hastily, making Dylan flop sideways. He sat up, looking bewildered. I didn’t want Mum entertaining ideas of me gaining a step-brother, however cute he was.
After dinner, I was curled up on the sofa thinking about everything that had happened earlier. I’d witnessed something horrible but I couldn’t stop going over the moment when we were sat together on the carousel. I caught my breath when I remembered the way Luka looked at me. For a crazy moment I’d actually thought he might be going to kiss me. The more likely explanation was that hanging around in that weird place was making my imagination do mad things.
Mum came into the room with a big B&Q bag. She was grinning a nervous sort of grin. ‘Hey, lazybones,’ she said. ‘How about getting off your bum and giving me a hand?’
She really had no idea how hard a day I’d had, but I swung my legs round and sat up. She pulled a large box out of the bag.
‘What’s that?’ I said, even though the words 4.5 feet Spruce Pine Artificial Tree were clearly written in big letters on the side of the box.
‘It’s a Christmas tree,’ said Mum, her smile faltering. ‘Thought it was about time we made this house a bit more homely. We can decorate it together. Look, I even bought some —’
‘But it’s fake!’ I cut across her. ‘We always have a real tree.’
Mum had been hanging some tinsel around her neck and her arms fell to her sides.
‘I know that,’ she said patiently, ‘but we haven’t got the space now and this one will last for ever. Look, it’s quite nice! Very realistic, in fact.’ She pulled the green plasticky thing out of the box and set about getting it upright.
It did look realistic. You’d never have known it was fake if you had no sense of smell and no soul. It just wasn’t Christmas with a fake tree.
My eyes started to fill up. In that moment I’d have done anything to have a time machine that could take me back to London and my old life, with Dad there. Even if they were fighting, life there was better than this grotty place with scary men and lonely boys with lost eyes and mothers who didn’t even seem to care that they had killed Christmas stone dead.
Mum was staring at me. ‘Bel? What is it?’ She crawled over on her knees and I burst out crying. I just couldn’t stop it. Snot and tears were all down my face but she put her arms around me anyway. I wailed like a baby.
‘Oh Bel,’ she said softly, stroking my hair. ‘I know it’s been hard for you, moving here. And I know how much you’re missing your dad. But we’ll get used to it. It’ll be brilliant in the summer, being by the sea. Everything will be okay, honey, it really will.’
I stopped crying and took my hands away from my face. I knew my eyes had almost disappeared and my nose was still running but I didn’t care. ‘You’ve got to make Dad come for Christmas!’
She frowned. ‘Bel, it’s not as straightforward —’
‘You have to!’ I interrupted. ‘If you tell him you want him here too, he’ll come, I know he will.’
Mum sat back on her heels and studied my face for a long time. When she spoke again her voice was very quiet. ‘I know that you think this is all down to me. But there are complicated things I can’t really explain to you, grown-up things, and —’
‘You made him go, so don’t pretend you didn’t!’
Sometimes I find myself standing and shouting and can’t remember exactly how I got there. This was one of those times.
‘I know that’s what happened! It’s all your fault!’
Mum’s face hardened as she got to her feet too. ‘Bel, you know nothing about it.’
‘Then tell me then!’ I wailed.
Mum looked at me for a long, long time. When she spoke her voice was shaky. ‘It’s over between me and your dad, Bel,’ she said quietly. ‘We’re not going to be living here all together. You have to face that. The truth is that me and your dad, well, we’ve moved on. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way it
After dinner, I was curled up on the sofa thinking about everything that had happened earlier. I’d witnessed something horrible but I couldn’t stop going over the moment when we were sat together on the carousel. I caught my breath when I remembered the way Luka looked at me. For a crazy moment I’d actually thought he might be going to kiss me. The more likely explanation was that hanging around in that weird place was making my imagination do mad things.
Mum came into the room with a big B&Q bag. She was grinning a nervous sort of grin. ‘Hey, lazybones,’ she said. ‘How about getting off your bum and giving me a hand?’
She really had no idea how hard a day I’d had, but I swung my legs round and sat up. She pulled a large box out of the bag.
‘What’s that?’ I said, even though the words 4.5 feet Spruce Pine Artificial Tree were clearly written in big letters on the side of the box.
‘It’s a Christmas tree,’ said Mum, her smile faltering. ‘Thought it was about time we made this house a bit more homely. We can decorate it together. Look, I even bought some —’
‘But it’s fake!’ I cut across her. ‘We always have a real tree.’
Mum had been hanging some tinsel around her neck and her arms fell to her sides.
‘I know that,’ she said patiently, ‘but we haven’t got the space now and this one will last for ever. Look, it’s quite nice! Very realistic, in fact.’ She pulled the green plasticky thing out of the box and set about getting it upright.
It did look realistic. You’d never have known it was fake if you had no sense of smell and no soul. It just wasn’t Christmas with a fake tree.
My eyes started to fill up. In that moment I’d have done anything to have a time machine that could take me back to London and my old life, with Dad there. Even if they were fighting, life there was better than this grotty place with scary men and lonely boys with lost eyes and mothers who didn’t even seem to care that they had killed Christmas stone dead.
Mum was staring at me. ‘Bel? What is it?’ She crawled over on her knees and I burst out crying. I just couldn’t stop it. Snot and tears were all down my face but she put her arms around me anyway. I wailed like a baby.
‘Oh Bel,’ she said softly, stroking my hair. ‘I know it’s been hard for you, moving here. And I know how much you’re missing your dad. But we’ll get used to it. It’ll be brilliant in the summer, being by the sea. Everything will be okay, honey, it really will.’
I stopped crying and took my hands away from my face. I knew my eyes had almost disappeared and my nose was still running but I didn’t care. ‘You’ve got to make Dad come for Christmas!’
She frowned. ‘Bel, it’s not as straightforward —’
‘You have to!’ I interrupted. ‘If you tell him you want him here too, he’ll come, I know he will.’
Mum sat back on her heels and studied my face for a long time. When she spoke again her voice was very quiet. ‘I know that you think this is all down to me. But there are complicated things I can’t really explain to you, grown-up things, and —’
‘You made him go, so don’t pretend you didn’t!’
Sometimes I find myself standing and shouting and can’t remember exactly how I got there. This was one of those times.
‘I know that’s what happened! It’s all your fault!’
Mum’s face hardened as she got to her feet too. ‘Bel, you know nothing about it.’
‘Then tell me then!’ I wailed.
Mum looked at me for a long, long time. When she spoke her voice was shaky. ‘It’s over between me and your dad, Bel,’ she said quietly. ‘We’re not going to be living here all together. You have to face that. The truth is that me and your dad, well, we’ve moved on. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way it
Similar Books
