impatiently for other family members to get out of the bathroom. She pictured in her mind the face of her brother, Johann, as he was that day, looking nervous and anxious as he prepared to tell his family the news. He was her favorite brother, despite being overprotective, who teased her mercilessly but was still there for her with whatever she needed. Whatever she desired, he would make sure she got it. He loved her dearly and she him, more than words could say. However, that particular morning she got very angry with him, a regret which stayed with her for a very long time.
Johann had told his family he and his new wife, Marinka, were going to move out of the family home. Clarissa was shocked and railed on him. How could he leave her? Why did he have to go and leave their residence? Oh sure, it wasn’t like he was departing the area they lived in, but still, they wouldn’t be there when she got up, nor went to bed at night. Also, his wife said none of the family could visit at their new place. Marinka didn’t like Clarissa’s family much, especially her. Marinka felt Clarissa and Johann were just a bit too close for siblings, a bit too affectionate. To this day, Clarissa missed the feeling of him around and protecting her.
She missed the way he would tease her, tell her what to wear and whom she could associate with. Most of all, she missed their discussions about everything imaginable.
Johann had made the declaration to everyone that crisp, bright, cold day. He didn’t even warn her alone, just announced to everyone they would be moving out at the end of the month. Family was only welcomed when they were specifically invited. Clarissa’s heart broke as she ran from the table in tears at the very thought. Johann found her outside, weeping softly. She clung to him as he approached her and begged him not to go. What was she to do without him in her life? How could he be so selfish as to desert them and listen to his wife, leaving his family, tradition and worst of all, abandoning her?
She shook her head now at how foolish she was, how young and greedy for his time and attention she had been. She pushed him away, yelled at him. Johann had reached out to her, told her he would always be there, but she didn’t listen. She didn’t care what he had to say at that point. Her heart ached. She was going to make sure he knew it and hurt him, too. She could never take the words back that she had thrown at him so harshly that morning.
Had she known then it would be the last conversation she had with him, she would have said so many things differently. Who knew her life would change just moments later that day?
As she remembered the chronology of events which took place, she whispered, “I’m so sorry, brother. I need and love you terribly and I miss you so much. I never meant any of the words I said. I was rash and young. I never should have said I hated you more than life itself and wished you were dead, when it was the farthest thing from the truth.”
Although she still could never undo the hurt she caused Johann as her last words rang in the still, cold, crisp air around them before she turned and ran off, she had since seen him to know all was forgiven.
As Clarissa stripped to head for the shower to wash up from the excursions into Maurepas Swamp, she thought about Johann. His last act was to save her as he sacrificed himself so she could get away.
There was nothing she wished she could undo more than those words she never, ever truly meant but instead were said in the heat of anger. How often had she replayed the day in her mind, trying to recall every little detail? Once Clarissa had run from the house, she hid in the woods for hours. Finally, she had calmed herself down enough to try and send a mental message to her family. She was still too upset at Johann and Marinka to see them at the moment but she wanted to go home. She tried to call out to her parents through her telepathy but there was no response. She
Johann had told his family he and his new wife, Marinka, were going to move out of the family home. Clarissa was shocked and railed on him. How could he leave her? Why did he have to go and leave their residence? Oh sure, it wasn’t like he was departing the area they lived in, but still, they wouldn’t be there when she got up, nor went to bed at night. Also, his wife said none of the family could visit at their new place. Marinka didn’t like Clarissa’s family much, especially her. Marinka felt Clarissa and Johann were just a bit too close for siblings, a bit too affectionate. To this day, Clarissa missed the feeling of him around and protecting her.
She missed the way he would tease her, tell her what to wear and whom she could associate with. Most of all, she missed their discussions about everything imaginable.
Johann had made the declaration to everyone that crisp, bright, cold day. He didn’t even warn her alone, just announced to everyone they would be moving out at the end of the month. Family was only welcomed when they were specifically invited. Clarissa’s heart broke as she ran from the table in tears at the very thought. Johann found her outside, weeping softly. She clung to him as he approached her and begged him not to go. What was she to do without him in her life? How could he be so selfish as to desert them and listen to his wife, leaving his family, tradition and worst of all, abandoning her?
She shook her head now at how foolish she was, how young and greedy for his time and attention she had been. She pushed him away, yelled at him. Johann had reached out to her, told her he would always be there, but she didn’t listen. She didn’t care what he had to say at that point. Her heart ached. She was going to make sure he knew it and hurt him, too. She could never take the words back that she had thrown at him so harshly that morning.
Had she known then it would be the last conversation she had with him, she would have said so many things differently. Who knew her life would change just moments later that day?
As she remembered the chronology of events which took place, she whispered, “I’m so sorry, brother. I need and love you terribly and I miss you so much. I never meant any of the words I said. I was rash and young. I never should have said I hated you more than life itself and wished you were dead, when it was the farthest thing from the truth.”
Although she still could never undo the hurt she caused Johann as her last words rang in the still, cold, crisp air around them before she turned and ran off, she had since seen him to know all was forgiven.
As Clarissa stripped to head for the shower to wash up from the excursions into Maurepas Swamp, she thought about Johann. His last act was to save her as he sacrificed himself so she could get away.
There was nothing she wished she could undo more than those words she never, ever truly meant but instead were said in the heat of anger. How often had she replayed the day in her mind, trying to recall every little detail? Once Clarissa had run from the house, she hid in the woods for hours. Finally, she had calmed herself down enough to try and send a mental message to her family. She was still too upset at Johann and Marinka to see them at the moment but she wanted to go home. She tried to call out to her parents through her telepathy but there was no response. She
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