Read Online Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella - Free Book Online
Authors: Sophie Kinsella
Tags: Humor, Literary, Humorous, Romance, Literature & Fiction, Contemporary, British, Humor & Entertainment, Romantic Comedy, Contemporary Fiction, Contemporary Women, Women's Fiction, British & Irish, General Humor, Humor & Satire
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quid on a wooden bowl I don’t even like.
Miserably, I turn on the kettle, pick up a copy of
Woman’s Journal
lying on the counter, and flick through it—but even that doesn’t cheer me up. Everything seems to remind me of money. Maybe my dad’s right, I find myself thinking dolefully. Maybe Cut Back is the answer. Suppose . . . suppose I cut back enough to save sixty quid a week. I’d have £6,000 in a hundred weeks.
And suddenly my brain is alert. Six thousand quid. That’s not bad, is it? And if you think about it, it can’t be
that
hard to save sixty quid a week. It’s only the same as a couple of meals out. I mean, you’d hardly notice it.
God, yes. That’s what I’ll do. Sixty quid a week, every week. Maybe I’ll even pay it into a special account. That new Lloyds high-yield sixty-day access account with the tiered interest rates. It’ll be fantastic! I’ll be completely on top of my finances—and when I’ve paid off my bills I’ll just keep saving. It’ll become a habit to be frugal. And at the end of every year I’ll splash out on one classic investment like an Armani suit. Or maybe Christian Dior. Something really classy, anyway.
I’ll start on Monday, I think excitedly, spooning chocolate Ovaltine into a cup. What I’ll do is, I just won’t spend
anything
. All my spare money will mount up, and I’ll be rich. This is going to be so great.
OCTAGON —
flair • style • vision
Financial Services Department
8th Floor, Tower House
London Road, Winchester SO44 3DR
Ms. Rebecca Bloomwood
Charge Card Number 7854 4567
Flat 2
4 Burney Rd.
London SW6 8FD
2 March 2000
Dear Ms. Bloomwood:
Our records suggest that we have not received payment for your latest Octagon Silver Card bill. If you have paid within the last few days, please ignore this letter.
Your outstanding bill is currently £235.76. The minimum payment is £43.00. You may pay by cash, check, or on the enclosed bank giro credit slip. We look forward to receiving your payment.
Yours sincerely,
John Hunter
Customer Accounts Manager
OCTAGON —
flair • style • vision
Financial Services Department
8th Floor, Tower House
London Road, Winchester SO44 3DR
Ms. Rebecca Bloomwood
Charge Card Number 7854 4567
Flat 2
4 Burney Rd.
London SW6 8FD
2 March 2000
Dear Ms. Bloomwood:
There’s never been a better time to spend!
For a limited time, we are offering EXTRA POINTS on all purchases over £50 made with your Octagon Silver Card*—so take the opportunity now to add more points to your total and take advantage of some of our Pointholders’ Gifts.
Some of the fantastic gifts we are offering include:
An Italian leather bag 1,000 points
A case of pink champagne 2,000 points
Two flights to Paris** 5,000 points
(Your current level is: 35 points)
And remember, during this special offer period, you will gain two points for every £5 spent! We look forward to welcoming you soon to take advantage of this unique offer.
Yours sincerely,
Adrian Smith
Customer Services Manager
*excluding purchases at restaurants, pharmacy, newsstand, and hairdresser
**certain restrictions apply—see enclosed leaflet
Five
FRUGALITY. SIMPLICITY. THESE ARE my new watchwords. A new, uncluttered, Zen-like life, in which I spend nothing. Spend
nothing
. I mean, when you think about it, how much money do we all waste every day? No wonder I’m in a little bit of debt. And really, it’s not my fault. I’ve merely been succumbing to the Western drag of materialism—which you have to have the strength of elephants to resist. At least, that’s what it says in my new book.
