Read Online Confessions of an Ex-Girlfriend by Lynda Curnyn - Free Book Online

utter indifference to our needs, stood beside our table poised and waiting. She looked exhausted and I noticed a faded ink stamp on the back of her hand, probably from some East Village club. Had it not been for her softly spoken question, I might have thought she was going to lie down on the bench beside us.
    â€œDarjeeling for me,” Sebastian said, naming some substance I assume was tea.
    Noticing a woeful lack of caffeinated beverages on the menu, I ordered chamomile, deciding that if I wasn’t going to get a jolt, I might as well go to the other extreme.
    â€œSo, tell me, tell me, tell me. How’re things? Derrick?” Sebastian asked, settling into the cushions surrounding his seat.
    â€œThings are fine. Derrick’s…gone.”
    â€œGone? As in…?”
    â€œGot a job offer, moved to the West Coast.”
    â€œOh, dear.” Sebastian’s pretty little nose scrunched up in sympathy.
    â€œYeah, well, I guess you can’t say he didn’t warn me.”
    â€œThat’s the trouble with ambitious, creative, gorgeous men. They’ve always got something better to do than you.”
    Picking up my glass of water, I clinked it into Sebastian’s. “Here’s to slackers.”
    â€œSlackers with trust funds,” Sebastian replied, picking up his glass to drink. “Men without money are no fun.”
    â€œIt’s true,” I agreed. “I’ve been thinking of going upscale in the man department. I’ve got the boobs, all I need is the dye job.What do you say, Sebastian? Are you up for it?” I laughed, trying not to sound too desperate. I needed to be blonder, and Sebastian was the only one I trusted to take me to that next level.
    â€œOh, Emma. I’ve discovered that hair color—even good color—can’t solve all your problems.”
    Now this is where I began to realize that Sebastian had changed in some elemental way. Fear began to invade me. “Do tell,” I replied, trying for a light tone.
    â€œRemember John? Impossible John?”
    â€œAre you guys back together?” I asked with disbelief. John was the man who had tormented Sebastian for the better part of three years. A struggling actor, John was notorious for pledging his undying love to Sebastian just moments before he ran off with some buff production assistant or wardrobe boy from whatever set he was currently working on.
    â€œNo, no. Never, in fact,” he said, puckering his lips as the waitress placed our tea before us and slithered away once more. “John has been permanently replaced.” He began fishing around in the shiny tote he had with him. Pulling out his wallet, he flipped to the photo section and handed it to me.
    I was shocked to find myself looking at a photo of an Indian woman dressed in traditional robes, a bindi firmly in place on her forehead, a gentle smile on her lips. Not only was she female—an unimaginable possibility as a new partner for Sebastian—but she was alarmingly unfettered by the kind of female things that normally gave Sebastian pleasure—like lipstick, cleavage and a well-groomed brow.
    â€œMeet the woman who saved my life,” he said, smiling.
    I stared at him, perplexed. “I don’t get it.”
    â€œEmma, I have undergone the most amazing transformation.”
    â€œYou haven’t gone straight, have you?”
    â€œGod forbid!” he cried, shaking his head. “No, it’s nothing like that. This is my guru!”
    â€œGuru?”
    He smiled pleasantly, as one might at a small child in seriousneed of enlightenment. “Let me start at the beginning. I ran into John a couple of months ago, and you would not believe what he looked like. Completely bald, for one thing.”
    â€œJohn?” I said, remembering how much he had always treasured his long dark locks.
    â€œI know, I know, ” Sebastian said, looking sad for a moment, as if the loss of that