Mr. Lee. They shook hands and
Tom patted him on the back.
“ Thanks for your help and
sorry about 1414,” he said.
“ We were told to help you
any way we can. So let us know if you need anything
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