,â says Dex.
âYes, but getting shot at means that sooner or later one of those bullets is going to hit the target. Think of this as a dry run.â
âDry run in stupidity.â
âItâs a controlled experiment.â
Dex shakes his head. âThis is so stupid, Jack.â
âNo, itâs not. I have no idea what it feels like. The first time is going to be a shock no matter what, and I donât want that to happen out in the field. By doing it like this, Iâll at least know what to expect. Itâs building the muscle memory, thatâs all. Iâm just desensitizing my body to it.â
âAre you even listening to yourself? Youâre talking about desensitizing your body to a bullet, Jack. A bullet.â
âNot the bullet itself, Dex, but the impact.â Actually, now that I do listen to myself, the whole thing does start to sound a little crazy. But then arenât half the things we do crazy? âItâs not like the bullet will pass through the armor.â
âHow can you be sure?â
âBecause this gear is certified to stop a 9mm slug at point-blank range.â
âSays who?â
âI read the instructions.â
âOh, thatâs different,â mocks Dexter. âIf thatâs what the instructions say then this isnât stupid at all.â
âGive me a few feet just to be on the safe side.â
âI donât think there is a safe side here, but Iâll give you five.â
Dexter opens his bag and removes an old pillowcase rolled into a tight bundle. He puts it on the ground and carefully unrolls it to reveal his uncleâs gun. I just stare at it. All my life, this is the closest Iâve ever been to one.
âWhat kind is it?â I ask.
âItâs a Beretta. I donât know the model.â
âBut youâre sure itâs a 9mm?â
âIf it isnât then weâve been using the wrong bullets all these years.â
Because of the new gun-control laws, it is impossible to get a carrying license for modern weapons. However, because of the way the laws were written, any handgun manufactured prior to the formation of the North American Alliance is automatically grandfathered in. Thatâs why the market for âloophole gunsâ is so big. The carrying permits for those are as easy to get as a driverâs license. Thatâs what makes them so valuable. The newer the loophole gun, the more valuable it is.
âI wouldnât do this for anyone,â says Dexter. The way he handles the gun, working the slide and hammer with confidence, you can tell heâs an expert. Thereâs a certain authority in the way he holds it, even in the way he always points it at the ground. He knows exactly what it is, what itâs capable of, and how to use it. You can tell he respects it as much as he commands it. âNo one else but you. You know I hate guns.â
âI know.â
Out in the squatter settlements, guns are a fact of life. Not only did Dexter have to learn how to use one at a very early age, he had to be ready to use it. Not because he was a thug, but just so he could protect his mother when his father and uncle werenât around. The things that can happen to a woman left alone in the settlements are unspeakable. Unspeakable. For that reason alone, Dexter didnât have the luxury of being her child. He had to be another man in the house.
In a way, I think thatâs why he and I get along so well. Our backgrounds couldnât be more different, but the one thing we do have in common is our independence. He and I both had to learn early on how to take care of ourselves. Another thing we have in common is our ambition. When the Drakes finally made it out, it wasnât just the settlements Dexter left behind, it was everything that went along with it, including all those facts of life he once had to live by. Like guns.
Dexter points the gun away and
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