Read Online Cockroach by Rawi Hage - Free Book Online Page A

looking our way,
     smiling at my sister, stepping on the gas to make his sports car roar and fume. In
     return, my sister played with her hair, and on her way to thestore
     she swung her hips, stopping in the middle of the street to look back in the direction
     of our balcony before walking towards the store again. The man with the sports car
     followed her. In the store he stood close to her and her timid smile, smelling her soapy
     hands and her hair ointment, examining the lines of the blade on her shaved legs. He
     pulled some change from his pocket and paid for the bag of goods in her hand. She
     hesitated and refused at first, but he insisted, calling her
Madame
. So my
     sister accepted his money, and he followed her home, inside our building and up the
     stairs, talking to her about beaches and fast cars. He asked her name and offered her a
     cigarette. She, beaming like headlights, agreed to meet him again, in secret, below the
     stairs, above the roofs, on a moon with little alleys. And eventually, when she ran out
     of excuses to go down to the street for fresh air, to meet her girlfriend, to buy sugar,
     to chase the cats in heat in the middle of the night, she eloped with the military man.
     He picked her up one night and drove straight to the priest. The priest refused to marry
     them; the girl is underage, he said. The man pulled out his gun and threatened the
     priest, made him sign the paper, and drove my sister back to his mother’s house.
     There, after he finished his drink, he deflowered her, and when she asked for money to
     buy food he beat her.
    And how do you feel about that? the shrink interrupted me.
    I wanted to kill him, but I was young and he was older and stronger. Once,
     my mother sent me to my sister’s house with some food. When my sister saw me,
     tears fell onto her cheeks, cheeks that, I noticed, had become round and fat like her
     bellythat was inflated with a child. Her legs to her ankles looked
     straight as cylinders, she walked slowly with her hand against her back, and she did the
     dishes as she offered me coffee. Then we sat at the table, and she gazed in my eyes,
     caressed my hair, cried, and asked me about my father who did not come to see her, my
     mother who was mad at her, and the neighbours who talked behind her back. I stayed late
     to scoop her tears and watch her fingers floating towards my face. I closed my eyes and
     listened to the child in her belly. I was about to leave when we heard a Jeep stop
     outside, and doors slamming shut, and boots ascending the stairs.
    My husband is here, my sister said, and she pulled her hand away from my
     hair and rolled her eyes. She rushed to set the table, tossing plates like a poker
     player tosses cards, throwing forks and knives in the air like a circus magician,
     lighting fires like a primitive in a cave, and sweeping onion-tears from her eyes.
    The man was welcoming to me. When he saw me, he shouted,
Ahlan be ibn
     alaam
(welcome to the brother-in-law). He patted my shoulder and offered me
     cigarettes. We ate on the balcony and he poured whisky for both of us, and called my
     sister to bring more ice, cucumbers, and fresh almonds. When my sister told him that she
     did not have all this, he cursed her. He cursed womankind, and the hour when he had
     kidnapped her, and the priest who let him marry her.
    How did you react? the shrink asked.
    I did not say a thing. I kept silent. I should have said something. But I
     did not.
    Why?
    Because my sister looked at me. I knew that look: she
     was telling me not to say a word, not to interfere. I wanted to leave, but the man
     grabbed me. He persuaded me to stay. He wanted someone to drink with. He insisted. In
     the end, he even ordered me to stay. He cursed God and swore at the angels. We poured
     whisky while my sister cooked in the kitchen. Then, after many drinks, he pulled out his
     gun and started shooting in the air. None of the neighbours complained or stuck their