Read Online Coldhearted (9781311888433) by Melanie Matthews - Free Book Online

chalk. “Now yesterday we discussed personality disorders, and
I’d like to continue that today. We had a brief overview of them,
but I’d like to devote our short time this period to
schizophrenia.”
    A girl’s hand shot up.
    “ Yes, Candie?”
    “ That’s the one with
hallucinations, right?”
    Mr. Ballantine hesitated, and then said,
“Well, hallucinations are just one of the many factors when
considering if someone is schizophrenic.”
    “ But I remembered what you
said yesterday,” Candie said, obviously looking for
approval.
    Mr. Ballantine humored her with a smile.
“Yes, Candie, that’s excellent you remembered.”
    Candie giggled, ecstatic, and then twirled
her pink-dyed hair around her finger, trying to keep Mr.
Ballantine’s focus on her. It didn’t work but she kept right on
trying, undeterred.
    Another girl’s hand shot up and she didn’t
wait to be called on. “Hallucinations are when you see or hear
things that aren’t there, right Mr. B?”
    Mr. Ballantine answered her, but Edie
couldn’t hear his words. She was having a panic attack, wondering
where this lecture was going. Hallucinations? Schizophrenia? It
seemed more than just a mere coincidence. Was someone trying to
tell her something? Was that what was wrong with her?
    Am I…schizo?
    Edie grasped the scarf and necklace that was
encircled around her neck, needing comfort and courage. She
immediately calmed and her heart returned to its normal rhythm.
    She felt someone nudging her arm. “Hey, are
you all right?” It sounded like Diana.
    Edie looked up to see her
and Madelyn, concerned. Then Edie turned and saw that the whole
class was looking at her, even Mr. Ballantine. So…he was finally
making eye contact. Kudos to
him , she thought sarcastically.
    “ Edwina, are you all right?”
he asked, concerned.
    “ It’s Edie,” Edie corrected
him, when some of the girls started to giggle.
    He gave her a small smile. “Edie, if you need
to get some fresh air or—”
    “ No, I’m fine.” Edie
returned his smile. “Really,” she assured, lying.
    Mr. Ballantine nodded and turned toward the
blackboard, beginning his lesson.
    Edie was forced to tune him out when Madelyn
leaned toward her. “Are you really okay?” she whispered.
    “ Yeah, why, what happened?”
Edie asked, concerned.
    Diana furrowed her brow. “You were
shaking.”
    “ And mumbling something,”
Madelyn added.
    Edie shook her head. “I don’t remember any of
that.”
    Diana patted Edie’s hand. “It’s okay.”
    “ Yeah,” Madelyn added,
patting Edie’s other hand.
    Edie forced a smile to show
them that she was all right. They believed it and turned their
attention toward Mr. Ballantine. Edie followed and watched him
write the word schizophrenia on the board, then a few more words, and
finally hallucinations .
    She tried to remain calm and copied his
lecture into her notebook. When she reached the end of the page,
and then looked over what she’d written, she stifled a scream, not
wanting to draw any more attention to herself.
    She hadn’t been writing the teacher’s lecture
notes.
    Disturbingly, she’d written, over and
over:
    You’re going
crazy .
    It was like Mrs. Featherstone all over again
with Fat Girl. They had no intention of writing such horrible,
damaging self-indictments. Yet…they had. And after, no memory of
what they’d written.
    But Edie did remember one thing: while she’d
been writing, her hand had been flowing too smoothly across the
page, too fast; she hadn’t any control over her movements. Someone
else had written those words. Not her. But…maybe she had written
them.
    Maybe I’m
schizophrenic .
    Or was writing mean, albeit meaningful words,
over and over, and not remembering, a symptom of a split
personality? Did she have someone else inside her head?
    Edie looked up to see Mr. Ballantine writing
down tonight’s homework assignment. She glanced at the clock; there
were only a few more minutes left before class ended.
    And