Read Online Conversations With the Fat Girl by Liza Palmer - Free Book Online Page B

off, taking a
    slow sip of her martini. I think that is the most she'll be
    ?eating?tonight. ?Sure. I work tomorrow night, so that'll work.? The
    waitress approaches as Olivia and Adam order their dinners. I haven't
    even looked at a menu. I pick up one of the two menus and study it as
    everyone, in turn, studies me-except the waitress, who can't take her
    eyes off Adam. I order the chicken with a diet soda. Adam sips his red
    wine and looks around the restaurant while I try to situate myself so
    there will be no more chair creaking. I have positioned myself so all my
    weight sits toward the front of the chair and a little to the left. The
    rest of my weight is distributed on the table, where I am pressing my
    elbows furtively One wrong move and the whole thing could topple over. I
    am so globally uncomfortable, I hear nothing but the creaks of the chair
    and the teetering of martini and wineglasses. ?So how do you like
    Pasadena??I ask Adam. ?Charming. I always enjoy visiting Olivia's mother
    and seeing the place my girl grew up. She really is a treasure.? ?Oh,
    Dr. Farrell, you are too too much.?Olivia turns bright red, giggles
    quietly and lifts her hand to cover her mouth. Are they making fun of
    someone right now? Is there a couple behind me who actually act like
    this-and are we going to take turns mocking their Victorian courtship
    traditions? I scan the restaurant for a man in a top hat or perhaps a
    woman's parasol leaning against a booth. Confused, and a little
    disappointed at not finding such specimens, I turn back to Olivia and
    Adam as the reality hits me. This is how they act together. ?What? What
    is it, honey??Olivia continues as Adam is now patting his napkin on his
    chin in disgust.
     
    62 56 Liza Palmer
     
    ?Just ... will you . . . just look??Adam is staring at a booth at the
    far end of the restaurant. I am horrified as I turn. Olivia gasps. A
    slight man is looking on as his wife slides out of their booth. Her
    stomach is sitting on top of and below the table for a
    sliding-glass-door effect. Her napkin is still perched on her large
    bosom, and she is nervously laughing for she has-horror of
    horrors-become stuck in the booth. She is trying to push the table
    forward, but it is bolted to the floor. As she pushes, the booth behind
    her is being rocked back and forth. The young man in the booth gets out
    and asks if he can help her in any way. Acting oblivious, the woman's
    husband, now on his cell phone, moves out of the restaurant. The woman's
    laughs are becoming more and more hysterical as she sees her husband
    leaving. The young man waves down the waitress, who tells him if they
    just push the booth back, the woman will be freed. The woman yanks the
    napkin off her breasts and looks down on herself. I can't watch anymore.
    I know that look. I know that moment. She is promising herself she will
    never eat again, and this is the day she will begin her new exercise
    regimen. ?Ridiculous,?Adam whispers. ?What?? Olivia leans in, smoothing
    her shirt down over her flat stomach. 'How does a woman allow herself to
    get like that? That is the manifestation of what has gone wrong in this
    country I shudder at what her heart looks like right now.? He sips his
    wine. If Dr. Farrell wants to call me fat, he should just come right out
    and fucking say it. ?Yeah.?Olivia's voice is breathy as she lifts her
    martini glass and swirls the olive around. The restaurant is abuzz with
    the goings on of the past fifteen minutes. I look over once again at
    Olivia. In a moment of pure
     
    63 Conversations with the Fat Girl 57
     
    fear, she catches my eye and I understand. I knew Adam didn't know to
    what extent Olivia had battled her weight. I thought he knew about the
    surgery and the complete metamorphosis of the past five years. Now I
    realize he has no idea how big Olivia was. That woman could have been
    Olivia without the bypass surgery The evening ends, and Olivia and I
    make plans to meet at the city hall gardens at