Read Online Codependent No More Workbook by Melody Beattie - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Melody Beattie
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difference between seeing something in our mind and actually having the experience. Test this theory. Imagine how you’d feel if someone you trusted told you that something dreadful happened, and you believed that person. You’d feel exactly the same as you would if it actually happened.
One night when I first began setting goals, I wrote down all my hopes and dreams. When I finished, the thought occurred to me:
If you could have anything you wanted and it wouldn’t be bad or wrong, what would that be?
So I added that, and put everything I wanted on my goal list. Although it might take five, ten, or thirty-five years for some goals to manifest, every goal I wrote on that piece of paper turned into reality. I didn’t have to make things happen. I became clear about what I wanted, and I became willing to pay my dues. Then I turned my goal list and my desires over to my Higher Power, ending my goal sheet with the words
Thy will be done.
Then I continued to show up for life
One day at a time.
If you’re going to go for your dreams, go big. But also go with an equally large amount of humility. Plant the seeds for your dreams by setting and visualizing your goals. Then
Let go and let God
do the growing.
In recovery it’s called
Fake it until we make it,
or
Acting as if.
Activity
Set written goals. Spend time visualizing what you want your life to look like. Be specific. Include how you want your life to feel, what you see yourself doing, and how you imagine you will feel. Write as many goals as you want. If you don’t know what you want, make discovering that your first goal. Then let go, get up every day, and live your life.
Add new items to your goal list every six months. Set new goals when you get stuck, when your life becomes stagnant, when youdon’t know what to do or where to go next, when you reach your current goals, and when you don’t feel as though you have a life or ever will. If you could have, do, and be whatever you wanted, what would that be? Be clear about why you want your goals—your motivation and agenda. Tip: The more your goals involve service, the more likely it is that your dreams will come true.
If the thought of setting goals intimidates you, go to the library or bookstore and get some books on goal setting and creative visualization. Then read the books. Practice what they suggest. Like anything else, the theories in the books won’t work unless you work them.
Use the Tools in Your Kit
Recovery offers us many tools to aid in our spiritual growth. At the “Addictionz” Web site, www.addictionz.com, Dean Brandhagen gathered the most all-inclusive, comprehensive collection of Twelve Step sayings, slogans, and proverbs that I’ve ever seen, heard, or read. These sayings and slogans have a long shelf life. They’ve been around for a long time. The reason for that is that they work. They help us come to believe, especially those days when we aren’t certain if there’s any hope for us.
Sayings like the ones I use in this book have power because they’re simple to follow and they’re true.
Act as if
means that even if we don’t believe something orfeel a certain way, we can
Fake it until we make it.
We’ve used denial for so many years in a negative way.
Fake it until we make it
means that we can use the positive side of denial by pretending we can succeed until we do. We force ourselves to think and when you don’t feel as though we’re already who we want to become.
One more slogan that’s important is
Progress not perfection.
We don’t have to work any Step perfectly. All we need to do at any moment is the best that we can.
Activity
Become familiar with program sayings and slogans. One source for these slogans is Dean Brandhagen’s “Addictionz” Web site. If you stop by his site, be sure to thank him. Copy your favorite sayings on small pieces of paper. Then put them somewhere where you’ll see them often. Choose the ones that speak to you. Another saying is
Take what
One night when I first began setting goals, I wrote down all my hopes and dreams. When I finished, the thought occurred to me:
If you could have anything you wanted and it wouldn’t be bad or wrong, what would that be?
So I added that, and put everything I wanted on my goal list. Although it might take five, ten, or thirty-five years for some goals to manifest, every goal I wrote on that piece of paper turned into reality. I didn’t have to make things happen. I became clear about what I wanted, and I became willing to pay my dues. Then I turned my goal list and my desires over to my Higher Power, ending my goal sheet with the words
Thy will be done.
Then I continued to show up for life
One day at a time.
If you’re going to go for your dreams, go big. But also go with an equally large amount of humility. Plant the seeds for your dreams by setting and visualizing your goals. Then
Let go and let God
do the growing.
In recovery it’s called
Fake it until we make it,
or
Acting as if.
Activity
Set written goals. Spend time visualizing what you want your life to look like. Be specific. Include how you want your life to feel, what you see yourself doing, and how you imagine you will feel. Write as many goals as you want. If you don’t know what you want, make discovering that your first goal. Then let go, get up every day, and live your life.
Add new items to your goal list every six months. Set new goals when you get stuck, when your life becomes stagnant, when youdon’t know what to do or where to go next, when you reach your current goals, and when you don’t feel as though you have a life or ever will. If you could have, do, and be whatever you wanted, what would that be? Be clear about why you want your goals—your motivation and agenda. Tip: The more your goals involve service, the more likely it is that your dreams will come true.
If the thought of setting goals intimidates you, go to the library or bookstore and get some books on goal setting and creative visualization. Then read the books. Practice what they suggest. Like anything else, the theories in the books won’t work unless you work them.
Use the Tools in Your Kit
Recovery offers us many tools to aid in our spiritual growth. At the “Addictionz” Web site, www.addictionz.com, Dean Brandhagen gathered the most all-inclusive, comprehensive collection of Twelve Step sayings, slogans, and proverbs that I’ve ever seen, heard, or read. These sayings and slogans have a long shelf life. They’ve been around for a long time. The reason for that is that they work. They help us come to believe, especially those days when we aren’t certain if there’s any hope for us.
Sayings like the ones I use in this book have power because they’re simple to follow and they’re true.
Act as if
means that even if we don’t believe something orfeel a certain way, we can
Fake it until we make it.
We’ve used denial for so many years in a negative way.
Fake it until we make it
means that we can use the positive side of denial by pretending we can succeed until we do. We force ourselves to think and when you don’t feel as though we’re already who we want to become.
One more slogan that’s important is
Progress not perfection.
We don’t have to work any Step perfectly. All we need to do at any moment is the best that we can.
Activity
Become familiar with program sayings and slogans. One source for these slogans is Dean Brandhagen’s “Addictionz” Web site. If you stop by his site, be sure to thank him. Copy your favorite sayings on small pieces of paper. Then put them somewhere where you’ll see them often. Choose the ones that speak to you. Another saying is
Take what
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