Coda 02 -A to Z

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Authors: Marie Sexton
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nods. Good enough.
    I get down in front of him and start. I’m good at this. Don’t ask me why, ’cause I don’t know. I can swallow a guy pretty deep. Guess that’s part of it. Seems like that can’t be all of it, but like I said, I don’t know. This guy definitely likes it. As soon as I start, he says, “Holy fuck!” He actually starts to reach for my head, too, but then he catches himself and puts both of his hands behind his back.
    I do my best to make it good for him, especially since he didn’t argue with me about the condom. I don’t take him to the edge right away. I let him get real close a couple of times, then back off. Even use my fingers on his rim a little bit. When he finally comes, he cries out and grabs my shoulders so hard, I think I might end up with bruises. I don’t mind. He didn’t touch my head. That’s all I really care about.
    Afterward I rinse out my mouth while he’s still catchin’ his breath. Finally he looks over at me, and if he thought he’d won the lotto before, now he looks like he just found out the payout is twice what he originally thought.
    “What would you like?” he asks.

    “Same thing.” I pull out a condom and offer it to him. “It’s up to you whether I wear this or not.”
    He shakes his head. He’s already gettin’ down in front of me and undoin’ my pants. “You can grab all you want,” he says. “I don’t mind.” And then he starts. I close my eyes, and just let myself drift away with the feelin’ of his lips on me. It’s been so fuckin’ long, I almost forgot how good it feels. Can’t remember right now why I don’t let this happen more often. He said I could grab him, and I do. I hold on tight, feel that dark brown hair in my hands, and tell myself over and over again I’m not gonna think about Zach.
    But in the end, I do.
    I imagine it’s his dark hair tangled around my fingers and his mouth on me and his hands hangin’ on tight to my hips. I wonder how it would feel to let him kiss me. And then I come like I haven’t done in years.
    “Fuck!” It comes out almost a yell, and I know I sound pissed as hell.
    “What’s wrong?” I look at the guy, and I immediately feel bad. He looks embarrassed and a little bit sad. He thinks I’m disappointed.
    I make myself smile again. After all it’s not his fault. “Nothin’ wrong, man.” I get my pants done up and make sure I keep smilin’. “Just really needed that.”
That makes him smile again.
    We leave the coffee shop. Feels like I should say somethin’, so I say, “Have a good night.” Before he can say anything back, I turn and walk away. Not toward the club. I’m walkin’ the other way, headed for the gas station, where my shift starts in twenty minutes.
    Now I really let myself think about Zach. Can’t let this go on anymore. Never goin’ back to that store. Not ever gonna see him again. I know that’s what I need to do. Just gotta stop now, before I fall for him so fuckin’ hard I can’t ever give him up.
    I tell myself that’s what I’m gonna do.

    I know I’m full of shit. I know it’s already too late.

Zach…
    I FELT bad when Angelo left. I hated feeling like he was disappointed in me. And I had to admit, I was starting to wonder if maybe he was right. For better or worse, I ended up having extra time to think that night.
    Tom was forty minutes late.
    “Hey, baby,” he said as soon he was in the door. He kissed me, then started undoing my shirt. “I’ve been thinking about you all day.”
    “Don’t you want a drink or something?” I asked in annoyance, as he took off my shirt and started undoing his own. “I have wine.” He grabbed me and pulled me against him, his hands going to my ass and squeezing hard. “No, baby. I just want you.” “Do you have any interest in me, beyond sex?”
    “Of course I do, baby. How can you ask that? I’m crazy about you.” He kissed me again. “I’m just so hot for you tonight, I can’t stand it. I can’t keep

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