you think about it, God’s requests in the Old Testament took a dramatic leap in difficulty. “Don’t eat that apple!” “Build a boat!” Then, out of nowhere, “Cut off part of your penis!” I imagine Abraham was like, “Uh, how about I build two boats and no more bananas?”
We have to assume Abraham went through with God’s request. I’m not sure how Abraham hid this adjustment from his wife. Maybe he didn’t. Maybe he was getting out of the shower and his wife was brushing her teeth.
WIFE: What the hell have you done?
ABRAHAM: Honey, I can explain … God told me to do it.
WIFE: What? What if God told you to jump off a bridge? What if God told you to sacrifice our firstborn son?
ABRAHAM: Actually, I have to talk to you about that one …
Circumcision is a tough decision for any parent. Do you put your newborn son through an enormous amount of unnecessary pain, or do you have a kid with an ugly penis? Unfortunately, Jeannie left the decision up to me. I decided to go through with it, but only because each of my sons requested it. Of course they didn’t request it. I couldn’t even discuss the decision with them, but I was pretty sure they didn’t want someone clipping off part of their penis. I finally made the decision to do it for a number of reasons. One of which was fear. A friend recently had to circumcise their one-year-old because of repeated infections. Still enjoying that hot dog? Ultimately, I wanted my sons to be like their dad. Cut off from a little bit of their manhood.
The only thing worse than deciding to have your son circumcised has to be witnessing your son getting circumcised. I’ve had to watch my three sons go through this, and it haunts me to this day. I’ve blocked out most of it, but I’ll never forget my first time. Well, my first son’s first time. Well, hopefully Jack’s only time. I remember everything vividly up until the point when I blocked everything out.
Since we elected to do a home birth, we didn’t have the option of a quick circumcision after the birth, as in a hospital. We had to arrange a circumcision at home in our tiny apartment. Jeannie found a highly recommended mohel, Doctor Emily Blake, to do the procedure. Dr. Emily is a mohel, a doctor, anda rabbi. Talk about an overachiever. I was relieved to know my son’s son-ness was in good hands. Then Jeannie notified me that she was going to invite some people to the ceremony. What? I didn’t really want people to know we were even doing this to our precious newborn son, let alone throwing a party to announce it. I didn’t even know we were Jewish. There were a dozen guests, including my sister’s girlfriend, a priest, and our mohel/rabbi/doctor attending the ceremony. We literally had the beginning of a classic joke.
A priest, a rabbi, and a lesbian walk into a circumcision …
As I mentioned before, I completely blocked out most of what happened that night, as I did with the other nights my sons were circumcised. Of course, if they ever question why they were circumcised, I’ll do the manly thing and blame it on their mother.
The Invasion
Nobody likes being a new kid. It’s uncomfortable and strange. People are mean and call you “dog breath.” Well, maybe that was just me when I was the new kid in fifth grade.
When a newborn baby arrives, he or she is the new kid. In a family with young children, it’s not just uncomfortable and strange for the new kid, it’s uncomfortable and strange for everyone. Sure, the new addition to the family is always celebrated and loved completely, but he or she brings change to the family unit. At the time of birth, suddenly there’s another person in the room or, in the case of a home birth, in your bathtub. It’s really a special time. While this event is magical and mystical for adults, for young children it can be overwhelming and confusing. A three-year-old can witness their mother’s belly getting larger, and you
We have to assume Abraham went through with God’s request. I’m not sure how Abraham hid this adjustment from his wife. Maybe he didn’t. Maybe he was getting out of the shower and his wife was brushing her teeth.
WIFE: What the hell have you done?
ABRAHAM: Honey, I can explain … God told me to do it.
WIFE: What? What if God told you to jump off a bridge? What if God told you to sacrifice our firstborn son?
ABRAHAM: Actually, I have to talk to you about that one …
Circumcision is a tough decision for any parent. Do you put your newborn son through an enormous amount of unnecessary pain, or do you have a kid with an ugly penis? Unfortunately, Jeannie left the decision up to me. I decided to go through with it, but only because each of my sons requested it. Of course they didn’t request it. I couldn’t even discuss the decision with them, but I was pretty sure they didn’t want someone clipping off part of their penis. I finally made the decision to do it for a number of reasons. One of which was fear. A friend recently had to circumcise their one-year-old because of repeated infections. Still enjoying that hot dog? Ultimately, I wanted my sons to be like their dad. Cut off from a little bit of their manhood.
The only thing worse than deciding to have your son circumcised has to be witnessing your son getting circumcised. I’ve had to watch my three sons go through this, and it haunts me to this day. I’ve blocked out most of it, but I’ll never forget my first time. Well, my first son’s first time. Well, hopefully Jack’s only time. I remember everything vividly up until the point when I blocked everything out.
Since we elected to do a home birth, we didn’t have the option of a quick circumcision after the birth, as in a hospital. We had to arrange a circumcision at home in our tiny apartment. Jeannie found a highly recommended mohel, Doctor Emily Blake, to do the procedure. Dr. Emily is a mohel, a doctor, anda rabbi. Talk about an overachiever. I was relieved to know my son’s son-ness was in good hands. Then Jeannie notified me that she was going to invite some people to the ceremony. What? I didn’t really want people to know we were even doing this to our precious newborn son, let alone throwing a party to announce it. I didn’t even know we were Jewish. There were a dozen guests, including my sister’s girlfriend, a priest, and our mohel/rabbi/doctor attending the ceremony. We literally had the beginning of a classic joke.
A priest, a rabbi, and a lesbian walk into a circumcision …
As I mentioned before, I completely blocked out most of what happened that night, as I did with the other nights my sons were circumcised. Of course, if they ever question why they were circumcised, I’ll do the manly thing and blame it on their mother.
The Invasion
Nobody likes being a new kid. It’s uncomfortable and strange. People are mean and call you “dog breath.” Well, maybe that was just me when I was the new kid in fifth grade.
When a newborn baby arrives, he or she is the new kid. In a family with young children, it’s not just uncomfortable and strange for the new kid, it’s uncomfortable and strange for everyone. Sure, the new addition to the family is always celebrated and loved completely, but he or she brings change to the family unit. At the time of birth, suddenly there’s another person in the room or, in the case of a home birth, in your bathtub. It’s really a special time. While this event is magical and mystical for adults, for young children it can be overwhelming and confusing. A three-year-old can witness their mother’s belly getting larger, and you
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