will – a dark forest and then imagine a shaft of sunlight scumbling through the trees, a brilliant, dazzling spiral of light. That light was my pleasure and for a few moments afterwards I stood stockstill looking down at the gift before I closed its pages and returned it to my desk.
I walked towards the door, but no, I could not help but turn around and walk back to my deskand very slowly lift up the lid again as if a wild animal were crouching inside. Just to smell the cigar smoke made my breath quicken then down came the lid again. Tonight I would read the book after Emily had gone to sleep for she always drifted off well before I did. Then a second thought occurred to me, not one I am proud of, but glancing over my shoulder I carefully lifted the lid of Emily’s desk and peeped inside.
Nothing was there. Nothing that caused alarm anyway; only sheaves of writing paper and a well-thumbed dictionary Emily had brought with her from home.
*
Pandemonium, the high Capital of Satan and his Peers 2 – best describes the dormitory on my return upstairs. The commotion when I entered the room was unbearable for it seemed that the air was ‘thick swarm’d’ with lace and ribbons, flounces of silk and skeins of laughter. It was merriment on a scale un-encountered, with Vertue Basompierre at its centre.
Emily, dear, sombre Emily sat on her bed with her hands over her ears in an attempt to ignore the commotion, not aided by the fact that Madame had sent up platefuls of cake and little sweet treats for the girls to share amongst themselves. I asked Emily if she was going to change her dress for the performance but she replied that the one she was wearing, that is to say the same brown dress she wore every day except Sundays, would suffice. For myself, I had created a pale blue sash out of an odd scrap of silk I kept in my sewing box which I now attached to my grey woollen dress. The adornment was enough to show willing but not too much to make me uncomfortable.
Downstairs and once more in the schoolroom we began arranging chairs into a semi-circle in front of the teacher’s dais which was to act as the stage. We hung long chains of paper flowers, which the younger girls had been making in the evenings in place of their studies,from the ceiling and around the windows. Everywhere was a mass of colour and indulgence – a reflection of the Romanism of this country and its frivolous nature.
I was still irked by the fact that Emily had not seen fit to tell me what it was she was to perform, indeed I was half expecting her to announce she had a headache or some such other complaint, but to my astonishment she seemed quite content to remain and get things in order.
Finally the scene was set and Madame Heger appeared and took her seat at the front of the room next to Mademoiselle Blanche who looked at the girls seated around her as if to say, ‘Look! See whom your Directrice has chosen to take a seat next to! Not that ridiculous woman Mademoiselle Haussé or that hideous German creature Madame Muhl,’ so proud and conceited was her demeanour.
‘Your sister is frowning!’ Vertue Bassompiere exclaimed as she seated herself next to me. Emily was on my far side, I knew she had heard the comment but she did not react. ‘Why is she frowning?’
‘I do not believe that she is,’ I said.
‘I think she studies too much. It is not good to read so many books. When you frown it affects the skin – you get lines on the forehead which are unsightly. I try not to frown – do you see?’ she said pointing to her own un-furrowed brow. ‘You would be happier I think.’
‘I am quite happy as I am.’
‘But
who
are you? None of the students here thinks you are anyone special – ’
For a moment Vertue’s impertinence shocked me –
who was I
indeed! The question threw me into a quiet distemper until I realized that Vertue had meant something quite other.
‘You have not even dressed up!’ she said. ‘How can anyone tell what
I walked towards the door, but no, I could not help but turn around and walk back to my deskand very slowly lift up the lid again as if a wild animal were crouching inside. Just to smell the cigar smoke made my breath quicken then down came the lid again. Tonight I would read the book after Emily had gone to sleep for she always drifted off well before I did. Then a second thought occurred to me, not one I am proud of, but glancing over my shoulder I carefully lifted the lid of Emily’s desk and peeped inside.
Nothing was there. Nothing that caused alarm anyway; only sheaves of writing paper and a well-thumbed dictionary Emily had brought with her from home.
*
Pandemonium, the high Capital of Satan and his Peers 2 – best describes the dormitory on my return upstairs. The commotion when I entered the room was unbearable for it seemed that the air was ‘thick swarm’d’ with lace and ribbons, flounces of silk and skeins of laughter. It was merriment on a scale un-encountered, with Vertue Basompierre at its centre.
Emily, dear, sombre Emily sat on her bed with her hands over her ears in an attempt to ignore the commotion, not aided by the fact that Madame had sent up platefuls of cake and little sweet treats for the girls to share amongst themselves. I asked Emily if she was going to change her dress for the performance but she replied that the one she was wearing, that is to say the same brown dress she wore every day except Sundays, would suffice. For myself, I had created a pale blue sash out of an odd scrap of silk I kept in my sewing box which I now attached to my grey woollen dress. The adornment was enough to show willing but not too much to make me uncomfortable.
Downstairs and once more in the schoolroom we began arranging chairs into a semi-circle in front of the teacher’s dais which was to act as the stage. We hung long chains of paper flowers, which the younger girls had been making in the evenings in place of their studies,from the ceiling and around the windows. Everywhere was a mass of colour and indulgence – a reflection of the Romanism of this country and its frivolous nature.
I was still irked by the fact that Emily had not seen fit to tell me what it was she was to perform, indeed I was half expecting her to announce she had a headache or some such other complaint, but to my astonishment she seemed quite content to remain and get things in order.
Finally the scene was set and Madame Heger appeared and took her seat at the front of the room next to Mademoiselle Blanche who looked at the girls seated around her as if to say, ‘Look! See whom your Directrice has chosen to take a seat next to! Not that ridiculous woman Mademoiselle Haussé or that hideous German creature Madame Muhl,’ so proud and conceited was her demeanour.
‘Your sister is frowning!’ Vertue Bassompiere exclaimed as she seated herself next to me. Emily was on my far side, I knew she had heard the comment but she did not react. ‘Why is she frowning?’
‘I do not believe that she is,’ I said.
‘I think she studies too much. It is not good to read so many books. When you frown it affects the skin – you get lines on the forehead which are unsightly. I try not to frown – do you see?’ she said pointing to her own un-furrowed brow. ‘You would be happier I think.’
‘I am quite happy as I am.’
‘But
who
are you? None of the students here thinks you are anyone special – ’
For a moment Vertue’s impertinence shocked me –
who was I
indeed! The question threw me into a quiet distemper until I realized that Vertue had meant something quite other.
‘You have not even dressed up!’ she said. ‘How can anyone tell what
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