Read Online Destroy All Cars by Blake Nelson - Free Book Online
Authors: Blake Nelson
Tags: Fiction
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Ohâ¦Jamesâ¦
ME: Hey.
LUCY: Hey.
ME: Whatâs up?
LUCY: Not much. Getting ready for class.
ME: Oh yeah?
LUCY: Yeah. Whatâs up with you?
ME: Nothing. I justâ¦I just saw you and thought I should, you knowâ¦see whatâs up.
LUCY: Not much. Youâre lookinâ at it!
ME: Yeah. I guess so.
LUCY: Yeah.
ME: â¦
LUCY: â¦
ME: So I, uhâ¦saw you at the mall the other day.
LUCY: I saw you, too.
ME: Concourse B.
LUCY: What?
ME: Thatâs where you were. On Concourse B.
LUCY: Oh.
ME: Because the different sections have different names? Like Concourse A? And Concourse B?
LUCY: Oh.
ME: Sometimes I notice things like that.
LUCY: I just try to remember where I parked! Ha ha.
ME: Me, too. I hate that. Ha haâ
LUCY: Ha ha. Or at Nordstrom, you go out the wrong door and then youâre in this, like, sea of cars.
ME: Ha ha. I hate cars.
LUCY: And they have those letters you can never remember.
ME: I know. Itâs not very linear.
LUCY: It can get confusing. Ha ha.
ME: Yeah, I know what you meanâ
LUCY: Ha ha.
ME: Ha ha.
LUCY: â¦
ME: So, yeah. I guess the reason I wanted toâ¦
LUCY: Yeah?
ME: Stop by, and, you know, say hiâ¦and see what was upâ¦isâ¦
LUCY: Is?
ME: Thatâs the thingâ¦I wanted toâ¦ask you. Do you ever, likeâ¦
LUCY: What?
ME: Do you everâ¦or would you ever, like, wannaâ¦you knowâ¦go to a movie or somethingâ¦?
LUCY: Oh.
ME: â
LUCY: â
ME: I mean, not like, notâ
LUCY: No. Thatâs okay. What movie?
ME: Just whatever. A movie.
LUCY: Movies are good.
ME: We could just, you knowâ¦or we donât have toâ
LUCY: No, but yeah, if you want toâ¦we could.
ME: Which one, though? Or do you care?
LUCY: I donât care. I just. I kinda donât like scary movies.
ME: Yeah? Me neither.
LUCY: My cousin rented The Hills Have Eyes 3. Oh my God. Have you seen that?
ME: Kinda, yeahâ
LUCY: Oh my God, it was so gross. I mean, like, this guy gets dropped in a well, with all these human heads bobbing around!â
ME: I hate bobbing heads.
LUCY: Yeah, right? Ha ha. It was disgusting.
ME: Okay. Well. Like maybe some other one then?
LUCY: I would be into that.
ME: When? Like, when would be a good time?
LUCY: When were you thinking?
ME: This weekend, possibly? If you can. Becauseâ¦or you knowâ¦if youâre not busy.
LUCY: No, I can. But not on Saturday. Because I have to babysit.
ME: We could meet at the theater.
LUCY: Okay, or. Do you have a car?
ME: Not at the moment.
LUCY: Okay. We could meet there.
ME: So is Friday okay?
LUCY: Friday works.
ME: Yeah. Friday. Maybe I should email you.
LUCY: Email?
ME: Or call you. Iâll call you. Iâll totally call you.
LUCY: Yeah, okay. Why donât you call me?
ME: Iâll call you. What movie, though?
LUCY: I donât know. I donât know what you like.
ME: Iâll call you.
LUCY: You can pick. Do you have my number?
ME: No. Can you give it to me?
LUCY: Here. Wait. Iâll write it down.
ME: Cool. Thanks. Iâll call you.
PORTRAIT OF A YOUNG MAN ON A DATE (A SHORT STORY)
The boy sits on his bed and thinks. He has never been on a real date before. He is extremely nervous. He feels physically ill. He tries to remember why he wanted to do this. He canât remember.
He puts on his coat and leaves his house and rides the bus downtown to the movie theater. He has left plenty of time to get there, but the bus ride takes forever. He canât believe how long it takes. The bus stops every two seconds to let on some weird person who canât speak English or doesnât understand money or needs directions to some other town or city or country. Then a very large woman gets on with eight shopping bags but she doesnât have enough money so the driver kicks her off and she has to move her very large self and all her eight bags back off the bus, which takes about an
ME: Hey.
