Read Online Destroy All Cars by Blake Nelson - Free Book Online

Oh…James…
    ME: Hey.
    LUCY: Hey.
    ME: What’s up?
    LUCY: Not much. Getting ready for class.
    ME: Oh yeah?
    LUCY: Yeah. What’s up with you?
    ME: Nothing. I just…I just saw you and thought I should, you know…see what’s up.
    LUCY: Not much. You’re lookin’ at it!
    ME: Yeah. I guess so.
    LUCY: Yeah.
    ME: …
    LUCY: …
    ME: So I, uh…saw you at the mall the other day.
    LUCY: I saw you, too.
    ME: Concourse B.
    LUCY: What?
    ME: That’s where you were. On Concourse B.
    LUCY: Oh.
    ME: Because the different sections have different names? Like Concourse A? And Concourse B?
    LUCY: Oh.
    ME: Sometimes I notice things like that.
    LUCY: I just try to remember where I parked! Ha ha.
    ME: Me, too. I hate that. Ha ha—
    LUCY: Ha ha. Or at Nordstrom, you go out the wrong door and then you’re in this, like, sea of cars.
    ME: Ha ha. I hate cars.
    LUCY: And they have those letters you can never remember.
    ME: I know. It’s not very linear.
    LUCY: It can get confusing. Ha ha.
    ME: Yeah, I know what you mean—
    LUCY: Ha ha.
    ME: Ha ha.
    LUCY: …
    ME: So, yeah. I guess the reason I wanted to…
    LUCY: Yeah?
    ME: Stop by, and, you know, say hi…and see what was up…is…
    LUCY: Is?
    ME: That’s the thing…I wanted to…ask you. Do you ever, like…
    LUCY: What?
    ME: Do you ever…or would you ever, like, wanna…you know…go to a movie or something…?
    LUCY: Oh.
    ME: —
    LUCY: —
    ME: I mean, not like, not—
    LUCY: No. That’s okay. What movie?
    ME: Just whatever. A movie.
    LUCY: Movies are good.
    ME: We could just, you know…or we don’t have to—
    LUCY: No, but yeah, if you want to…we could.
    ME: Which one, though? Or do you care?
    LUCY: I don’t care. I just. I kinda don’t like scary movies.
    ME: Yeah? Me neither.
    LUCY: My cousin rented The Hills Have Eyes 3. Oh my God. Have you seen that?
    ME: Kinda, yeah—
    LUCY: Oh my God, it was so gross. I mean, like, this guy gets dropped in a well, with all these human heads bobbing around!—
    ME: I hate bobbing heads.
    LUCY: Yeah, right? Ha ha. It was disgusting.
    ME: Okay. Well. Like maybe some other one then?
    LUCY: I would be into that.
    ME: When? Like, when would be a good time?
    LUCY: When were you thinking?
    ME: This weekend, possibly? If you can. Because…or you know…if you’re not busy.
    LUCY: No, I can. But not on Saturday. Because I have to babysit.
    ME: We could meet at the theater.
    LUCY: Okay, or. Do you have a car?
    ME: Not at the moment.
    LUCY: Okay. We could meet there.
    ME: So is Friday okay?
    LUCY: Friday works.
    ME: Yeah. Friday. Maybe I should email you.
    LUCY: Email?
    ME: Or call you. I’ll call you. I’ll totally call you.
    LUCY: Yeah, okay. Why don’t you call me?
    ME: I’ll call you. What movie, though?
    LUCY: I don’t know. I don’t know what you like.
    ME: I’ll call you.
    LUCY: You can pick. Do you have my number?
    ME: No. Can you give it to me?
    LUCY: Here. Wait. I’ll write it down.
    ME: Cool. Thanks. I’ll call you.
PORTRAIT OF A YOUNG MAN ON A DATE (A SHORT STORY)
    The boy sits on his bed and thinks. He has never been on a real date before. He is extremely nervous. He feels physically ill. He tries to remember why he wanted to do this. He can’t remember.
    He puts on his coat and leaves his house and rides the bus downtown to the movie theater. He has left plenty of time to get there, but the bus ride takes forever. He can’t believe how long it takes. The bus stops every two seconds to let on some weird person who can’t speak English or doesn’t understand money or needs directions to some other town or city or country. Then a very large woman gets on with eight shopping bags but she doesn’t have enough money so the driver kicks her off and she has to move her very large self and all her eight bags back off the bus, which takes about an