Read Online Cosmo's Deli by Sharon Kurtzman - Free Book Online

crash.”
    â€œMan, you are the luckiest son of a bitch. Why couldn’t I have been born with your looks instead of my wit? Chicks don’t want to fuck wit.” Rockin’ checks the clock. “Hey we’re back on in fifteen. Start with a mention of the bachelor’s auction.”
    Perfect. Georgie adjusts his microphone, ready to resume their on-air repartee.
    Rockin’ announces, “One lucky lady will get the honor of escorting yours truly, Rockin’ Ron, to the Q92.7 holiday bash at Meltdown. Pablum will be opening for Mourning Breath. So ladies if you don’t want to talk to me, you can listen to the bands. And remember to ignore my roving hands; they have a mind of their own.”
    Georgie jeers, “We’re all waiting to see what kind of man, woman or beast would actually pay for a date with my buddy Rockin’.”
    â€œOuch, that hurts my feelings.”
    â€œYou know we have a pool going. My money’s on beast.”
    â€œCome on ladies, someone’s got to defend my honor.”
    â€œYou must feel so cheap being sold up there like a piece of meat.”
    Rockin’ throws Georgie a menacing glance and pushes their outline aside. “Not as cheap as the baby doll you went home with last night.”
    Just as planned, Georgie thinks. “That’s not nice. The girl I was with last night is not cheap.”
    â€œOh ‘that’ kind of girl! How expensive is she, and does she charge by the night, the hour or in your case, the milli-second?”
    â€œThat’s not what I meant.”
    â€œOkay, okay, just tell me this.” Rockin’ leans close to the mike. “Does she have big breasts? Or better yet, are they bigger than you know whose?” Rockin’ hits a sound effect of Tawney whining.
    â€œI’m not going to answer that.”
    Rockin’ pushes another button sounding a warning signal and alters his voice, “This is a station advisory. If there are any small children in the room, get them the hell out! The show is getting good. Now, let’s get to it. Did she touch your manhood, your cucumber of love, your high-speed stick shift? Small dirty minds want to know.”
    â€œThe FCC is gonna kick us off the air,” Georgie warns.
    â€œLet ‘em try, those pussies. Now speaking of pussy.”
    â€œHow about a song?” Georgie kicks the show to music and the on-air light goes dark.
    Rockin’ throws down his headset. “You cut me off!”
    â€œYou were taking it too far.” Georgie pushes back lazily in his chair. He knows Tawney always listens in the morning and she’d be sure to listen today, wanting to hear how pissed he must have been at being blown off. The stuff about Renny would make her nuts.
    It takes a moment for Rockin’s slow gears to catch up to Georgie’s trap. “Damn you! You set me up didn’t you? You wanted me to do that?”
    â€œYou’re such an easy target.”
    â€œYou and Tawney with your mind whacks. They should ship you both off to the land of fuckin’ misfit toys.” He storms out.
    An assistant sticks her head in. “Georgie, Tawney’s on the phone. She sounds awful, I could barely tell who it was. All the screaming and crying. You better talk to her. And Rockin’ is screaming that he’s going to quit again.”
    â€œLet him, I’ll throw a party. How long ‘til we’re back?”
    â€œFour minutes.”
    He nods. His mind wanders to Renny, as he waits for Tawney’s call to be transferred. When he grabs the phone, Georgie isn’t sure whether he wants the call or the girl that comes with it.

Chapter Seven
    Renny sweeps into the office with her laundry bag slung over her shoulder and a wide smile stretched across her face. She sips her coffee and stops at Lucy’s desk, where the assistant sits perusing the Post . “Good morning, Lucy. Any messages for me?”
    Lucy