LUCY: Hey.
ME: Whatâs up?
LUCY: Not much. Getting ready for class.
ME: Oh yeah?
LUCY: Yeah. Whatâs up with you?
ME: Nothing. I justâ¦I just saw you and thought I should, you knowâ¦see whatâs up.
LUCY: Not much. Youâre lookinâ at it!
ME: Yeah. I guess so.
LUCY: Yeah.
ME: â¦
LUCY: â¦
ME: So I, uhâ¦saw you at the mall the other day.
LUCY: I saw you, too.
ME: Concourse B.
LUCY: What?
ME: Thatâs where you were. On Concourse B.
LUCY: Oh.
ME: Because the different sections have different names? Like Concourse A? And Concourse B?
LUCY: Oh.
ME: Sometimes I notice things like that.
LUCY: I just try to remember where I parked! Ha ha.
ME: Me, too. I hate that. Ha haâ
LUCY: Ha ha. Or at Nordstrom, you go out the wrong door and then youâre in this, like, sea of cars.
ME: Ha ha. I hate cars.
LUCY: And they have those letters you can never remember.
ME: I know. Itâs not very linear.
LUCY: It can get confusing. Ha ha.
ME: Yeah, I know what you meanâ
LUCY: Ha ha.
ME: Ha ha.
LUCY: â¦
ME: So, yeah. I guess the reason I wanted toâ¦
LUCY: Yeah?
ME: Stop by, and, you know, say hiâ¦and see what was upâ¦isâ¦
LUCY: Is?
ME: Thatâs the thingâ¦I wanted toâ¦ask you. Do you ever, likeâ¦
LUCY: What?
ME: Do you everâ¦or would you ever, like, wannaâ¦you knowâ¦go to a movie or somethingâ¦?
LUCY: Oh.
ME: â
LUCY: â
ME: I mean, not like, notâ
LUCY: No. Thatâs okay. What movie?
ME: Just whatever. A movie.
LUCY: Movies are good.
ME: We could just, you knowâ¦or we donât have toâ
LUCY: No, but yeah, if you want toâ¦we could.
ME: Which one, though? Or do you care?
LUCY: I donât care. I just. I kinda donât like scary movies.
ME: Yeah? Me neither.
LUCY: My cousin rented The Hills Have Eyes 3. Oh my God. Have you seen that?
ME: Kinda, yeahâ
LUCY: Oh my God, it was so gross. I mean, like, this guy gets dropped in a well, with all these human heads bobbing around!â
ME: I hate bobbing heads.
LUCY: Yeah, right? Ha ha. It was disgusting.
ME: Okay. Well. Like maybe some other one then?
LUCY: I would be into that.
ME: When? Like, when would be a good time?
LUCY: When were you thinking?
ME: This weekend, possibly? If you can. Becauseâ¦or you knowâ¦if youâre not busy.
LUCY: No, I can. But not on Saturday. Because I have to babysit.
ME: We could meet at the theater.
LUCY: Okay, or. Do you have a car?
ME: Not at the moment.
LUCY: Okay. We could meet there.
ME: So is Friday okay?
LUCY: Friday works.
ME: Yeah. Friday. Maybe I should email you.
LUCY: Email?
ME: Or call you. Iâll call you. Iâll totally call you.
LUCY: Yeah, okay. Why donât you call me?
ME: Iâll call you. What movie, though?
LUCY: I donât know. I donât know what you like.
ME: Iâll call you.
LUCY: You can pick. Do you have my number?
ME: No. Can you give it to me?
LUCY: Here. Wait. Iâll write it down.
ME: Cool. Thanks. Iâll call you.
PORTRAIT OF A YOUNG MAN ON A DATE (A SHORT STORY)
The boy sits on his bed and thinks. He has never been on a real date before. He is extremely nervous. He feels physically ill. He tries to remember why he wanted to do this. He canât remember.
He puts on his coat and leaves his house and rides the bus downtown to the movie theater. He has left plenty of time to get there, but the bus ride takes forever. He canât believe how long it takes. The bus stops every two seconds to let on some weird person who canât speak English or doesnât understand money or needs directions to some other town or city or country. Then a very large woman gets on with eight shopping bags but she doesnât have enough money so the driver kicks her off and she has to move her very large self and all her eight bags back off the bus, which takes about an
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