Read Online Complete Works, Volume IV by Harold Pinter - Free Book Online

would receive the warmest of welcomes.
    FOSTER Who from?
    SPOONER My wife. My two daughters.
    FOSTER Really? Would they like me? What do you think? Would they love me at first sight?
    SPOONER ( laughing ) Quite possibly.
    FOSTER What about him?
    Spooner looks at Briggs.
    SPOONER They are remarkably gracious women.
    FOSTER You’re a lucky man. What are you drinking?
    SPOONER Scotch.
    Foster goes to cabinet, pours scotch, stands holding glass.
    FOSTER What do you make of this? When I was out east . . . once . . . a kind of old stinking tramp, bollock naked, asked me for a few bob. I didn’t know him. He was a complete stranger. But I could see immediately he wasn’t a man to trust. He had a dog with him. They only had about one eye between them. So I threw him some sort of coin. He caught this bloody coin, looked at it with a bit of distaste, and then he threw the coin back. Well, automatically I went to catch it, I clutched at it, but the bloodycoin disappeared into thin air. It didn’t drop anywhere. It just disappeared . . . into thin air . . . on its way towards me. He then let out a few curses and pissed off, with his dog. Oh, here’s your whisky, by the way.( Hands it to him. ) What do you make of that incident?
    SPOONER He was a con artist.
    FOSTER Do you think so?
    SPOONER You would be wise to grant the event no integrity whatsoever.
    FOSTER You don’t subscribe to the mystery of the orient?
    SPOONER A typical eastern con trick.
    FOSTER Double Dutch, you mean?
    SPOONER Certainly. Your good health.( Drinks. )
    Hirst enters, wearing a dressing-gown.
    Briggs goes to cabinet, pours whisky.
    HIRST I can’t sleep. I slept briefly. I think. Perhaps it was sufficient. Yes. I woke up, out of a dream. I feel cheerful. Who’ll give me a glass of whisky?
    Hirst sits. Briggs brings him whisky.
    My goodness, is this for me? How did you know? You knew. You’re very sensitive. Cheers. The first today. What day is it? What’s the time? Is it still night?
    BRIGGS Yes.
    HIRST The same night? I was dreaming of a waterfall. No, no, of a lake. I think it was . . . just recently. Can you remember when I went to bed? Was it daylight? It’s good to go to sleep in the late afternoon. After tea and toast. You hear the faint beginnings of the evening sounds, and then nothing. Everywhere else people arechanging for dinner. You’re tucked up, the shutters closed, gaining a march on the world.
    He passes his glass to Briggs, who fills and returns it.
    Something is depressing me. What is it? It was the dream, yes. Waterfalls. No, no, a lake. Water. Drowning. Not me. Someone else. How nice to have company. Can you imagine waking up, finding no one here, just furniture, staring at you? Most unpleasant. I’ve known that condition, I’ve been through that period—cheers—I came round to human beings in the end. Like yourselves. A wise move. I tried laughing alone. Pathetic. Have you all got drinks?
    He looks at Spooner.
    Who’s that? A friend of yours? Won’t someone introduce me?
    FOSTER He’s a friend of yours.
    HIRST In the past I knew remarkable people. I’ve a photograph album somewhere. I’ll find it. You’ll be impressed by the faces. Very handsome. Sitting on grass with hampers. I had a moustache. Quite a few of my friends had moustaches. Remarkable faces. Remarkable moustaches. What was it informed the scene? A tenderness towards our fellows, perhaps. The sun shone. The girls had lovely hair, dark, sometimes red. Under their dresses their bodies were white. It’s all in my album. I’ll find it. You’ll be struck by the charm of the girls, their grace, the ease with which they sit, pour tea, loll. It’s all in my album.
    He empties glass, holds it up.
    Who is the kindest among you?
    Briggs takes glass to cabinet.
    Thank you. What would I do without the two of you? I’d sit here forever, waiting for a stranger to fill up my glass. What would I