I'm really not capable of offering anything like that.” I’d hoped she’d walk away but instead, she stared at me for what felt like forever.
Tears started to fall from her eyes. “I didn't think I had any tears left,” she said, pulling out a handkerchief.
“Please don’t be upset. It’s really for the better that we’re no longer together.” I stood there not knowing what to say as she tried to calm herself down. My stomach churned.
“Matt got into trouble and has been in the hospital.”
I couldn't hear her very well and I hoped I had misunderstood what she had just said. “I'm sorry, I didn’t understand. What are you talking about?”
She held her head up higher, like she had to physically force the words out louder. “Matt came home drunk last Friday night. Some friend of his brought him in and the noise woke up my husband. His dad—well, stepdad—was so mad at him for being drunk he tried to beat the alcohol out of him. At least that's what he said when I talked to the police. I got home later that night from work and found Matt on the floor, unconscious. We’d hoped he’d wake up already, but there is so much brain damage. My husband is now in jail and I have no one to help me.” She sank down to the floor and began sobbing into her hands.
My mom rushed past me and knelt down to try to comfort her. I stood there motionless, in shock. I felt Dillon's arm come up around my neck and he tried to pull me into a hug. His touch felt like fire on my skin. I had to get out of there. I pushed him away and ran up to my room. By the time I slammed the door, I couldn't breathe. I gasped for air as my body trembled uncontrollably. There were no tears in my eyes, but they burned. I bent down with my head between my legs, trying to regain control, but it got worse the more I tried to get it together.
Getting out of the house was what I needed to do. I threw my ladder down, ran straight to my car, and started driving, not looking back. I drove to Kat's apartment. She always knew how to calm me down.
I got there fast, thankfully. Her mom's car was parked out front. I knew her mom was probably sleeping, but I knocked on the door as hard as I could until Kat finally opened it.
“Alissa, what the hell is going on?”
“I...I can't breathe.” I fell into Kat's arms. She led me over to the couch and sat down next to me, brushing my hair from my face.
Clinging to Kat calmed me down. I hid my head in her neck, letting the darkness ease the throbbing in my head. Minutes later my head cleared enough to tell her what Matt's mom had said. “She said his dad is the one who hurt him the night Scott dropped him off. Or did she say stepdad? I don’t know!” I had to calm myself down again because my breathing was picking up speed. At this rate, I was going to pass out.
“It's my fault.” I leaned back away from Kat. She was looking at me dumbfounded.
“What's your fault?”
“It's my fault. I should have taken him home myself. I should have taken him to his window and made sure his dad didn't wake up.”
“No, Alissa. It isn't your fault. You couldn't have known what would happen, or that his dad would beat the crap out of him.” Kat brought her knees up to her chest and hugged her legs. Tears started pooling in her eyes and she held her head down.
I wanted to feel upset, but what I felt was anger. “I only assumed his dad had hit him before. I was too afraid to ask him, but part of me knew. I should never have let Scott take him home.”
“Do you think Scott had anything to do with it?” Kat asked. I almost laughed because she had to be joking. Her hand covered her mouth and her eyes got wide, looking like she wished she could take the words back.
“Why would you even say that?” I jumped up and paced back and forth, not able to sit still any longer. “Scott didn't make his dad beat him up. Scott has always been there to help him. Why would you think that?”
“Alissa, ever since Scott became
Tears started to fall from her eyes. “I didn't think I had any tears left,” she said, pulling out a handkerchief.
“Please don’t be upset. It’s really for the better that we’re no longer together.” I stood there not knowing what to say as she tried to calm herself down. My stomach churned.
“Matt got into trouble and has been in the hospital.”
I couldn't hear her very well and I hoped I had misunderstood what she had just said. “I'm sorry, I didn’t understand. What are you talking about?”
She held her head up higher, like she had to physically force the words out louder. “Matt came home drunk last Friday night. Some friend of his brought him in and the noise woke up my husband. His dad—well, stepdad—was so mad at him for being drunk he tried to beat the alcohol out of him. At least that's what he said when I talked to the police. I got home later that night from work and found Matt on the floor, unconscious. We’d hoped he’d wake up already, but there is so much brain damage. My husband is now in jail and I have no one to help me.” She sank down to the floor and began sobbing into her hands.
My mom rushed past me and knelt down to try to comfort her. I stood there motionless, in shock. I felt Dillon's arm come up around my neck and he tried to pull me into a hug. His touch felt like fire on my skin. I had to get out of there. I pushed him away and ran up to my room. By the time I slammed the door, I couldn't breathe. I gasped for air as my body trembled uncontrollably. There were no tears in my eyes, but they burned. I bent down with my head between my legs, trying to regain control, but it got worse the more I tried to get it together.
Getting out of the house was what I needed to do. I threw my ladder down, ran straight to my car, and started driving, not looking back. I drove to Kat's apartment. She always knew how to calm me down.
I got there fast, thankfully. Her mom's car was parked out front. I knew her mom was probably sleeping, but I knocked on the door as hard as I could until Kat finally opened it.
“Alissa, what the hell is going on?”
“I...I can't breathe.” I fell into Kat's arms. She led me over to the couch and sat down next to me, brushing my hair from my face.
Clinging to Kat calmed me down. I hid my head in her neck, letting the darkness ease the throbbing in my head. Minutes later my head cleared enough to tell her what Matt's mom had said. “She said his dad is the one who hurt him the night Scott dropped him off. Or did she say stepdad? I don’t know!” I had to calm myself down again because my breathing was picking up speed. At this rate, I was going to pass out.
“It's my fault.” I leaned back away from Kat. She was looking at me dumbfounded.
“What's your fault?”
“It's my fault. I should have taken him home myself. I should have taken him to his window and made sure his dad didn't wake up.”
“No, Alissa. It isn't your fault. You couldn't have known what would happen, or that his dad would beat the crap out of him.” Kat brought her knees up to her chest and hugged her legs. Tears started pooling in her eyes and she held her head down.
I wanted to feel upset, but what I felt was anger. “I only assumed his dad had hit him before. I was too afraid to ask him, but part of me knew. I should never have let Scott take him home.”
“Do you think Scott had anything to do with it?” Kat asked. I almost laughed because she had to be joking. Her hand covered her mouth and her eyes got wide, looking like she wished she could take the words back.
“Why would you even say that?” I jumped up and paced back and forth, not able to sit still any longer. “Scott didn't make his dad beat him up. Scott has always been there to help him. Why would you think that?”
“Alissa, ever since Scott became
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