You see, yesterday, when Mum and I went into Waterstone’s to buy her paperback for the week, I sidled off to the self-help section and bought the most wonderful book I’ve ever read. Quite honestly, it’s going to change my life. I’ve got it now, in my bag. It’s called
Controlling Your Cash
by David E. Barton, and it’s fantastic. What
Miserably, I turn on the kettle, pick up a copy of
Woman’s Journal
lying on the counter, and flick through it—but even that doesn’t cheer me up. Everything seems to remind me of money. Maybe my dad’s right, I find myself thinking dolefully. Maybe Cut Back is the answer. Suppose . . . suppose I cut back enough to save sixty quid a week. I’d have £6,000 in a hundred weeks.
And suddenly my brain is alert. Six thousand quid. That’s not bad, is it? And if you think about it, it can’t be
that
hard to save sixty quid a week. It’s only the same as a couple of meals out. I mean, you’d hardly notice it.
God, yes. That’s what I’ll do. Sixty quid a week, every week. Maybe I’ll even pay it into a special account. That new Lloyds high-yield sixty-day access account with the tiered interest rates. It’ll be fantastic! I’ll be completely on top of my finances—and when I’ve paid off my bills I’ll just keep saving. It’ll become a habit to be frugal. And at the end of every year I’ll splash out on one classic investment like an Armani suit. Or maybe Christian Dior. Something really classy, anyway.
I’ll start on Monday, I think excitedly, spooning chocolate Ovaltine into a cup. What I’ll do is, I just won’t spend
anything
. All my spare money will mount up, and I’ll be rich. This is going to be so great.
OCTAGON —
flair • style • vision
Financial Services Department
8th Floor, Tower House
London Road, Winchester SO44 3DR
Ms. Rebecca Bloomwood
Charge Card Number 7854 4567
Flat 2
4 Burney Rd.
London SW6 8FD
2 March 2000
Dear Ms. Bloomwood:
Our records suggest that we have not received payment for your latest Octagon Silver Card bill. If you have paid within the last few days, please ignore this letter.
Your outstanding bill is currently £235.76. The minimum payment is £43.00. You may pay by cash, check, or on the enclosed bank giro credit slip. We look forward to receiving your payment.
Yours sincerely,
John Hunter
Customer Accounts Manager
OCTAGON —
flair • style • vision
Financial Services Department
8th Floor, Tower House
London Road, Winchester SO44 3DR
Ms. Rebecca Bloomwood
Charge Card Number 7854 4567
Flat 2
4 Burney Rd.
London SW6 8FD
2 March 2000
Dear Ms. Bloomwood:
There’s never been a better time to spend!
For a limited time, we are offering EXTRA POINTS on all purchases over £50 made with your Octagon Silver Card*—so take the opportunity now to add more points to your total and take advantage of some of our Pointholders’ Gifts.
Some of the fantastic gifts we are offering include:
An Italian leather bag 1,000 points
A case of pink champagne 2,000 points
Two flights to Paris** 5,000 points
(Your current level is: 35 points)
And remember, during this special offer period, you will gain two points for every £5 spent! We look forward to welcoming you soon to take advantage of this unique offer.
Yours sincerely,
Adrian Smith
Customer Services Manager
*excluding purchases at restaurants, pharmacy, newsstand, and hairdresser
**certain restrictions apply—see enclosed leaflet
Five
FRUGALITY. SIMPLICITY. THESE ARE my new watchwords. A new, uncluttered, Zen-like life, in which I spend nothing. Spend
nothing
. I mean, when you think about it, how much money do we all waste every day? No wonder I’m in a little bit of debt. And really, it’s not my fault. I’ve merely been succumbing to the Western drag of materialism—which you have to have the strength of elephants to resist. At least, that’s what it says in my new book.
You see, yesterday, when Mum and I went into Waterstone’s to buy her paperback for the week, I sidled off to the self-help section and bought the most wonderful book I’ve ever read. Quite honestly, it’s going to change my life. I’ve got it now, in my bag. It’s called
Controlling Your Cash
by David E. Barton, and it’s fantastic. What
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