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Authors: Virna Depaul
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grabs.”
“But it’s not up for grabs now, is it? You’ve apparently taken it over.”
“So long as I’m in jail, there’ll be plenty of contenders. But taking over his game? Yes, it was the plan all along, babe.”
“Since when?”
He stared at her though hooded eyes. “Since you and I both accepted what I truly am.”
“I never accepted that you were a bad man or a criminal, Tony. Just because you make mistakes doesn’t mean you’re unlovable. I just couldn’t be with you. You know why. You know what you are.”
As if unable to keep still any longer, she stood and paced beside his bed. He watched her with his heart in his throat. Her long-limbed stride was beautiful. Graceful. Agitated.
She suddenly halted and placed her hands on her hips. “Why?”
He dragged his gaze from her hips to her face. “Why what?”
“Why are you trying so hard to convince me you’re a bad guy? Why did you confess to murdering Guapo? Given our history, given how susceptible I’ve always been where you’re concerned, why aren’t you trying to play me? To gain some leniency? It’s what most people would do in your situation.”
He forced himself to smirk. “I hear the rumors. I know how hard you’re working to be a judge. To get the respectability you’ve always wanted. Maybe I just don’t want to ruin that for you. Or maybe throwing me out of your life finally proved to me how unsusceptible to me you really are.”
“Stop trying to make me feel guilty for that, damn it. It wasn’t what I wanted. But you gave me no choice.”
He scowled and before he could stop himself, he spoke from his heart rather than from his head. “How? By being weak? By being tempted to do something I knew I shouldn’t? Making mistakes doesn’t mean I’m unworthy of being loved, Linda? Isn’t that what you said? What a crock. You kicked me out of your life.”
“Not because I didn’t love you! Because you got hold of those pills knowing full well you were going to take them, Tony. If not that night, then on another one. You chose them over me and I couldn’t trust you anymore.”
“Well, we’ll never know for sure whether I would have taken them, will we?”
She froze. “What do you mean? It’s been years since we broke up...eighteen months since Mattie left...are you trying to tell me you never took those pills? That you’ve been clean since—”
That’s exactly what he’d been implying, but it had been a damn stupid move. Somehow he managed to keep his gaze directly on hers. “I didn’t say any such thing. Even if I had, you’d be a fool to believe me, wouldn’t you?”
She had nothing to say to that. And he knew she was getting ready to leave.
Desperately, without meaning to, he tried to stop her. “So despite throwing me out of your life, are you saying you are still susceptible to me?”
Her mouth pressed into a thin, bitter line. “I really would be a fool to admit that, wouldn’t I?”
The way she echoed his own words made him sigh. “Yeah. You would. Because you know who I am, Linda. I don’t have to pretend with you. Even when we were together, I always knew what I was.”
“You were always a little too willing to think badly of yourself. I suppose I didn’t help you with that, did I? Yet aside from the drugs, you always did the right thing, Tony. You were almost too damn perfect, in fact. I saw it most in how you were with Mattie and Jordan. Anything they needed, you were there, even before they could think to ask. You never forgot Jordan’s birthday. You were there for every ballet recital. You were there to babysit anytime Mattie needed you. And you didn’t just help your family, Tony. You helped total strangers. Do you remember Mrs. Ramsey from the Sunrise Nursing Home? She still asks about you. Still asks about those damn chocolate-chip cookies you used to bring them. You brightened up the day of total strangers and were always putting others first. You did it again a few hours ago by
“But it’s not up for grabs now, is it? You’ve apparently taken it over.”
“So long as I’m in jail, there’ll be plenty of contenders. But taking over his game? Yes, it was the plan all along, babe.”
“Since when?”
He stared at her though hooded eyes. “Since you and I both accepted what I truly am.”
“I never accepted that you were a bad man or a criminal, Tony. Just because you make mistakes doesn’t mean you’re unlovable. I just couldn’t be with you. You know why. You know what you are.”
As if unable to keep still any longer, she stood and paced beside his bed. He watched her with his heart in his throat. Her long-limbed stride was beautiful. Graceful. Agitated.
She suddenly halted and placed her hands on her hips. “Why?”
He dragged his gaze from her hips to her face. “Why what?”
“Why are you trying so hard to convince me you’re a bad guy? Why did you confess to murdering Guapo? Given our history, given how susceptible I’ve always been where you’re concerned, why aren’t you trying to play me? To gain some leniency? It’s what most people would do in your situation.”
He forced himself to smirk. “I hear the rumors. I know how hard you’re working to be a judge. To get the respectability you’ve always wanted. Maybe I just don’t want to ruin that for you. Or maybe throwing me out of your life finally proved to me how unsusceptible to me you really are.”
“Stop trying to make me feel guilty for that, damn it. It wasn’t what I wanted. But you gave me no choice.”
He scowled and before he could stop himself, he spoke from his heart rather than from his head. “How? By being weak? By being tempted to do something I knew I shouldn’t? Making mistakes doesn’t mean I’m unworthy of being loved, Linda? Isn’t that what you said? What a crock. You kicked me out of your life.”
“Not because I didn’t love you! Because you got hold of those pills knowing full well you were going to take them, Tony. If not that night, then on another one. You chose them over me and I couldn’t trust you anymore.”
“Well, we’ll never know for sure whether I would have taken them, will we?”
She froze. “What do you mean? It’s been years since we broke up...eighteen months since Mattie left...are you trying to tell me you never took those pills? That you’ve been clean since—”
That’s exactly what he’d been implying, but it had been a damn stupid move. Somehow he managed to keep his gaze directly on hers. “I didn’t say any such thing. Even if I had, you’d be a fool to believe me, wouldn’t you?”
She had nothing to say to that. And he knew she was getting ready to leave.
Desperately, without meaning to, he tried to stop her. “So despite throwing me out of your life, are you saying you are still susceptible to me?”
Her mouth pressed into a thin, bitter line. “I really would be a fool to admit that, wouldn’t I?”
The way she echoed his own words made him sigh. “Yeah. You would. Because you know who I am, Linda. I don’t have to pretend with you. Even when we were together, I always knew what I was.”
“You were always a little too willing to think badly of yourself. I suppose I didn’t help you with that, did I? Yet aside from the drugs, you always did the right thing, Tony. You were almost too damn perfect, in fact. I saw it most in how you were with Mattie and Jordan. Anything they needed, you were there, even before they could think to ask. You never forgot Jordan’s birthday. You were there for every ballet recital. You were there to babysit anytime Mattie needed you. And you didn’t just help your family, Tony. You helped total strangers. Do you remember Mrs. Ramsey from the Sunrise Nursing Home? She still asks about you. Still asks about those damn chocolate-chip cookies you used to bring them. You brightened up the day of total strangers and were always putting others first. You did it again a few hours ago by
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