meal?”
“Unfortunately I can,” I said, images of Ma Willis flitting through my brain.
We spent the next fifteen minutes or so sucking up chocolate as Taylor shared her dreams of some day becoming a great writer.
“Just like Isabel Allende,” she said. “Only American, of course. And taller. With a really cute husband.”
When she’d had her fill of M&M’s, she bid me a fond farewell and headed back to her room.
By now it was after midnight and even my sugar rush couldn’t stem the tide of my exhaustion. I quickly got undressed and brushed my teeth, counting the seconds till my head hit the Amada Inn’s rock-hard pillow.
But just as I was about to pull back the comforter, there was a knock on my door.
Could it be Taylor, back for some more M&M’s?
With a sigh, I shuffled over to the door and opened it.
Imagine my surprise when I saw Lance.
“Lance! What are you doing here?”
“I’m going down to Palm Springs with Gary.”
“Who’s Gary?”
“The UPS guy! I finally got up my courage and asked him out. We had dinner tonight at the most divine sushi place, and over California rolls we decided to spend the weekend at Gary’s condo in Palm Springs. Isn’t that the most exciting news ever?”
At which point I heard a piercing yowl and looked down to see a cat carrier. With Prozac inside. She looked none too happy.
Stuff a sock in it, willya, and get me out of this cage!
“I almost forgot,” Lance said. “I came to drop off Prozac. Gary’s allergic to cats.”
I unlatched the carrier and Prozac came charging out, taking stock of her new surroundings. Alas, she was not impressed. I could tell by the dismissive thump of her tail.
I’ve seen bigger rooms in a Roach Motel.
Then she scampered onto the bed and curled up on its one and only pillow. I knew from past experience it would take an atom bomb to wrench it from her.
It looked like I’d be sleeping without a pillow that night.
“Here’s her litter box,” Lance said, lugging it in from the hallway. “And by the way, the clerk at the front desk said they charge an extra fifty bucks a night for pets.”
Oh, groan. What would Heather say when she heard about this?
“Awfully close to the freeway, aren’t you, hon?” Lance said, gazing out my window. “Wow, I can almost read that guy’s speedometer! Oh, well. At least one of us will be staying someplace nice this weekend.”
Then, checking his watch, he exclaimed, “Gotta run! Mamie’s waiting for me in the car. I don’t suppose you’d consider taking care of her while I’m at Gary’s, would you?”
“No, I would not!”
“Okay, okay. Just asking.”
And off he scooted into the night, grinning the same idiotic grin he always grins when he thinks he’s in love.
I only hoped Gary’s condo had wood rot.
YOU’VE GOT MAIL
To: Jausten
From: Shoptillyoudrop
Subject: Only a Matter of Time
It’s just as I suspected. Daddy’s taken apart Nellybelle’s engine and has the pieces scattered all over the garage. He’ll never in a million years be able to put it back together again! And thank heavens he wouldn’t dream of doing the sensible thing and calling a mechanic.
It’s only a matter of time before the garbage men are carting it away.
Meanwhile, I’m off to pick up my dress for the fashion show—
XOXO,
Mom
To: Jausten
From: DaddyO
Subject: Only a Matter of Time
Dearest Lambchop—
You’ll be happy to know I’ve been hard at work tinkering with Nellybelle’s engine. It’s only a matter of time before I have her purring like a kitten!
Love ’n’ snuggles from
Daddy
P.S. It’s strange. I thought for sure your mom would tell me to call in a professional to fix Nellybelle like she always does when we have trouble around the house. But oddly enough, she hasn’t said a word. In fact, she’s been encouraging me to do the job myself. I guess at long last she’s come to appreciate my skills as a
“Unfortunately I can,” I said, images of Ma Willis flitting through my brain.
We spent the next fifteen minutes or so sucking up chocolate as Taylor shared her dreams of some day becoming a great writer.
“Just like Isabel Allende,” she said. “Only American, of course. And taller. With a really cute husband.”
When she’d had her fill of M&M’s, she bid me a fond farewell and headed back to her room.
By now it was after midnight and even my sugar rush couldn’t stem the tide of my exhaustion. I quickly got undressed and brushed my teeth, counting the seconds till my head hit the Amada Inn’s rock-hard pillow.
But just as I was about to pull back the comforter, there was a knock on my door.
Could it be Taylor, back for some more M&M’s?
With a sigh, I shuffled over to the door and opened it.
Imagine my surprise when I saw Lance.
“Lance! What are you doing here?”
“I’m going down to Palm Springs with Gary.”
“Who’s Gary?”
“The UPS guy! I finally got up my courage and asked him out. We had dinner tonight at the most divine sushi place, and over California rolls we decided to spend the weekend at Gary’s condo in Palm Springs. Isn’t that the most exciting news ever?”
At which point I heard a piercing yowl and looked down to see a cat carrier. With Prozac inside. She looked none too happy.
Stuff a sock in it, willya, and get me out of this cage!
“I almost forgot,” Lance said. “I came to drop off Prozac. Gary’s allergic to cats.”
I unlatched the carrier and Prozac came charging out, taking stock of her new surroundings. Alas, she was not impressed. I could tell by the dismissive thump of her tail.
I’ve seen bigger rooms in a Roach Motel.
Then she scampered onto the bed and curled up on its one and only pillow. I knew from past experience it would take an atom bomb to wrench it from her.
It looked like I’d be sleeping without a pillow that night.
“Here’s her litter box,” Lance said, lugging it in from the hallway. “And by the way, the clerk at the front desk said they charge an extra fifty bucks a night for pets.”
Oh, groan. What would Heather say when she heard about this?
“Awfully close to the freeway, aren’t you, hon?” Lance said, gazing out my window. “Wow, I can almost read that guy’s speedometer! Oh, well. At least one of us will be staying someplace nice this weekend.”
Then, checking his watch, he exclaimed, “Gotta run! Mamie’s waiting for me in the car. I don’t suppose you’d consider taking care of her while I’m at Gary’s, would you?”
“No, I would not!”
“Okay, okay. Just asking.”
And off he scooted into the night, grinning the same idiotic grin he always grins when he thinks he’s in love.
I only hoped Gary’s condo had wood rot.
YOU’VE GOT MAIL
To: Jausten
From: Shoptillyoudrop
Subject: Only a Matter of Time
It’s just as I suspected. Daddy’s taken apart Nellybelle’s engine and has the pieces scattered all over the garage. He’ll never in a million years be able to put it back together again! And thank heavens he wouldn’t dream of doing the sensible thing and calling a mechanic.
It’s only a matter of time before the garbage men are carting it away.
Meanwhile, I’m off to pick up my dress for the fashion show—
XOXO,
Mom
To: Jausten
From: DaddyO
Subject: Only a Matter of Time
Dearest Lambchop—
You’ll be happy to know I’ve been hard at work tinkering with Nellybelle’s engine. It’s only a matter of time before I have her purring like a kitten!
Love ’n’ snuggles from
Daddy
P.S. It’s strange. I thought for sure your mom would tell me to call in a professional to fix Nellybelle like she always does when we have trouble around the house. But oddly enough, she hasn’t said a word. In fact, she’s been encouraging me to do the job myself. I guess at long last she’s come to appreciate my skills as a
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