Cooper who were usually relaxed from all of the morning loving. I had learned days earlier not to leave my room without peeking out first and making sure the lovebirds weren’t going at it in the living room, kitchen, hallways, etc.
After they left for school, I cleaned up the kitchen and did laundry while watching reruns of old TV shows like Supernatural , Buffy the Vampire Slayer , and Angel . TNT had become my new best friend. By ten, I ended up on the couch watching Charmed as Cooper’s four giant dogs conked out around me after their morning in the yard. We all dozed off until noon when I’d feed us.
My life was spent waiting for Farah to return home to play with me. Unfortunately, Cooper wanted to play with her too. As soon as they returned home, they played for a while in the shower and bedroom. Hours might pass before they appeared downstairs. Then, we’d either order in or go out, but Farah and Cooper usually had to work on schoolwork when the meal was done.
“I’m bored,” I told Farah one day.
Her solution was to invite over Cooper’s mom, sisters, and Skye for lunch that Saturday. Cooper and Tucker decided the estrogen level would be too cringe-inducing, so the muscular blonds left for a mysterious errand.
Tiny Barbie doll Skye Goldstein was the first to arrive and I immediately felt like she didn’t want to be there. Farah barely paid attention to her because she was so busy goofing around with me. After mumbling a hello, Skye began texting and didn’t stop until Bailey arrived.
As blonde as Skye, Maddy walked in before Bailey and smiled at me in a weird way. Sensing she was wary of new people, I didn’t blame her since I didn’t enjoy meets and greets either. Farah immediately put her at ease though by asking about the baby. Maddy’s expression lit up as she talked about her little girl and showed off ultrasound pictures from her six month checkup.
“More lame pictures,” Bailey said as she entered the house wearing a frown. “They’re not even cute.”
Bailey looked me over before dismissing me with an eye roll. Beautiful, blonde, and bitchy, Bailey was just the way others described her. The minute she walked into the house, everyone’s moods shifted. Well, not the equally blonde Jodi and Sawyer who followed her into the house and ignored her loud behavior while sitting around and making chitchat.
Surrounded by beautiful blondes, I avoided Bailey and focused on the other women. Yet, Skye showed no interest in me while Maddy hid in her head as soon as Bailey mouthed off. In the kitchen, six year old Sawyer only had eyes for Farah as they baked cookies. Back in the living room, Jodi asked me a few questions about if I liked Ellsberg. Once I smiled and nodded, she was done with me, instead lighting a cigarette while playing with Cooper’s dogs.
Helping Farah in the kitchen, I really wished everyone would leave. This desire only grew when the time arrived to order pizzas.
Maddy suddenly awoke from her dream state and smiled. “I’d like mushrooms,” she said, rubbing her belly. “I really crave mushrooms lately.”
Bailey snorted. “Mushrooms suck and anyone who likes them has shit taste.”
“It’s the hormones.”
“Maybe your baby is the one with bad taste then?”
“You’re kidding, right?” I asked, irritated.
Bailey turned her grumpy blue-eyed gaze on me. “No, bitch, I’m not.”
“I like mushrooms. Lots of people do. Just because you don’t like mushrooms doesn’t make them suck.”
“Fuck you. I have good taste.”
“Everyone thinks they have good taste.”
Stepping closer, Bailey glared at me. “Are you saying I’m lying?”
Staring right into Bailey’s challenging expression, I said, “I’m saying you have an opinion, but that doesn’t make you right. In my opinion, you’re wrong about mushrooms.”
“And you think we’re equals, do you, bitch?”
“Stop calling me a bitch.”
“Did you just fucking tell me what to do, bitch? Be
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